Got this in an email:

GIRLS IN MY CIRCLE

When I was little,
I used to believe in the concept of one best friend,
And then I started to become a woman.
And then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up,
God would show you the best in many friends.

One friend is needed when you're going through things with your man.
Another friend is needed when you're going through things with your mom
Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities.
Another when you want to shop, share, heal, hurt, joke, or just be.
One friend will say, 'Let's cry together,'
Another , 'Let's fight together,'
Another , 'Let's walk away together.'
One friend will meet your spiritual need,
Another your shoe fetish,
Another your love for movies,
Another will be with you in your season of confusion,
Another will be your clarifier,
Another the wind beneath your wings.
But whatever their assignment in your life,
On whatever the occasion,
On whatever the day,
Or wherever you need them to meet you with their gym shoes on and hair pulled back,
Or to hold you back from making a complete fool of yourself ..
Those are your best friends.
It may all be wrapped up in one woman, But for many, it's wrapped up in several..
One from 7th grade,
One from high school,
Several from the college years,
a couple from old jobs,
On some days your mother,
On some days your neighbor,
On others, your sisters,
And on some days, your daughters.

And I might add that some may be from BWS!

Have to say the most valuable thing for me about BWS so far, is to simply engage in chat about a broad range of topics. For my closest friends, I don't see them often but when we do see each other, the time tends to be focused on specific topics/shared interests without too much trivia...since time with each other becomes more precious especially when we don't see other often.

Currently in my social circle:
I no longer have any good friends that go far back as 7th grade.
But do have a good friend from high school.
And several excellent, close friends from university years.
I count on my sisters as great women to be with ..and to keep me in check.
I don't get along super well with my mother at this (there is a problem of linguistic fluency here) nor do I consider her a confidante. But she does know intrinsically my character...since she raised me.
I keep in touch with only 2 women from former jobs. One of them has been a mentor to me.
I used to have a friendship with a neighbour (she was a cyclist at 62 yrs. and cycled to work daily) but then I moved to another province.
I don't have any daughters to mentor/confide to. But he has a daughter and now I'm beginning to know 2 much younger women (they are 15-20 yrs. younger than I) which we share some exercise together and chatter together. These 2 women live close to me, so near-neighbours. Even though we email more than phone. Must be a generation thing??


Funny, Dotsie on the timing of this post. Just last night I was wondering if I was more a hermit-woman than I realized. It suddenly dawned upon me that I enjoy chatting with other women but I avoid women where talk is just the same old trivial topics over and over. I like being around women where we can talk widely and deeply about many different topics each time.

I have friends of varying ages and interests. I feel that this gives my life balance and a different perspective and keeps me from falling into a rut with only physical-fitness nuts!! I love to go to the movies and lunch with one, a day-out-of-town with another to shop, a concert and dinner with another, being there when they have a medical problem. Most of these women have become friends since my divorce and are also divorced, so we share a common bond. We all know that we can count on each other to be there in times of need. I feel fortunate to have them in my life.

This post just reaffirms my thoughts that it is better never to move away from family and friends because you will end up lonely and a hermit-woman as Orchid stated. Thats been my fate from having traveled several times to different states to live and for work. My girlfriends from grade school, high school and college have all disappeared, oh NO wait! I was the one that disappeared. Sometimes after being closed up in my office all day working, I would just like to pick up the phone and chat and laugh, be silly even, but there is no one I can call! Thats pretty bad and I did it to myself which is even worse.

chats, it's never too late to track them down. Does your cell have free long distance?

Yep, it sure does Dotsie, but they all are in the midwest and the time zones are weird. Plus I don't know most of their married names etc. Its a real problem finding these people after all these many years, especially living so far away. Many of the parents are dead already so I can't even call them.

As my dear mother likes to remind me, "I made my bed and now I'm lying in it."

I never expected to be widowed twice, figured I'd have a husband to spend my old age with. That doesn't help either.

I will say this, my best friends are here on BWS, in cyber space and thats okay with me. I would love some to be closer however but I guess I can't have everything.

But maybe chatty it's your natural tendency to be selective with friends.

It's not easy but it helps alot more for women with hermit-like tendencies to live in areas where there is a wide variety of activities and events that occur often and don't require knowing neighbours. Not all neighbours..are great folks. Not even when I was a child when we knew all our neighbours on our street.

Right now given the reality that I don't even get home until just before 7:00pm during the week, really cuts down alot of personal time. It makes it even near impossible for me to attend continuing education sessions or courses during the week. Which leaves the weekends as highly precious.

I also arrive home just shy of 7:00 PM and make an attempt to spend quality time with my friends (2 cats, dawg and horse - which can be hard work at times). Yet, for the single gals I think it can be a bit more difficult to socialize b/c not only do we work, but b/c we're just one person to take care of the house, yard, chores, parent (for those w/ children) and caretaker (for those who care for their aging parents).

Mustang, great point. That's a lot for one person to tend to. We have a hard enough time keeping up with two of us. One way to spend time with friends might be to help one another with yard work. One time you do one yard, and then switch houses. The company might be nice.

That's true Mustang. I have a single friend who owns 2 properties..the house that she inherited from her parents and the cottage she bought ages ago. 2 places are 150 kms. apart. I don't know how she does it..She also has had some busy full-times jobs which required her to commute at least 50 kms. one way.

Just a year ago, she had to take up a rental apartment in a totally different city...about 200 kms. away from both her properites..to pursue a job opportunity (on contract) that was a perfect match for her expertise and a good salary to make it worthwhile.

She finds ways of keeping in contact..but it does tend to be at a distance. She lives in her primary home now..in a town of 2,000 people...where she was raised.

I think the reality is that if a woman wants to pursue education beyond her hometown (especially if there isn't a home college/university) or find a job that matches what she studied/she is most interested in, there's a strong chance she will end up moving away from her birthplace for awhile or forever.

Or the reverse with a partner who makes a move to go elsewhere...