I just became a step-grandma

If anyone has any (and does not have your own),I'd love some advice.

Our "gift" (besides giving the personal shower) was presenting the parents (when we go see them) with three newspapers with the baby's birthdate. Why three from three different states?

One is the newspaper of the town where her Mommy was born; one is the newspaper of where here Daddy was born; and one is the newspaper of where DH was born (and his X)

I'm also looking for a linen calendar towel of this year. I'd given two at the engagement tea that I had for DSD before they married: one for each of their birth years; 1972 AND 1966.

I think I can do "different" stuff like this since I am removed emotionally. Yeah, I'm happy for DH, but I don't "feel" anything since she is not my daughter who gave birth.

Sounds like very nice gifts. Not sure where you'd get a linen calendar but you might try calling Hallmark.....good luck.

Do it Ebay!
Di, Congratulations! and am I to assume that you haven't held God's miracle yet? I think you just might "feel" something then. I am a step grand-ma and I am looking to holding mine soon. The biggest favour I can do for a my step grand baby and myself is to have the greatest relationship known.
I just sent my little 'miracle' a Valentine parcel.Good luck on finding all the treasures...and do try Ebay. http://search.ebay.com//search/search.dll?from=R40&satitle=linen+calendar+towel+
chick

[ February 01, 2006, 10:57 PM: Message edited by: chickadee ]

You may also try the Vermont Country Store, www.vermontcountrystore.com

Congrats. What thoughtful gifts.

I'm anxious to hear how you fell after seeing and holding the new bundle of joy.

Thanks,ya'll. DH says he "feels the spoiling gene" coming on! And asked if I feel it,too. But I do not, sorry to say.

My feeling is that this baby will be like a friend's baby who I will see often. Sorry, but it's just "not there".

But, I feel for my DH as this is the time when he needs to be sharing those feelings with the same wife who is the same mother to the new mother. (got that?? ) This is where divorce is NOT a good thing. Both he and his X are experiencing the same emotions at the same time, but separately.

Di,
Congratulations on becoming a Grandma.
Babies don't know from "Step" They love everyone that loves them back!

Di, congratulations on becoming a step-grandma. My sister is one and loves all of them without fail. best of luck to you.

Sandpiper

I felt sad when I read this as just having become a new Nana,but never thought of my husband feeling any different about the baby than me, as he is my second husband so really a stepgrandad, but my daughter dosn't think of him that way, he helped me bring up my children from a young age and they have more of a father relationship with him than there real father.Both my husband and myself had no grandchildren then there were three all within a month of each other, two in his side but they live in America, so we dont have the same bond but I would love to meet them, I think Nana's and grandads can almost be anyone that has a positive input in a childs life. I remember my own mum being Nana to every kid in the street, the good thing children don't judge and they are to young to hate

Thank you, Time on My Hands.I will do my best to"be Nana to every kid in the street, the good thing children don't judge and they are too young to hate" I needed to read that one!

Well...we went to visit the baby last week. And guess what? I did fine! She's such a cutie. I'm so thankful for a DSD who was NOT overly gushy with baby Grace. And DH is so in love w/her, BUT he does NOT miss the newborn "crying". We were only there for a whole day and two half days.

I think once she gets a bit older and adjusts to HER parents, it'll be a more pleasant visit.

Her mom is 34 and her Dad nearly 40. So, they are tired and it shows! my DSD is a good Mommy, very patient and calm. But my SSIL looks a bit strained. He works 12 hour days.

She is pondering whether to have another. I cannot imagine even HAVING that choice,but it's their life! I can't see baby Grace growing up w/out a sibling, but DH says kids are very expensive to raise today.

But,I'm back and feeling good!!

So happy to hear that the experience was a pleasant one for you. Hopefully the love will grow for her as she grows as is able to show you her love for you too...Kids just love their Grandmas, you'll see!

[ May 01, 2006, 11:02 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

PEople really are having babies at a later age these days. I think it's great. They are probably more prepared.

Happy to hear the visit went well.

So Di how are you and baby Grace doing after a month? Have you seen her again?

No, we have not seen Grace or her Mom/Dad since our visit in April. Her mother was there for three weeks so not sure when our next trek will be.

To be honest, I just do have have the "draw" that a real/blood grandmother does. Since she's not "mine" I just don't feel it. No pics in my purse (nor does DH have any!) WE get them via computer and we don't print them out...just archive them.

My life is way too busy to be worrying about a baby who is really not mine. If DH predeceases me, they will all be gone from my life,I'm sure. It's a 'given' in stepfamilies.

Oh well,a baby is just another person to me...sorry to sound so gloomy. But it's my way of handling being childless,not by choice.

Di,
I'm from the old school of "It takes a Village to raise a child" All babies are gifts from God and if you love Him--then you love all that He has created. I'm a stepmother and yes, I do have some difficulty accepting my NEW GROWN CHILDREN but I also try to look at it as a way to have a positive impact on the rest of their lives. And just like TVC15 said, Babies don't know what a "step" grandma is...they just know how to LOVE YOU!

Peace & Blessings,
Beverly
www.talk2bev.
author, A Baby Boomer's Journey Into Middle Age