Dave's mother...

has gone to stay with her daughter for a few months and we're (the three of us...MIL, Dave and I) are getting a much needed break from each other.

Unfortunately, it's taken the daughter only a month to get to the point where I was in a year and a half. We got a phone call Friday and both mother and daughter were just frantic. As a matter of fact, so were Dave and I...our furnace was broken and we didn't have heat and it was COLD and getting colder. It was difficult to make that understood though so we all ended up speaking much too sharply, much too loudly and getting hurt feelings all 'round. Not good.

A rehetorical question...*why* is caring for an elderly person SO stressful???

At least we're getting a few months off from care giving duties. That's a gift.

Thistle, you sound simply exhausted. And of course being cold doesn't help.
You ask why is caring for the elderly so stressful. I can't remember if you have children, but your experience with your MIL sounds a lot like the stress of caring for a child. The diference being that kids are so cute. And as an adult caring for a child, you at least have the advantage of size.
Maybe you could manage your MIL in the same way you manage a child. A friend described his child rearing technique as "A threat quickly followed by a bribe." I think child care experts use more PC terms such as 'rewards systems', etc.

Maybe the rest of having some time without the stress will renew you. Hope both your furnace and your spirit heals.
smile

[ December 20, 2004, 11:25 AM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

This is such a sensitive subject and the truth isn't always pretty. I cared for my sister for 5 years, she had MS and Dimentia an was a handfull to say the least. I went into it thinking, "how hard could it be, I raised two children." Well it was the hardest thing I have ever undertaken. As Smile says, these adults are not cute little children. In all honesly after awhile I resented her and her nasty dirty habits. I felt trapped and sorry I ever took her in. When she passed away, I was saddened especially for my mother who had lost a child and yet I am ashamed to admit I was relieved too. Its such a fine line we walk Sandra and after all she isn't your mother and believe me that does make a difference. I feel for you and understand your frustrations and even anger, I had plenty of both with my sister... .

quote:

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Originally posted by Thistle Cove Farm:
has gone to stay with her daughter for a few months and we're (the three of us...MIL, Dave and I) are getting a much needed break from each other.

Unfortunately, it's taken the daughter only a month to get to the point where I was in a year and a half. We got a phone call Friday and both mother and daughter were just frantic. As a matter of fact, so were Dave and I...our furnace was broken and we didn't have heat and it was COLD and getting colder. It was difficult to make that understood though so we all ended up speaking much too sharply, much too loudly and getting hurt feelings all 'round. Not good.

A rehetorical question...*why* is caring for an elderly person SO stressful???

At least we're getting a few months off from care giving duties. That's a gift.

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So the daughter is frustrated???? Let her be. On the other hand, maybe she doesn't have the temperament for this.

My sister and cousin (there are three grandchildren on my mom's side) both said they wouldn't have lasted three minutes with my grandmother.