It does appear that there are more interracial unions/marriages compared to a few decades ago. But still according to this study only 3% of all marriages and common-law unions in Canada, are interracial.

I believe it...people have lots of good friends..I think that's what we see out on the street, in malls and restaurants. But in terms of truly, living and sharing a life in its fullest daily, it's a different matter.

These are recent studies based on analyzing 2001 Canadian census data. Published by Statistics Canada, federal govn't agency that administers and collects census data nationally. We just had a census conducted in 2006. If you read, the last paragraph which summarizes this older study.


http://www.statcan.ca/english/freepub/11-008-XIE/2004001/articles/6882.pdf

For interreligious marriages in Canada, a demographic profile. Of side interest.
http://www.statcan.ca/english/freepub/11-008-XIE/2006003/pdf/11-008-XIE20060039478.pdf

have any of you dated or were married to another person outside of your racial group.

I'm surprised at the 3% statistic too; especially in Canada. We spent a week in Toronto once, and I had the feeling almost every couple was interracial there. I think the governor or mayor was in an interracial marriage as well.

I have to admit now, through our own personal family experiences, I would actually warn a couple from an interracial marriage. It has nothing to do with colour…I don’t see skin colour. It has to do with the cultural differences. I had no idea that the southern Afro American culture differed as extremely as it does, to the New England culture. Boy, that shows how naive I am.

I think a marriage is hard enough even when the couple comes from the same background. But when each one experienced a totally different upbringing, religion and just plain culture….then it takes a lot of work to make that marriage survive.

I think if a census was taken today, and was far reaching and factual, the end stats would be different. If a database was kept based on county marriage records and they were all compiled into one, I think a better picture would be painted... censuses are only as good as the takers, and the ones completing them correctly, if at all.

As years go by, I think the percentages will grow. At the same time, cultures will meld (which might happen more slowly, as some stand hard and fast for 'their' culture, as if it's an identity). Modified cultures will evolve, no doubt, given time. So will ethnic dilutions.

One other point... while helping someone with a graph, recently, for a presentation the person was to make, I noticed something new on one of the forms applicants were to fill out. Under 'Ethnicity' was a new category. There was Caucasian, African American, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, and Mixed. This was a blaring addition, because of two of my nephews, which are 1/4 Hispanic & 3/4 Caucasian, but yet they are considered Hispanic. By their mom, and others, marking the Hispanic box, the stats of a census using unclear elections would be skewed.

But you know Hannelore that's being in Toronto..or in Vancouver, where at least there is higher probability of at least having friends of opposite who are a different race. Whenever I travel in rural or small town Canada or U.S.,,I mean reality is a non-white visibility minority is a very relevant term.

You know my mixed niece and nephew, half-Chinese..when they visited a small university town (Kingston, Ontario), they thought it was SO white. (and at this point, they kind of yawn abit.) That was only 3 years ago. Population of over 150,000. University is Ivy-League..traditional, but solid and well-respected.

And ironically, my parnter's son's wife, a full-Irish young woman..said the same thing too when she went on a separate trip same place. to investigate university options and campus life. This young couple live (and born in) toronto which has over 1 million.

So I'm not at all surprised by the 3% estimate...even today.

i consider.,like many Asians and blacks would think the same, Hispanics to be white.

Honest. Not to confuse language (or language rights) or with religion. I consider alot of Jews except for black Jews in Ethiopia, to be Caucasian.
If look at it strictly from an academic perspective, Caucasians cover a broad spectrum but does include the hot latino countries.

If I see Italians, Hispanics...lumped together they all look white to me.

Just as you see Chinese, japanese, Koreans, vietnames, Burmese, Polynesian, Malaysians, hawaiians, ...they are Asians,.. I would consider native Indians lumped in with Asians. Same with Inuit. When I went to the Arctic..it unmistakenable to me, these people..clearly centuries ago came from across the Bering Strait. There would be some Asians indistinguishable from the Inuit if you just look at them together.

I have been mistaken for Filipino, Malayasian. It doesn't surprise me.

A sister of mine mistaken twice for full-blooded native American Indian..or in Canada, we use the term aboriginal or First Nations.

the good or just the fact of life, is that people do identify one another by race. They use the term Asian on me all the time. That's what they see visually first, they don't see Canadian. They see also "woman"/female.

In the end, there is nothing super special about any interracial couple..EXCEPT it's so easy to allow racial/cultural differences to detract you from the real issues/personality differences/similarities. This awareness can be good, by motivating each partner to work abit harder to make things work.

Or it can destroy a good relationship that began by surviving alot of obstacles/misperceptions from other family members, etc.

I would submit that one shouldn't enter into a permanent interracial marriage/union based on these primary reasons:
a) rebellion against parents/society
b) feeding on a stereotype of the submissive Asian woman, virile black guy, etc.

Maybe I am the one that is naive but I DO NOT agree that the problem is interratial. I have seen and know of many interracial unions and they are wonderful all the way around. I believe in your familys case Edelweiss your DIL is a lousy person, no sense or conscience and would be the same no matter what race she was. She is just a bad apple and there are many of those around in all races. Most black familys I am acquainted with, and there are many, their kids are wonderful and responsible people. The culture has little to do with it. No culture teaches lack of responsibility, lack of morals, or lack of good sense. It is something that just occurs in some, always has and always will. I am so very sorry it happened to a family as kind, sensible and loving as your own.

My only comment in all of this re: Edelweiss' DIL, is that we do not if she is merely a selfish woman taking her family support far too much for granted. We don't know if she occasionally flirts with drugs or other self-destructive behaviour....but if she doesn't, and if she was put on a different path, to be a hardworking, full-time career woman...who wasn't properly balancing her child's and marriage ..then wouldn't our impression change abit?

I think alot of us personally know the occasional mother who just has lost sight of balancing family vs. personal /career interests. It might taking something to shock them into reality. i dunno.

What I do feel strongly for children of mixed racial background is positive, good and consistent childrearing that will integrate the 2 different sides of the couple. It is important to the child's identity as s/he grows up..to have positive, open identification to both white and Afro-American/Canadian or white and Asian, etc. The children of these backgrounds benefit tremendously.

Your presidential contender, Obama is a good example. Tiger Woods, the golf champ of Thai and black background is another. My grown niece and nephew are other examples that I'm proud of.

I don't expect Edelweiss to say much here by now, since this is probably getting personal.
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But what I will say for myself...I probably appear to many of you, distant to my partners' children, since I CHOSE not become involving childrearing them when I started knowing them since puberty. His daughter will be 30 next wk., son is 28.

At that time I had zero interest, and looking back it was probably a good thing. Certainly my partner is glad I had no interest. He would have become mediator...which by the way, he would have good. But that's energy-sucking and heartbreaking.

I had no interest in getting caught in discplinary issues of their mom's style vs. mine, also pouring tons of effort...for children I didn't raise them from babyhood at all. Also when the birth mother who is a good mother, will always be at the higher level of closeness to the children. It's just reality.

And me looking Asian and already his kids partially grown, probably did create some distance for a few years. I can confirm that they absolutely hated sushi through the whole of their teen years...but now both love it for past few years. Can't get enough of it.

I was raised differently. And there were certain things how my partner handled, I would have done abit differently. But that's all history. The kids have grown to be excellent, responsible and hardworking adults.

And to confuse matters, there are the children who were born in other countries, look different, but have been raised by Americans theough adoption. You might see them and think another culture, but they've been raised here. All of this can be confusing if we go by appearance.

I propose that we choose to look at similarities, rather than differences in a marriage, and try to work from there.

This is not to say that differences can be ignored, but if two people love the heck out of one antoher, love can conquer all. I think the problem in some marriages is lack of commitment which breaks apart marriages where both are even from the same race.

Interesting topic.