I know all about the past ruling your life -- and almost ruining the lives of everyone around you because of that "need" to live there. I came to this conclusion and I refuse to let myself forget it ---

The past is good for remembering three things; what we DONT want to be anymore, what/who we DONT want in our lives anymore, where we NEVER want to be again.

Good memories and family and friends arent in our past -- they stay with us in the today and the future -- even if it's only in our hearts.

You aren't your past -- unless you CHOOSE to be.

You may have had the most horrible upbringing, relationships, experiences along the way -- but the bottom line -- YOU CHOOSE TO BE WHO YOU ARE !
No one else can MAKE YOU be anything else.

WHY? because you're NOT a child anymore. No matter how childlike you feel at times -- you're an adult and have the right and know how to draw those boundaries.

So what are the boundaries? For me, it's anything that makes me hurt inside -- any memory or experience or person that pulls me down to their level. My mother might have done me wrong as a child, but I refuse to allow her to keep me from growing as an adult. And for that reason, I can enjoy being around her now.

I enjoy LIFE now -- My hubby enjoys ME now. I'm a better mother and grandmother now. And where I thought God had abandoned me -- I now know that it was ME that abandoned HIM. It's not that he didn't hear me -- I couldn't hear HIM due to all the "PAST" in my life.

We all "go there" -- it's human nature to have a pity party now and then -- makes us stronger to pick ourselves up, shake it off and move on.

The secret is to know when to leave the party !