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#171237 - 01/14/09 05:44 PM
What would you do?
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Member
Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
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I was reading about Chatty finding out a man she went out with lied to her about being married and thought of this question.
If you have a friend and you find out she/he is dating something who is not who they say the are (they're married/use drugs/criminal record/etc)would you tell them?
OR if you have a friend who is married and you find out their spouse is cheating on them, would you let him/her know?
Have any of you had this come up and if so, what did you do or not do?
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Dee "They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards
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#171246 - 01/14/09 06:39 PM
Re: What would you do?
[Re: Dee]
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Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
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lol do you have something to say to me dee?!!???
i can give an example of a good frend (male ) being infertile. He meet date and moved in a younger ladie who wanted familie. I said nuthing about his infeartilitie as it might onlie have lasted a mounth or so and i din't think it my place.
Time went on i forgott about it untill about 1 yr into their relashionship she started talking about having kids, said she been trying and so had he! So i went to him to say tell her its not faire. Time went on and i knept presurising him to tell her and dieing with guilt inside everytime she chatted to me about having kids. It got very painfull.
He din't tell her and another women did, in an argument. I was their at the time and never seen anyone look so devistated, she looked at me and asked so i confirment it as the truth.
on settling home after the argument we had a cofe and i said why i had't told her and i din't understand why he hade't told her either and it was for her to ask him .
it took explaining and some time wto work out but thir stikll together as a couple and planning to adopt or foster or something else.
that was hardest secrite i held to myself in my life.
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"Our attitude either gets in the way or creates a way," Sam Glenn
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#171248 - 01/14/09 06:43 PM
Re: What would you do?
[Re: celtic_flame]
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Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
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oh iv a frend well both frends from a recentlie split up couple who been living single lifes for year or so now in seperate homes. She is dating he dose't know and i won't be saying anything. I won't be seeing him either.
Ther definatlie apart and no trust is being broken or voews between them. So i don't considere this my bussness and won't say anything.
I am not sure about the telling of criminal record or drugs etc at this time? i don't know why either so i have to think about it.
good question dee,
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"Our attitude either gets in the way or creates a way," Sam Glenn
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#171351 - 01/15/09 04:37 AM
Re: What would you do?
[Re: yonuh]
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Member
Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 3910
Loc: Alabama
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The quickest way to lose a best friend is to tell her. The quickest way to lose a best friend is to not tell her and have her find out that you knew. If they stay together, HE doesn't want you around any more. If they don't, it's your fault because you caused the breakup. It's a lose lose situation in many cases.
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chick ~ Here is the test to find whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't ~ ~ Prayer is the most we can do for another human being ~
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#171362 - 01/15/09 06:39 AM
Re: What would you do?
[Re: chickadee]
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Registered: 11/19/08
Posts: 1758
Loc: American living in Germany
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I kept quiet.
I actually ran into my friend's husband, (he happens to be my cousin), while he was sailing with another woman. Panic was all over his face. He was so afraid I would say something, he told his wife himself. She called the next day and asked me about it. lol. So it took care of itself.
In this case the wife knew her man cheats. They have worked it out, though,...and I'm still the good guy.
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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live. Goethe
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#171367 - 01/15/09 09:54 AM
Re: What would you do?
[Re: Edelweiss3]
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Registered: 11/24/06
Posts: 2930
Loc: Belfast/Northern Ireland
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what about knowing your frends new person was or had a criminal record, or was a drug user or such. Iv read some of you ladies background cheek some of your suters for such things, so would it be natural for you to informe your frend if you had knowlage of such information?
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"Our attitude either gets in the way or creates a way," Sam Glenn
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