I am caucasian and Hispanic, and my husband is African American. I won't get into the drama of what it has been like as an interrracial couple, but I have been examining our relationship in this context as of late. The reason why is because in the past few years, many of my friends have also started interracial relationships, and all of them have failed. While none of them say it was because of race, I do know that many of them were never open with the other people in their lives about their relationships.

I was trying to figure out why we had been successful and my friends hadn't. I would have to say that it was because neither one of us was shocked by the reactions we received. Don't get me wrong, there were surprises to how people reacted. For instance, I had no idea that my mom would betray my trust and try to shame me into ending my relationship. For the most part, I knew full well that it wouldn't be easy. I immediately told my husband what I knew would happen the moment I deemed we were serious enough.

I think where many of my friends went wrong is that they acted like it wouldn't matter and ignored potential problems. I wish we lived in a world where race didn't matter, and I think we are getting there, but to ignore the problem does no one any good.

It wasn't easy to face the problem. It hurt me deeply to know that my husband, who had never once felt ashamed of who he was, did now simply because of the people that were connected to me. However, it would have devastated him more to be simply kept in the dark about how my family felt or for me to lie to my family and make him feel like a dirty secret.

While things have improved enormously for us, between both families, I still question what it will take to get beyond tolerance to accpetance in some cases. I was wondering if anyone else has experienced this? I also know that some of you have children who are a different ethnicity than you are and was wondering if you every think of what it will be like for them when they enter serious relationships or what you hope they will be able to do when faced with such situations?