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#7083 - 02/24/06 03:15 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
NHJackie Offline
Member

Registered: 09/22/05
Posts: 868
Loc: Merrimack, NH
Dotsie,

I think you're terrific. I've said before, but I wanted to say it again!

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#7084 - 02/24/06 04:29 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
WordSmith Offline
Member

Registered: 01/27/06
Posts: 10
Loc: Texas
Agreed, Dotsie and thanks. I'm afraid we're not doing much to encourage OR support here, are we? I'm climbing off my soapbox now (where did I hear that before?) and am going to watch the Olypmics :-).

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#7085 - 02/24/06 06:36 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
XBWS Offline
Member

Registered: 11/14/05
Posts: 32
Loc: Guilford, CT
Don't worry Dotsie. I'm leaving this board. The one taking all the pot shots will remain. She's already driven off quite a few and will continue to do so ever time someone offers a different point of view then the one who claims to be all but a "expert" on this subject. Good luck, you founded this site but she owns it.

[ February 27, 2006, 07:31 PM: Message edited by: suzieq ]

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#7086 - 02/24/06 06:42 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
They're dropping like flies...

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#7087 - 02/24/06 07:03 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Phew, just checking in before calling it quits for the night.

suzieq, I am so sorry you are leaving. I just don't get it. Haven't you given and received lots of support here?

For the most part, I post here in the mornings. Occasionally I check in the forums later in the day. I am totally committed, but can't be here all the time. All I can say is I'm doing my best. I'm coming to the realization that this neighborhood can't please everyone.

I am not privy to the private messaging that goes on so I am often out in left field.

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#7088 - 02/24/06 07:37 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
Searcher Offline
Member

Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 645
Loc: boise
Dotsie,

"knock it off" . My very words to my children I don't know how many times......And as I can recall, my Dad's words to my siblings and I..

Maybe this will lighten the mood : One time my brother ('member the preacher guy?) hauled off and labled me a good one for socking him because he stomped on my perfect lavendar rug with all the loops that I had standing up perfectly...(Which he did with regularity, knowing this would send me into a fury!)WEll, Mother, used to say, Jawanna! - you let your little brother come in there, he only wants to be around you!!! No amount of explanation on my part would convince her otherwise; he was, after all the "baby". But my father could see differently. Being a guy himself, I'm sure he knew what nasty little tricks Randy was always up to....So he said to us on this occasion " You children come in here, I want to talk to you!. Father had spoken, and o boy, we knew we were in trouble now. Mother disappeared into the kitchen, and we were ALL BY OURSELVES !!! (Now, my father never struck us since we were just little tiny kids, before reason was an option, so we had no reason to fear his mighty self, but still, we feared him more than anything on this earth. His slightest word of chastisement would send me into a torrent of tears and running into my bedroom, where he would follow and always EXPLAIN why he was so disappointed. This was worse than all the lashings that could ever occur.) But on this occasion, Father said, "JO. You have reason to be mad at your brother. You have MY permission to hit him." Randy and I stood there, looking at each other, then our dad (to see if he was indeed, serious) and back at each other again. I thought about this. I loved to hit my brother whenever appropriate. It really felt great to just haul off and slug him! (the very brother who put garden toads in my bed, stomped on my rug, and and listened in on my private telephone conversations) I HATED him!!! But as I looked at him, waiting for his punishment, I suddenly turned to mush. Really mushy mush. I started to tear up, and realized, I couldn't hit that little guy! Not cold blooded hitting! In the heat of battle, it was ok, but not standing here in the living room looking at his cute little freckled face, looking younger by the second......I said,"I can't Dad.". "Yes, you can, Jo, just hit him. Hit him hard. ". Now I began to get mad at my father. "Well, Daaaad...." And DAd just sat there , silent. Soon, someone had to break the silence, "Daaaaaad, I can't hit him NOW!!". "Well, why not?". So eventually, it came out - "Well - I love Him!). Point taken. Father walked out of the room in perfect silence , letting the words fall on both our ears......

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#7089 - 02/24/06 07:52 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
Bluebird Offline
Member

Registered: 09/20/05
Posts: 2560
Loc: Pagosa Springs, Colorado
Oh Searcher, what an adorable story!! I'm so glad you couldn't hit him and that it was because you loved him. What a good sister.
And what a wise father!

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#7090 - 02/24/06 06:55 PM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Searcher, I agree with bluebird, your dad was so wise. That's proff that when we have the approval do do wrong, it takes something away from it.

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#7091 - 02/25/06 08:01 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
overthehillchick Offline
Member

Registered: 05/20/05
Posts: 31
Loc: Virginia, USA
If he is loving the rest of the time, there's not a thing to worry about. You would know it if something else was going on. There would be signs. I think it's just in the man's make-up to look at this stuff, not saying it's right, but I have found that if we let the person be themselves, then they won't try to hide anything from you. Trust is the key.

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#7092 - 03/27/06 09:01 AM Re: Really, is looking at porn a form of infidelity?
Sandi Offline
Member

Registered: 02/13/06
Posts: 163
Loc: Jupiter Florida
I suppose I should feel really bad....My husband, and we work together in our business,
is always!!!!!!!!!! home. Last xmas I gave him a bunch of single dollar bills w/ a note that said why not go to the T......bar? I thought it was cute, and he went...maybe that was not a good thing! But...it kept him happy and I'll probably do it again this xmas.

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