Thanks ladies. This is really, truly helping me.

She does seem angry with me but also with both of her brothers too. Maybe it's a male thing. Before we put her into rehab, my nights were spent being verbally abused by her until I tore into her one night. The next morning she apologized but I told her it had happened for the last time. I had the honor of hearing every single thing I had done wrong as a mother. I finally pointed out what she had done wrong as a daughter like almost causing me to lose my business. That's a long story in itself.

When she was drinking, she would get up in the middle of the night and take Tylenol PM without knowing it. It wasn't until the next morning when she'd vomit and see the remains of the little blue pills in the toilet that she knew she had taken them. She felt bad about it because if she had died, I would always think she had killed herself when she hadn't meant to. So, she does think of me sometimes.

I've told her, "If you are angry with me over something, spill it now and let's get it out in the open!" but she says she isn't. I must just be her beating post or I should say, I used to be.

I don't enjoy being around my own daughter because of the moods. If she wasn't my child, I wouldn't even have anything to do with her. That sounds so awful but it's true.