I'm not sure why I'm sharing this, perhaps because it hurts so badly and I've learned that sharing pain sometimes does diminish its powerful hold.

When we were cleaning out my brother's apartment in April, we struggled over what to do with a very old dresser. It was in very bad shape, and everyone decided to throw it into the dumpster. But when it actually came time to heave it, I couldn't. So dear hubby took it apart, and over the past few months has been fixing it. It's not perfect, still lots of scars here and there, but hubby did manage to find the beauty that I knew was lying underneath all of the dirt and damage. We finally moved it into our spare bedroom yesterday.

At some point yesterday afternoon, I came up the stairs to put some laundry away in the linen closet. As I rounded the small landing at the top of the stairs, I saw the dresser, and in a totally unexpected moment, the entire life of that dresser flashed before my eyes...how it had sat in my oldest brother's bedroom when he was born over 55 years ago, holding his diapers and baby clothes, how it had moved from house to house with us, moving out of the family home and into Mom's new apartment after Dad died, then moving into Gary's apartment when Mom died, and finally moving into our house after Gary died...and it will eventually move into my oldest brother's daughter's house when she marries and settles in with her own firstborn.

I was overcome with just how short and fragile life really is, how so much of what that dresser saw and lived for is now gone - most of my family is gone and what's left is scarred and damaged almost beyond repair. The pain of all of those losses was/still is too excruciating for words.

So now I'm trying to focus on the beauty and joy that I just know lives underneath all of those scars and this agony-of-absence...I guess the indomitable hope is that with the right touch and lots of TLC, the beauty will eventually shine through...

As your beauty shines through in every moment of your life. Thanks for sharing this beautiful story.

What a beautiful story! Beauty does shine through.

It's amazing the emotions these "old things" in our lives can bring up, isn't it?

Darlene

My son calls this a "moment memorium"
Its painful bitter sweet.I had it one beautiful summer evening driving my son back from a happy event.The coastline here is very beautiful and the loght that night magnified this.I wanted to weep and did. It was as if all our precious days had come home to roost.I have had similar laying in bed in hospital..when healing starts.And at a study group where poetry shared allows dimension to be held in a moment.
Eagle..you are special and in sharing your moment I too recall those times.Thank you.
Mountain ash

Eagle,

What a beautiful story...and what beautiful memories...they celebrate that our loved ones never totally leave us...they're always right there in our hearts!

Eagle Heart ,
You always touch a place in my heart . I remember when the relatives took all my mother's things in the house her china and silverware and furiture and I so wanted mom's secretary disk she had promised me . and I did not get it .Well they told her I did not want anything .

Then I went and looked at some of her wine glasses that I had that mom had given me earlier before she started with Alz . I remember how we drink wine in them and some happy holidays we had with them and her favorite candy dish that I got and remember those evil greedy people did not get it all. I had some of mom and dads memories that they could not take from me . So, now I don't feel so bad inside I might not have her desk and one of the relatives have taken i from me for themselves , but they did not get it all. They could never take my mother from me. That wonderful candy dish that I have an all that candy corn that was in that wonderful cut glass and wonderful holiday candy that set in that dish at Christmas time.

Thank you for easing the lost of those things that I did not neet anymore. Those material things I loss were not so inportant anymore .

Blessing,
Renee

Oh, Eagle you did it again, got me sniffling and teary. Beautiful story!

What a touching and beautiful recollection. Eagle, write or print out this story and put a copy of it inside the dresser! That way its legacy will be witnessed for others as well.

Thanks all for your lovely words and thoughts. This really did hit me hard, and it has been comforting to read your responses.

Meredith, you inspired me to print out this post. I'm going to put it in an envelope that I'll label "Dresser Stories" and store the envelope in the top drawer of the dresser...and whenever I get more memories of that or other pieces of family furniture (there are a few that my Dad built), I'll stick those stories into that envelope too.