I have just recently retired from being a Psych nurse. Add to that I have been diagnoised with depressive/anxiety Disorder/PTSD/Bi-Polar/Borderline Personality with schizo possible. AND OCD!
Anybody wanna talk?

Welcome to BWS, Nikki and you've come to the right place to talk. I'm diagnosed as BPII. I have a good handle on my illness as my doctor saw it through with me to get on the right meds. It took about a year or so to get the meds and dosages right. A couple of weeks ago I had a follow up appointment, and he asked how I was feeling on the meds. I looked at him and said, "I'm feeling great. Don't mess with them."

And, I am feeling great. I'm writing (which is always a good indicator of my mental mood.) and that's always good.

How about you? How long have you been diagnosed and how do you feel? Anything you need to talk out?

Hi, Nikki, don't you wonder about the accuracy of all those diagnoses? It sounds a bit too much. And you, having background as a Psych. nurse, would be aware of symptoms pointing to that.

I have taken SSRI's for years, first Prozac, and now Paxil. It has helped me tremendously, and I recognize that I have a predisposition (call it a chemical imbalance) toward depression with which I've struggled since childhood. I also recognize that the symptoms were very much present in both parents, and I think of it as both genetic and environmental in origins.

Last summer, my physician saw that I was doing SO WELL, that he reduced my Paxil. I haven't been quite right since, and within the past couple of months he went back and prescribed the original dosage, and I feel it is now not working as well. These meds are very delicate, and my doc should not have screwed with it. In myself, I recognize symptoms of obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior also, as well as currently battling mild depression. Prior to my doctor screwing with the meds, I was free of all of that.

Good luck to you, and keep posting.
ARI

You're to be commended for opening up, Nikki. We all know it's difficult to discuss some of our ailments.

Well, I didn't know what was wrong with me for a long time. I went kinda off the edge about 10 years ago and the medications they had me on worked great. THEN...as Nurses are prone to do (we're so stupid), I decided I didn't need it anymore. Well, about a year ago I started slowly exhibiting some mild symptoms but this past Jan. I went off the deep end for real. That's when they told me I had more than 1 diagnosis. So they have me on all kinds of meds to make me feel "normal" > But thats why I retired so early. I can't take the meds and work as a nurse. So, I'm working full time trying to hone my writing skills.
Thanks for your kind words. BTW I posted in some topic here, I forget which one, an article I wrote for National Missing Children's Day. I'd like some feedback on how it could have been better.
THE END

[ May 26, 2005, 08:23 PM: Message edited by: Nikki Stewart ]

"having background as a Psych. nurse, would be aware of symptoms" I know the symptoms are indicitive of all. I'm on Luvox which treats Depression & OCD. I take Klonopin, Wellbutrin and Zyprexa as well.
I don't feel I'm over medicated. I hate taking meds so believe me if I didn't think I needed them, I'd flush 'em.

[ May 26, 2005, 08:30 PM: Message edited by: Nikki Stewart ]

Nikki, how do you feel about retiring? You sound matter-of-fact about it. I have had clinical depression and anxiety disorder, including panic attacks. My concern was that I was always treated for the symptoms. It was not until my 40's that the reason for the symptoms started to be addressed. As Ari says, both my parents had depressive tendancies, and my father was diagnosed paranoid schizophrenic. I worried for years that I would be "just like my father." Anyway, my 40s it was noted that I'd really been battling PTSD forever, due to childhood sexual abuse and other traumas. So, in my case, it was nurture AND nature. The early anti-depressants such as Elavil made me a disabled zombie. The newer anti-depressants, such as Zoloft and Celexa, have been a life-saver to me. I also take Xanax at night because I get night-time anxiety. As a social worker, I was able to do research that indicates the a high percentage of people in psych wards are treated for symptoms, when the underlying causes for the symptoms (such as sexual abuse) are undiscovered and thus not addressed. I have so much respect for psych nurses. I wrote about one in Beyond the Tears who took an interest in me, and I will never forget her kindness. The psych nurses and aides were much more beneficial to me than any single session with the stupid shrink. I would say that that your profession would be enough to upset anybody! Thanks for opening up this topic. Love and Light, Lynn

Hi, again, Nikki,
I didn't mean to suggest that you may not need the meds or to diminish the diagnoses of the conditions. I commend you on posting here, and on sharing with us. We can all benefit, especially myself, from sharing with our sisters here on our passage thru difficult times.
ARI

Hi Nikki -

My son had (primarily) paranoid schizophrenia - a little OCD -a little personality disorder - it sounds like a lot of different diagnosis's -- but in reality -- they all tend to cross lines over and over with each other.

Robert was on Zyprexia and Paxil and he did very well on it. All the violence stopped and he was able to read and watch TV without demons coming out of the pages or screen at him. Seroquil made him see the Blair Witch and he thought she was chasing him around the house trying to kill him --it took about 48 hrs to get that out of his system. Within two weeks of switching to Geodon -- he chose to stop the torment of the voices with a gun. As a nurse - I'm sure you know all the dangers of doctors playing around with meds. As a parent - we found out the hard way.

I was diagnosed with MPD (DID) about 15 yrs ago. Not much you can do with meds with that -- drug one that needs it -- throw the others off balance.
But recently -- since I've pretty well "incorporated" -- and been "hanging out" here -- I think the few things that bother me now (a little OCD - small panic attacks - occasional fear of leaving my house) could now be helped with meds.

Its just that I've lived with me for so long -- I've gotten used to it. I'm not sure I'd know what to do if meds changed all that.

Dear Lionspaw, I am so sorry to hear about your son. What a tragedy. My father also committed suicide due to hallucinations, amongst other things. You know. what with the crime in our country, anyone with or without a mental illness could have fear of leaving the house! Love and Light, Lynn