Hello! I'm new to the Boomer Women Speak site and think it is great. Dotsie does a wonderful job helping us all connect. My book, Mothers Who Cry in the Night is featured on the Home Page this month. My son was killed in 1997 and it is the story of how I transformed my life and what I learned from this experience. I have helped so many mothers who have lost their children or who have "problem" children. I hope it helps the women here. Blessings, Rev. Dr. Betsie H. Poinsett

What an honor to have you here with us and there are many women who can and I'm sure will benefit from your knowledge. Welcome Reverend Poinsett.

Welcome Dr. Betsie, I'll be looking forward to your posts. I had a stillborn daughter and I remember crying in the night. No one would let me grieve for her. I've learned since that's ok even if I never saw her or held her. Writing helped.

Sherri

Hello Betsie and Sherri, i also look forward to learning from your posts Betsie. My heart goes out to both of you. Sherri, when my second daughter was born, the woman in the bed next to me had twins, her little boy did not make it.. Her cries through that long night will always remain with me. Through the years i've sometimes seen her in passing, she does not know who i am, but i always recognize her, and again hurt for her. Those who were with you at the time, undoubtedly still remember and also still hurt for you, but are so afraid of bringing you more hurt, if they speak of what happened...... It is right to love... but it is only through love that people ever experience that which is beyond description.... surely, it is only the most courageous who dare love again after such grief.. i'm afraid even to express these thoughts, in case i've said it wrongly. .. you are both in my thoughts this night....

I think you said it beautifully Norma.

I would love to see the woman who shared a room with me when our sons were born the same day on March 29th almost 21 years ago.

I think that it's wrong when a woman is not permitted to express her grief and talk about it. Talking about it, I think, helps you heal faster than just bottling it in. It happened to a very dear friend of mine. She said people would always "shush" her when she wanted to talk about her husband's death. She said they got uncomfortable when she'd cry around them so she stopped doing that as well. As a result, she said, she hurt even more.

Thank you ladies, sharing grief is important. The title of my book actually started long before my son died - his actions always got him into trouble and I would lay awake in the middle of the night going crazy wondering where he was and what he was doing. So I thought of all the other mothers who were doing the same thing - there is no one to talk to in the middle of the night!! Hence, the title came to me, little did I know that it would have a duel message and so appropriate after he died!! I write about all the things that helped me turn my life around before and after his death. My mission now is to help others do the same thing. Blessings, Betsie

Betsie, I haven't welcomed you yet, so welcome.
I am so sorry about your son's death. I may have missed it, but have you told us how he died?
I well remember the tears flowing onto my pillow at night when my 5th. child was in the hospital.
It is a lonely feeling.

Our children are so precious to us aren't they?

Hi Bluebird

After walking away from 8 accidents without a scratch - Bennett died from hitting a tree in a DUI in 1997. We always knew that we would get that call one night - after he died everything was revealed to me - he was a master teacher - helping me transform everything in my life that needed to be changed.

I often feel that my book should be in two parts (which it is) the first is all the horrible things we went through and how I pulled myself up from the depths and then he died and started APPEARING to many people to help them.
I was tempted to turn the book upside down and start the second half with these stories -- I have reports from people all over the world that he has accually come to and helped. It is surreal and yet that is what keeps me going.
Blessings, Betsie

I am always inspired by people who, because of their great faith, can take a personal tragedy and help others by it. God truly has His hand on you. I know Bennett's death was not in vain, based on your prayers and especially, your pain.
Thank you for sharing and I hope you feel free to tell us about some of these appearances.