Little Johnny's at it again.........!!


Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.

'Why do you do that, mummy?' he asked.

'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue.

'What's the matter?' asked Little Johnny. 'Giving up?'

* * * * * * * * * * *

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?'

Little Johnny quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

* * * * * * * * * * *

Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local Police Station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.

'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him.'

Little Johnny asked, 'Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture...?'

* * * * * * * * * * *

Little Johnny attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs, rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Johnny asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?'

His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure they are healthy and in good shape before I buy them.'

Johnny, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the Comcast guy wants to buy Mum.'

Oh Josie, these are fantastic, and yes, kids do say the darndest things.


Heres a cute one:

The teacher was having a problem with the behavior of the second grade clsss. She gave a simple assignment and they all messed it up in some way, not paying attention and just fooling around.

She stepped to the front of the class and said in an angry voice, anyone thinking he or she is stupid stand up. Hurry up, if you're stupid stand up....

Several minutes passed in silence and then little Johnny stood up. The class roared with laughter. The teacher slammed her fist down on the desk and screamed, silence class!!!
Then she turned to Johnny ands said, are you trying to be funny young man?
He said, oh no teacher.
So then you think you're stupid, is that right?

Johnny said, oh no teacher.
Then why did you stand up Johnny?
Well, because I didn't want you to be standing up there all by yourself teacher...