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#211224 - 02/22/11 05:03 PM Three Grandmas
Di Offline
Member

Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
If your kids had three grandmothers (me being the "odd one out"), how did you explain it to them when they were very small, if they asked.

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#211229 - 02/23/11 05:34 AM Re: Three Grandmas [Re: Di]
Anne Holmes Administrator Offline
Boomer in Chief

Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3212
Loc: Illinois
Di,

My kids DID have three grandmothers:
One each from their birth father's parents, Steve's parents, and MY parents.

But it got much more complicated than that:

MY parents divorced when I was pregnant with my son, so they've been through TWO new step-grandmas who were married to "Grandpa Rolf," and one new step-grandpa when my mother eventually remarried.

NOT TO MENTION that Steve's mother died a year after we were married, and Grandpa Jim remarried. Arletta, his second wife - and now his widow - is only slightly older than I am - and she's Black.

It's all worked out fine. We just explained things as they happened. some of the "ex's" have disappeared from our lives, but not all of them.

There was a full table of grandparents at our daughter's wedding reception. If I recall correctly, Jen was represented by FOUR grandmothers - and one grandfather...

Just go with the flow. Kids aren't judgmental about things like that. (When they were young, my kids just saw it as more opportunities for presents at birthdays...)
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#211232 - 02/23/11 04:55 PM Re: Three Grandmas [Re: Anne Holmes]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
I got confused just reading that, Anne. But love the idea of
more birthday cake!

I might add: I had 3 mothers! sleep


Edited by jabber (02/23/11 07:11 PM)

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#211238 - 02/24/11 01:30 AM Re: Three Grandmas [Re: jabber]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Sounds like quite a FAMILY TREE you have there Anne.
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#211240 - 02/24/11 02:15 PM Re: Three Grandmas [Re: chatty lady]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
I agree about Anne's family tree, very interesting.

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#211244 - 02/24/11 03:09 PM Re: Three Grandmas [Re: Di]
Ellemm Offline


Registered: 11/04/08
Posts: 601
I don't think small children have any idea how many grandparents they're 'supposed' to have. You're not the odd one out unless you choose to define yourself that way. There are so many families in circumstances like yours that 'extra' grandparents are the norm. My own grandkids have three grandmas; the kids all know of us as Grandma Firstname. Just tell the truth. They're lucky to have all their grandparents.

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#211245 - 02/24/11 03:21 PM Re: Three Grandmas [Re: Ellemm]
Di Offline
Member

Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
yes, I imagine when they are older, they'll soon learn about divorce etc. So many of their peers, nowadays, have divorced parents.

Incidentally, one of the grandmas is 80, so there is a chance they'll be down to 2 before they are old enough to really question.

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#211248 - 02/24/11 06:26 PM Re: Three Grandmas [Re: Di]
Anne Holmes Administrator Offline
Boomer in Chief

Registered: 03/12/10
Posts: 3212
Loc: Illinois
My kids learned about divorce in day care -- well before they went to school. I used a home-based daycare run by a woman in the neighborhood, so it was a small group. Regardless, there were several children with divorced parents.

The kids took it all in stride and just seemed to think it was normal.

When Bill and I divorced, Jen was 5 and Zach 2. I was very concerned about having to tell them we were separating, and the marriage counselor assured me that a 2 year old would not need to be told. That he wouldn't notice.

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! He did notice.

One incident that will live with me forever happened when I was trying to put Zach down for a nap shortly after we'd separated. He wouldn't stay down, until I finally agreed to nap with him, and we both settled down on my bed.

I of course, intended to get up as soon as he was asleep. Over the course of the nap, he kept stealthily moving closer to me, until he managed to stick one leg out so that it touched my thigh. This was his security alert.

As long as I stayed put, he was able to sleep. But once I moved away from him, the nap was over.
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#211253 - 02/24/11 09:46 PM Re: Three Grandmas [Re: Anne Holmes]
jabber Offline
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 10032
Loc: New York State
Too many "experts" think small children don't notice upsets with the family. I can testify, "they notice."

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#211282 - 02/26/11 07:51 AM Re: Three Grandmas [Re: jabber]
Edelweiss3 Offline


Registered: 11/19/08
Posts: 1758
Loc: American living in Germany
Interesting Ann. My granddaughter does the same thing when she stays overnight at our house. I never thought that her parents divorce could be the reason,...but maybe so.
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As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.
Goethe

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