I post this and open discussion on this because the couple of times I have "gone off," on the forum have caused a few to say that I am over sensitive.

I am. I admit this and I know I am so very sensitive that the lightest note of music can make my little finger move the way it should! I am so sensitive that even my skin is sensitive. I have always been sensitive and it has been a problem from time to time.

However,

It is what my friends come to me for and admire me for as well.

I try to be a sensitive as possible on the forum and when others are feeling pain and write about it, I really feel it with them! I often tell people that I am sorry for their pain because I AM and I really feel their hurt.

I was born this way and I was born sensitive to almost everything. It is one thing that made me, according to the Village Voice, a "World Class Dancer." I need that sensitivity to do my job, my art, and yes, to sustain the friendships I do have.

I flip out at meanness. I freak out at crudeness. I whince when people argue around me. I try to stop fights as fast as possible so that I don't have to deal with them.

I am not a debater but I have a son who is! lol. I have a son who can peel the pain off the wall with intellectual come-backs! I cannot. It is my way.

I also cannot wear any metal at all, not 18 gold, not platinum, not titanium, etc, lol.

The whole reality around me is sensitive, and it's not only mental, it's physical!

And so, I am not mentally ill by anyone's standards that I have ever met. I present to the professionals I meet and to those I know personally as a kind and good person, that is Sensitive. I cannot help it.

Again, most of my personal friends are sensitive too or are my friends because I am sensitive and can understand what happens to them. I can be taken advantage of for this reason and yes, I can "snap," when offended.

But I am just the "snap," and nothing more. I do not make war upon anyone, ever. If there is a war made on me, I always need friends to help me and thank God they are there for me.

I have a couple friends on this forum who are sensitive to my sensitivity that help me to return when I am hurt. But I am hurt, not angered when I "snap." Also: I hear others have "had it out," now and again.

And so, I open this thread for anyone to say what they are sensitive to. I do so with all politeness, and without personal messages.

Dancer

Dancer, I missed you "going off." Bet it was great. I don't like confrontations and don't handle them well. I'd rather walk away than respond. You're not the first to do that here and won't be the last.

Your body is certainly more sensitive than mine in many ways. Strong perfume and after shave can make me dizzy.

I'm sorry that happened here. I say, "Stick to your guns." Express yourself freely. It's my understanding we can do that in the forums as long as we don't attack anyone, which sounds like what happened to you.

I know you're a sensitive and loving person and I am grateful to have met you here. It's my experience that when others know I'm vulnerable, they attack. I hate when that happens. Stay strong, honor your convictions, and be true to yourself. Trite, I know, but it works.

I'm not sure if sensitive is the right word, but I have no tolerance for people who lie or play mind games -- bs, basically. We get them from time to time in here -- I don't need to mention names but those gals who've been here a while know to whom I refer.

I'm not sure what more to add..when I haven't met any of you in person. And have only spoken to Dotsie by phone.

Hence, whenever I see a meltdown..it's always quick to judge at the moment...but instead to see what happens later over a very long time.

I consider the meltdown on this forum so far, pretty moderate compared to stranger stuff and far-out convolutions of misunderstanding on co-ed forums where men dominate in numbers. (It's only cycling not a dating club. )

When we talk of "sensitivity" and personal affronts...this depends on the eye of the speaker vs. receiver.

What is interesting on this forum, are topics that are NOT talked/discussed in great detail or couched in acronymns, code words. ..and I see some of this reflected as very much as the majority demographic composition of this forum: now how's that for euphemistic terminology, instead of....white & predominantly Judeo-Christian, American boomer females.

And ask yourself why you would respond to me --in defense. I have observed the sensitivity of this forum..but it can get slightly stifling.. this is why I hope over time this forum will draw a broader, more diverse set of boomer women, worldwide who don't live in the U.S.

We have much to learn similar and contrasting lives of boomer women. The social revolution, fads..that we talk of are North American 1960's. What was it like to be a boomer woman in Japan during that same decade? In China? (Probably you were living in fear, tormenting of the bourgeoise was ocurring, university students sent to rice fields) In South Africa when Nelson Mandela was in jail?

I had a friend visit. She is a single boomer (51 yrs.) with a similar background as myself: a cyclist, childless, university educated, a professional by occupation, daughter in a family of 6, has her own home and her parents are working-class immigrant Chinese-Canadians. It was almost a relief..to talk to her and not resort to complex explanations of background, family, etc.

It is not often that I can truly SAY what i truly think and not hold back my opinions on significant subjects. And this forum...I'm just so polite ...for the sake of the forum. It's a reality...this type of self-censorship. Anyone agree?

Why does this forum mostly draw U.S. boomers? (Was the "boomer" label coined in the U.S.? I need to look that up.) Regardless, the forum was created in the U.S. by a U.S. citizen... I can see how it would appeal to like bodies. Maybe boomers worldwide don't relate to the term "boomer" like we do and wouldn't do a search using the word. Maybe that's why they haven't joined and/or participated. Maybe you gave the reason yourself... they can't relate because of a cultural divide. Who knows... I'd love to see greater diversity. That's one reason I belong to http://www.internationaldiscussions.com/
... this is funny to me (most likely not funny to others), but I often feel a culture divide between me and all others who don't live in Texas. I have to be honest and say there is a little tickle of "ouch," but it doesn't take over.
As for "couched in acronyms, code words," I often do so out of wanting to protect what dotsie has created.
I, personally, don't come here for major meltdowns. I hope they stay "pretty moderate." If we were a bunch of hussies, sparring constantly, the flavor of this forum would be more than uncomfortable for me, totally distasteful.
As for being predominantly etc.... I invite women to join regularly... all shapes, sizes, races, faiths, political persuasions... they might have joined, or maybe just read, and decided they weren't interested... I've yet to recognize one if they are present and participating.
This forum is what it is. It has it's purpose, and serves it well.
As for you being here, orchid - I can't imagine it without you!!!
While drafting this post, I have consumed an entire 16 oz. jar of pickled beets... my tongue is sure to be red!

I like the forum because it consists of women.I am totally aware many people will read post but not join and some will be men.That is why I shy away from certain topics.
Dancer has started some wonderful posts.How they roll on is up to those who answer.
I am not a US woman.But those who ask about Scotland are Celtic..and Dee.not many but hey ho.
I present myself as I am.I share only what I would allow in an open discussion .
I have never had a prom...but I loved the pictures and memories.
I am not a Grandmother but I loving sharing others'stories
What I would like would be if a poster said something unfair..that she would be told that was wrong..or if someone was oversensitive they would be gently told so.Privatly.

Meredith I have been here a wee while but No I don't know who the people are.In fact transparency would mean I could ask.."Who" but I dont.So maybe I still a new poster.By stating this you hint of an inner sanctum.
I have nasty messages from someone here..I retreated then returned...due in part to the kindness of others giving support.
People who have been hurt bring that to the table..they share .I hope we can offer support.But as always I realise a hurting peron like an alcoholic is always an alcoholic will always have experienced hurt.
In my case I am totally open My grandparents reared me.My Mother took the role of sister.Certainly this coloured my life.I am a caring Mother...shared that nurturing with many children..but never the less I had a "different" childhood.
I do keep certain issues private..that is my choice.
I hope I can share what we in the UK do regarding the integration of students. I am interested in lifelong education and welcome knowing more.
This post is not a complaint..it is the healthy airing in answer to what has been written.
One point I have realised is that the Boomer span is wide.
Certainly post war Britain with its shortages and then boom time was different from other places.That era shaped me.as did the education acts which gave me so much and the Nation Health Service here..Then the Open University which did so much for me.The open access to further education also.
Mountain ash

MOUNTAIN ASS QUOTE What I would like would be if a poster said something unfair..that she would be told that was wrong..or if someone was oversensitive they would be gently told so.Privatly. END QUOTE

The above is about all i would ask for heer too, in fact it is what i have asked for, if i have witness bullieing, picking on, racial slurrs, sexual orintasion and so on.....if its going on any of it either out of ignorances or intended malaces, i try to address it but their is always DOTSIE to talk to if something is persistent and unrelenting.

Someone wrote onces "its her house so let her make the rules and behavie yourself in someone elses house". (not to me but in relasion to some bikerring.

theirs conditions set dowen too belonging to this forum and for the good of the forum then they should be upheld.

In my wee mind they have been upheld. That dosen't meen to say that sometimes persons haven't been mean or self-ritouse or something else....but its been delt with in its owen time in spacific ways.....That overall turn out generallie ok.
The offending person dose not get publicalie slapped or humiliated, they get talked to , reasond with and if that dosen't stop the behaviour they get blocked or topic shut dowen...i never knowen for anyone to get banned but just becouse i don't know about it dosen't mean it hasen't been done.

I kinda like the saftie for the person hurt knowing the (other)person is being delt with but it aint heavie handed punishment or humiliasion, its the person who's done wrong being talked to and resond with....in short given a chances to learn something they need to learn. All in all its fair. In life i been unfaire, held racist, cultural, classist predijuces and biases. How would i learn if i haden't had the oppertunitie to "look" at whatever i said or done or the views i held. I am more for this process than the process of seeing someone slamed publicalie in someway. Even if i been cross at the time and it not felt right i relise thats just my anger and not the ultimate right way lol.

theirs a host of diffrent personalities heer, some gentile folks, some firearie, some quite some noise, private public, cross outspoken shy and so on...the whole gantlet of personalitie. Normalie represented in normal life anyway. we may need to read what they say in a post but dosen't mean to say we have to heed them. I agree with lots people say, it dose them no harm or dose me no harm either. we just gotta make way for everie one else and cut some slack if someones haveing a bad day.

I have no idea why this sight is still so populated with americans and that their no greater numbers of cultural, or racial mixes participating regularie in the forums, no furtheir idea than what gims has said.

I am not umerican but find enough in common heer to return heer, on the public forums and i think i writte/chatt with 3 other members privatlie who i am frendlie with. Im generallie open to chatten to any others but its thse same 3 i do and they do chatt with me.

people come heer for a varietie of needs and as long as those needs are being meet in some way (whatever they are)then i am sure they will keep returning.

MOUNTAIN I didn't know you been getting nastie pm's i sorrie to hear that but i know somepeople do send them...ignore butten be a good butten to click...i am glade ta came back, reallie. Hope it dosen't happen again.

MERIDITH BEAD

I know as you say theirs been folks heer who have lead and played mind games. I gess their has been but its in the minoroite i think generallie speeking most folks are honest enough.....or as honest as they need be in public for it to be ok, some stuff may be omitteed but thats cool, right.
Those that are telling whopping lieas do get cought out, the same with those playing mind games. People get board or feed up with it and react in a varietie of ways. It onlie takes time for crakes to show up big enough, often enough and long enough in the truth as their reprisenting it for it to become transparent.
everiething happens in its own time and its own way. Still i trust 99% of what the woman say and take it at face value 99% of the time. Soner or later it showes who has integritie and if someone hasen't as long as they aint ruling ones life what harm are they doing?
Anyway i just chalk it up to a real enough risk with whomever im interacting with on-line annyway, untill i get close enough or know them long enough for me to keep or uphold the trust i have in them.