Would someone please tell me why? When a celebrity gets cancer, such as Sheryl Crow and Christina Appelgate, the world goes crazy. It's OMG can you believe SHEEE has breast cancer? And when Christina Applegate has bilateral mastectomies as I did, Oprah is all over the topic, with Christina as featured guest. And they get to do PSAs and be spokespersons. And how AWESOME shee is for surviving cancer. And letting the world know. When I had breast cancer, the last thing I wanted was for a celebrity to suggest how I should handle it. Give me an honest to God peer with real world experiences. What do celebrities know of insurance costs, insurance decisions. Do you think a celebrity even notices when ONE SHOT cost 1,000 dollars? They don;t know they have accountants. And what about working chemo and reconstructive surgeries into the work/child balance, WITHOUT a nanny, nutritionist, nurse, driver and chef? I don't know why I resent this, but I do. I am a 5 year survivor. I am the one who sent (handmade) cards on this anniversary to everyone who meant something to me during and after the entire ordeal, and cancer was an ordeal second only to being the victim of child sexual abuse. I am the one who bought myself flowers and candy on the fifth anniversary of my first chemo. I had ONE year of chemo treatments and FIVE surgeries to my chest. And numerous injections for bone loss, iron loss, protein loss, not to mention loss of hair, loss of balance, loss of clarity (chemo brain) loss of weight (105 pounds) Loss of my husband's job because he had to care for me....Loss of house because we had to move to get him a new job...Loss of my already accepted MSW grad program because I lost ability to STUDY, loss of the BREASTS. criminy. Why do we need research for a cure? Because amputation of the breasts is NOT A CURE. it is barbaric. And my mother had her breast removed, and she is DYING of breast cancer anyway. I worked so hard to stay alive and I did and so what? So What? I don't even know why I fought so hard. I had said years ago
when my mother got cancer that if I ever got cancer I would NOT go through crap to fight it. And my husband said it was not all about me, he had a say in it too, so please fight. And I bought that and fought. Does anyone have any words that may help me reframe this frame of mind? Help please I am sick, sick, sick of IT. It, the whole cancer absurdities, public celebrities and private citizens, believe me, cancer is cancer, but those who have resources have a different experience than those who did not. I was in the hospital from Thanksgiving through Christmas in a noisy, uncomfortable, semi-private room in oncology with inept personal care attendants. The PCAs? It was like they were born yesterday. My husband wrapped me better than the PCAs. The PCA showed their shock at the sight of my RUINED chest. Plus, I almost DIED from morphine, couldn't swallow, couldn't breathe, couldn't reach for the buzzer, and where were the nurses? Eating Christmas cookies. The celebrities probably go to a private spa setting for recovery from chemo, and, wear their own designer nightgowns instead of the crap hospital gown and have a 24 7 attendant. I know this is More than a whine with grace, this is my tirade. I 1) don;t see why I had to go through that on top of everything else 2) dont know why I even bothered. What for? Who cares? Why bother? WHY???? pEOPLE Act like it's no big deal... oh Lynn got through it, let's forget about it. I'll tell you, my body never forgets. Healing? Yeah right there is always always always the nagging notion of my mother is dying. From breast cancer.

My dear Princess,....so be it. You are entitled to a tirade. And what better place to let 'er go than here! With October being Breast Cancer Awareness month, it's all around us big time. I've also been flooded with the memories because I can't turn anywhere without seeing it discussed in some way. No, a person of wealth would not understand the struggles we went through, simply because money is no issue and they can afford any little luxury. I experienced loss of home, a long term marriage, friends and of course, gained the permanent scars, loss of a breast, heaps of medical bills and went numb emotionally. So, yeah, I can totally understand your frustration and felt every word you've said. On the up side, my NEW (and improved from the first) hubby arrived home from work last night with not one, but TWO bouquets saying "this is your month, hon...let's celebrate life." God bless this man. So, PL, no your body will never forget, neither will mine. Thank God we've survived. I'm so sorry about your Mom. That would pi$$ me off, too. I had no family history. I wish I could just hug you. A small thing but I think we need it. Maybe someday. Love you, friend.

Oh Lynn, my heart is just breaking for you. I'm so sorry you had endure this, but even more sorry that all women and ANY woman should have to go through this terrible disease. I watched my mother do the same as you described above...I too said, I'll never put myself through this...I thank God every day that I've not been put to the test.

I wish I could help in your healing process, but all I have to offer is that I'm so grateful to know you. I'm reading about your strength in your struggles and I'm knowing that you will continue to be an inspiration to women who are reading this. Not only does it take courage to endure the trials, but it takes a certain kind of courage to shout OUT LOUD to the world exactly what cancer has done to you and your life; how it has made you feel.

If I had a magic wand, I would wave it over you and erase this from your life.

You don't have to hide behind emotions here, as LJ says. Say what you want to say. We really are listening and we really do care.

I'm so sorry!

Wow girlfriends, thanks for the responses. LJ, I did not forget that others, like you and Meredith, went through the same thing. However, there is something very healing to hear you say you went through the same thing in the same ways! And JJ and others who watched parents with cancer suffer, as well as friends and family, I'm sorry for them and for all those who had to witness the trials and tribulations of any kind of cancer. LJ, when you said you were flooded with memories, I thought, "i'm not the only one." You know how intellectually you can know something, but in your heart you forget, or shut down? Well, when you open up, I can open up too. When one heals so does another. JJ, thanks for your message. It is very important to me. L, PL

PL, I am so happy you posted all of this. Way too much Cancer in my family too.
I want to help you find a positive here in this celebrity thing if I may. The more Breast Cancer or ANY Cancer is brought to our attention, maybe just maybe one more woman or man will go and get tested.
Princess, your book is a difficult read for those who have gone through certain circumstances. If reading your book helps one more person seek help or find closure then it is all worth while.If someone hears about a celebrity having Cancer they may be saved if they go in time.

You are a celebrity in my book...You have reached and touched more than you could even imagine.

I am writing this with tender heartfelt feelings, Lynnie. Yes rant and rant some more...

Blessings

Oh, Princess, I am so sorry that you are having so much angst at the moment.

You are so right - celebrities are noted, the rest of us are often dismissed.

But you are not forgotten - not here. Most of us do not know your real, physical and emotion, pain. But most of us do understand pain - and it isn't fun.

We love you, PL, and want you to be happy. I hope your fine whine helped you get through this day, this week.

Wow Chick and Anno, I am touched by your responses. Thanks for the love. Chick, I know you are right, that celebrities use their celebrity for causes, and most celebrities are sincere. Yes, Anno, my fine whine has helped me already. Yes, getting the truth out. Your responses help me feel the love... which is the reason for being. L, PL

Princess, I am so sorry for your suffering. NO ONE should have to go through what you did. No one.

There are, as someone said above me, some things about celebrities you might think about:

Most of the time no one really loves them for themselves.

When they get cancer, their agents cross them off the list and ignore them until they can come in for a "body viewing."

They run the terrible risk of paparazzi snapping a photo of them at any time in their treatment and selling it for a mint.

If they are ingenues, they are over, no one wants to see them in a love story anymore after breast cancer.

If they are a singer, such as Christine, out goes her sexual appeal according to producers. They do not allow them to shoot in small amounts of clothes anymore because the public knows they had to have work.

If a celebrity falls apart, it happens in public. Look at poor Brittney. (sp.) The press almost did her in. You NEVER live down "losing it," no matter what.

Their contracts require that they have extra medical assurances for every deal they sign, and if they sign a "two picture deal," or a "four album deal," it'll be a cold day in hell. No one believes they are or will stay cancer free.

SAG insurance is terrible. It does not pay after a certain amount of money and does not cover them for much. It takse MANY platinum records to be a multi-millionaire, which most people don't know. It takes a lot of hit movies to command million dollar deals and only handful can do that.

You went through a horrible time, I can hear that and you have a right to let it out, and you should let it out. I cannot imagine fighting cancer, I have not. Someday I hope to talk to someone who has gone through it and learn more. I do know what it is like to fight for your life for four years and that takes some screaming to get out of your system. I honor your anger and your pain.

Dancer

Hello Dancer, thank you for your response. You know what it is like to experience one trauma on top of another, including life threatening conditions. I know you know what it is like. Fighting cancer is a lot like fighting disabling conditions... you are fighting for your life. I appreciate the reframing of celebrity status. That's something I needed: what is the downside of celebs? It's true that their lives in some ways are not their own. As for Britney, she was certainly an exploited child. Sure, she loved to sing and dance and it came naturally for her. But I saw a documentary that was not sensational. It showed some truths of the premature sexualization and ultimate exploitation of her. Again, I appreciate your feedback and concern. PL

Princess, your frustration, hurt and anger came out strong in your post. It was very real to me, so much so that I shut my eyes and felt with you after reading it.

I have to commend the wonderful words the Boomer ladies here have expressed on your behalf. The sincerity and eloquence these ladies convey make them all gems in my book.

I can’t even imagine how horrible it must be to go through all the things that you have gone through. But bringing it to attention to others makes you a celebrity for those that don’t have the opportunity to do so. If there is any comfort at all within this horribleness, then it is that you are able to help others be aware, and let them know they aren’t alone.