My 38 yr old single step son lives way north...and the last time we've seen him was 7 years ago.

We obviously don't see him much but I am wondering what conversation topics might me something I could talk to him about.

DH usually talks to him....but if I ever get the chance, I'm looking for ideas ladies!

It sounds like you barely know him. Obviously to know via your hubby, what his interests/lifestyle is like now.

Hard to answer this one. Is he going to be staying you folks?

With my partner's son who is now 28, I guess I worry less about what we talk about since he's matured as a great young man (now with his own son). When he visited us for several days a few months ago, the great connector..was food. He is a chef to earn his living...so he pored over my foodie books. I happily gave away 3 books to him that are clearly oriented to foodies.

He happily prepared for us 2 cheffy dinners. And of course, my partner was more than thrilled to accompany him and they bought the ingredients for the chef...

In a way, I don't expect to talk tons with him, but hope more for him to kick up, be happy, rest/veg and enjoy our company.
Whenever he visits, it's a happy, comfortable feeling for everyone.

When is he coming to town? I would just base it on what he does for a living and what he enjoys in his spare time. If you don't know much about him, I'd just ask - but that's me - the curious one! I just put questions out there and I can sorta figure out when I need to stop asking...

I do not foresee him coming to town, but we never know. I guess "Dad" is not as important as "Mom" is in a divorce situation.

He actually dislikes NM...dry, dusty desert. Even though he grew up here. That is why I just let DH talk to him on the phone When/if we see him again, it'll be easier to converse in person.

Time will tell, Di. If his birth father was always a reasonable father to him, the role of "Dad" as part of his development will become more obvious. Hopefully.

Understanding/becoming aware of the influence of same sex parent on oneself's development as one grows older..really has less to do with divorced parents..but more of a person maturing over time.

At least that's my theory.

You're right, Orchid. He and his dad, my DH, are very much alike. They can carry on conversations for hours about tech stuff. They are both VERY tech savvy.

And maybe men don't "need" the family bonding type things as women do. I know I am family starved, but DH does not seem to be bothered by it so much. He certainly is not making much of an effort to fly to see his son either!

Di, men are so different on these subjects, most of them anyway. I agree we women seem to need the interaction with family, and other women whereas men do not care one way or another, or so it seems...

About being family starved. He may be as well but men do not usually show their emotions on things like that. I too feel family starved at times especially having been raised surrounded by family and relatives galore. Now its just me usually.

chatty, this must be hard for you. I'm sure this is the reason you open your home to others during the holidays. I think it's a great way to fill your heart, and the hearts of others.

Its a sad substitute at best Dotsie but most who come here to share with me have no one at all, either they live far, far away or are all deceased.

We are all alone pretty much and so we comfort one another with good food, companionship, laughter, singing, and lots of hugs all around.