Hi There,
Its late and I can't sleep; I'm sure many others have been here before. I just wanted to find someone to talk to; someone that could truly understand what i'm going through.
my husband and i have been married for 2.5 years and we just found out we're having our first baby. he has 3 kids from his first marriage and we just moved down to florida to be close to his kids. they are 18,12 & 9. the oldest used to live with us and recently graduated from hs and i truly could not deal with him anymore so when we were moving I did not extend the invitation for him to come live with us.
the younger 2 are good kids but i'm so fed up with hearing about "my mom this and my mom that" everytime they come over. i've never had a problem with any ex the way i do with her, so i imagine that its not me. in fact my ex was at my wedding and everyone was ok with that.
well when the kids came to stay with us for march break, the 12 year old girl blurted out that her mom had said that it was illegal for her dad to have more kids and that he wasn't allowed to have more kids. i confronted her on it and instead of getting an apology i got a call full of insults from her new husband. my husband admitted at that point that his ex had called him and asked him to consider not having children with me bc she didn't think it was a good idea for her children. i was furious of course. still never got an apology for this but a month later, i got a nasty 3 page hateful letter from his ex pointing at all of the flaws she considers me to have. my immediate reaction was to sit down and cry and my husband's first reaction was to get upset at the fact that this was going on and walk out. he then took his son out for pizza and a movie so they could talk about what was going on. i was left at home to cry on my own. my parents were pretty upset when they found out that night and called my husband to express their concern for the problems i was going through bc of his ex wife and oldest son. at this point my husband said he would deal with his ex.
well today we were at the beach with the young kids and my parents and a friend thats in town. when we got to talking the 12 yr old daughter blurted out that her mom had called me a "B"
I was shocked and couldn't even say anything so i told my husband and his initial reacion was that it happened last summer and that its a fact that i hate his ex (as if that's supposed to excuse all of this)
He never wants to clear things up and be honest about the impact of her actions rather everyone seems to be scared of confronting her yet nobody seems to care about the impact of how i feel having to deal with all of this.
I am truly sick and tired of having these kids and their mom in my life. the oldest hates me and now the middle child is the pain in the butt.
I'm having thoughts about splitting up and not having to deal with his children and ex ever again.
Has anybody ever been in a similar situation?