She was married for over 25 years to a guy she met in church. She went to nursing school and he went on to medical school. He was always outgoing but fun. He also drove her nuts. Called her so many times a day wanting her to do things for him. She'd say no and then, give in. Caused her to resent herself for not standing up to him.

One Christmas, he bought her and I both a ticket to go to Acapulco for a week. Strange. Come to find out, he was leading a double life and was having an affair with a man. It went downhill and got really ugly then. He was trying to get her out of town so he could have his lover over to the house.

Talk about betrayal! It has taken her years to get over it. She's happily married now but I don't think she'll ever be the same again. How could she? All she ever really wanted in a husband was a Christian. Oh, he played that part well but I think when he was younger, it was him trying to fight his homosexuality.

Dianne, your poor sis. How many years were they married? Kids?

I've seen similar happen in this town. I believe some of the men and women from our era hid their homosexuality. They did the "right thing" by marrying the opposite sex even though it felt wrong. They tried to please Mom, Dad, society, the church, etc. As our generation aged, maybe then saw a way out. Don't you think?

Married 25 years. Three children. And, I should add that my ex BIL is also HIV Positive. No, my sister wasn't infected.

You're right, Dotsie. Nobody talked about being gay and they certainly weren't proud of it. I guess society offered my BIL a way out of the marriage. My sister was miserable anyway by the time this news came out. But, she's angry because he married her, knowing but in that era, you couldn't admit it, not even to yourself!

Gosh Dianne I feel for your sister. People that marry someone when they know that they're not right in one aspect or another commit the cruelest act on the other trusting and loving person going into their union honestly. I had a similar experience with my ex. He knew I had been a widow for 14 years and was not sexually active. We spoke for hours on end and he wrote me wonderful sensual letters and I have to be honest, by the time he came to Vegas I was ready to climb all over him BUT he insisted that we were both Christians and marriage came first. I agreed and we were married. Imagine my surprise when we fought every night for weeks about sex, first he was nervous, I was understanding then it was one thing after another until I finally realized I'd been fooled, hornswalged, used and lied to big time. I found out the letters came from erotic books and his imagination. I stayed with this man much longer than I should have for all the wrong reasons and after 6 years got divorced and for those wondering NO the marriage was "NEVER" :mad comsumated. Wonder why I hate men, thats one reason.

Gosh Chatty, that's awful.

My ex BIL fought his homosexuality. It had to be hard knowing. I remember him going through this bad depression, which he told my sister was a result of losing a patient but she found out later it was caused from his first homosexual experience. He is now married to a man named Robert. Geesh. Brought Robert to his son's wedding. That was interesting. Kind of like a soap opera thing.

Sometimes it feels like life is one big soap opera. I just pray none of us are the main character.

Dianne, how are the kids coping?

Chatty, I don't believe you hate all men. Remember your first hubby and your sons...

It's been extremely hard on the kids. They are livid with him on many levels but knowing he's HIV are afraid to say or do anything. I mean, he's gonna die. Bad place to be. The middle boy is just so angry at the world. Sad.

I just offered prayers for all involved. Especially praying for the innocent children.

Dianne, I really feel for your sister and although that didn't happen to me, I can imagine how upset I would be. A girl I work with Hubby did the same thing, left her after 25 years for another man. For the past 10 years since then, all SHE has done is whine and carry on about him and how much she loves him. She would take him back in a heartbeat. The guy is a hairdresser and before I knew they were separated, I had been to him several times. Ray Charles could have seen that this guy was gay. I've never understood why SHE didn't know! This has nothing at all to do with your sister's situation, I'm just commenting. JJ

JJ, it has a lot to do with my sister's problem. There is an entire Internet support group for women and men that have gone through this. I guess it happens more than we'd care to admit.

And, my sister went through the same emotions as if he'd cheated with another woman. Jealousy, revenge, you name it, she felt it.