I been married before (won't tell how MANY times before) and I got to thinking about how much I may have "missed out" on having had the same spouse for over 20 years or so.

When having conversations with friends who have been married to ONE spouse, they really do not know what it's like to have had to adjust to the baggage we all carry.

For instance, kids from previous marriages; meals that a DH can be used to but a new/current wife does not or knows how to make; certain routines like putting dishes IN the sink as opposed to ON the counter (gets me irritated every time!!).

I also know I do not know my spouse as well as those who have known theirs since, say, high school. We are still learning one another. I feel as though you all have a huge jump on your relationship, in a good way.

I also think that when a couple has kids, it gives them a new opportunity to learn about the other. For instance, DH is grandpa. I don't even know how to be a parent, let alone a grandparent.

Would anyone else like to expand on the "second" marriage?

How about the fourth marriage?? There is no way to describe what its like by the time the fourth one rolls around and then ends just like the other three.

By that time its more like going steady and then breaking up. You take the ring off, jump through the legal hoops and you're free to start all over again.

I've become jaded.

I never had the "jaded" feeling. One day, I knew my prince charming would be there. And, I prayed for him!

Having once asked DH why he married yet again, he said he "knew" he'd get it right eventually since he has family members who've "gone the long haul".

In a few weeks, we will have been married 11 years...the longest "run" for both of us, so we are excited about this milestone!

Once I was #5 and it lasted just over 4 years. He then went on to marry #6 and #7. Both ended of course. Then his life ended the past January. But I was blessed to see him last September and learned he accepted Christ as Savior!

THAT was a miracle!!

If I had married all the boyfriends I was serious about, I may have broken the divorce record.

Oh how I know about the baggage thing!!!! (By the way, how does one NOT have baggage at our age??) I was married technically just one week shy of 31 years....and now I have a new husband and we'll bat 3 years next month. This time around, in my opinion, was no different than being 22. We still had to crawl through the first couple of difficult years and all the adjustments it takes. We're starting all over again in our 50's and it's really strange at times. We were both committed to long term marriages when things fell through. We've had to both learn to trust and love again and it's not been easy. I feel like we're just now beginning to settle in and really know each other so much better and we're easier on each other. But in my opinion, I would have loved living my life through with just one man but it wasn't meant to be.

Oh by the way, I married my first husband twice...does that count for something????

Hmmmm...I'm not sure if it counts or not, ladyjane -- your option!

I have to say that sometimes I slip with the names...how embarrassing. My DH (#4) pretends not to notice. But then, he's besotted with me...

He's the best husband I've had and he does things so much better than anyone else that that's not a big adjustment. He was used to living alone, however, and we had to go through the fact that he needed to let me know when he was going to be late. I'm really sensitive to that because I was married to an alcoholic and NEVER knew when, or in what condition he was coming home!

Oh I couldn't agree more,Casey. My husband did the same thing at first. I was so untrusting and worried so about what he might be doing whenever he was late. Now he calls and lets me know what's happening...and usually shows up with Home Depot stuff or whatever! The slipping with names things has happened to me a couple of times...and it's happened to him. We just laugh it off because it's something that's bound to slip once in awhile. Think of this though --- husband #1 married another Jane! Guess he doesn't have to worry about "slipping!"

I appreciate hearing these stories. I've been married to the love of my life for 28 years so I don't have too many stories to share. However, I know a couple who married twice (same person) and then got together and had a child. Still not married for the thrid time, but happily living together and are great parents.