don't you just LOVE 4 am

august is sneaking up behind me
tapping me on the shoulder
like an elephant stampede
rob's been gone 1 year longer

my pen won't stop moving
like waves on the ocean
pounding against shore lines
my head swirls with emotions

it should be better now
it's been 2 long years
but my heart is still broken
there's still so many tears

how could this happen
losing my child
everythings gone crazy
the universe has spun wild

you just dont say goodbye
to the child in your arms
it just makes no sense
how God could allow harm

to the CORE OF MY SOUL

and then walk away
but i guess he knew
i'd have no choice
but pray

if i want to see
my baby once more
i have to leave sorrow
turn away -- close the door

and trust that some day
i'll see his sweet grin
and i'll hold my child close
in heaven again

Lionspaaw,
I felt your pain.

Hugs

Lionspaaw, I am glad you can express yourself so beautifully through writing.

I am so sorry this has happened to you and your family. However, I am grateful you are a faithful women and know you will see him again one day in heaven.

Please keep writing, reaching out, and having faith that God loves you and also feels your pain. He wants to comfort you as you comforted your son when he was alive. Bask in His comfort and know you are in the hearts and prayers of others.

I must say you are very creative at 4:00 a.m. Just think, if you had stayed in bed you never would have written that piece.

i am very thankful for the gift God has given me to get it ALL OUT of my system with something creative -- instead of destructive -- (like drinking) -- (i'm just sorry it took me such a long time to figure that out )

thanks for letting me vent ladies --

If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. Having been through it, I know what you're feeling. It's been 5 1/2 years since we lost Teresa. Whenever an anniversary of her death comes around, my body tells me, even before my mind acknowledges the significance of the date. I noticed yesterday that I was feeling kinda down...didn't understand why, until I looked at the calendar and realized that it will be six months on Monday since the fifth anniversary of her death. Once I have cried for a few seconds, I regain control and go on with my life. But at times it hurts as much as the first day. The episodes just get shorter and further apart. You will never forget your child. You will feel your child's presence at family gatherings and other important activities that your child would have participated in if alive. That will be comforting to you. You can talk to your child in your mind, or out loud if you are alone. That is ok. It doesn't mean you are crazy. You may even hear the voice in your mind.
I wish I had more time to write to you today, but I'm on my way to work. But tomorrow I will check my email and reply if you have left me a message. My email is dmbarnes@nckcn.com if you wish to talk privately.
My prayers are with you.
God bless you.
Dixie

thanks dixie -- i sent you an email