carrying on tradition

My MIL always gave us an Easter Lily. The lily scent reminds me of her. SInce she passed away this summer, I am going to give my BIL and SIL an Easter lily in her memory. I'm buying one for us too so we can think of her during the Easter season.

My mom loved the yellow peep candies. I found these precious little stuffed peeps that reminded me of her so I bought all the store had (I still need to find more) to give to her 13 grandchildren this Easter. Then maybe they will sit them our every Easter and think of Mom-Mom.

What do you do to honor your loved ones during holidays now that they are no longer with you?

I think giving Lily's is a wonderful idea Dotsie -

It's important to keep traditions going on -- we lose enough things in our lifetime - traditions shouldn't be one of them!

lion, do you do anything in particular for Robert throughout the year? Maybe you could do a butterfly release on his birthday. I don't know where you get the butterflies, but it's a cool idea.

Lion,
I think butterflies have a short lifespan so it might be difficult to find them for releasing. If you can't find them, you might consider planting some of the flowers that attract butterflies near Robert's grave. I have seen ads with those kinds of plants for butterfly gardens.

Our way of honoring my Dad's life is to get together as a family. We don't talk about him being gone. We just eat a lot and tell funny stories about him.

Laughing and eating were two of Dad's favorite things. Mom goes to the cemetery with flowers, but the rest of us can't seem to even imagine Daddy being there.

smile

[ April 08, 2006, 01:09 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]

Here's a site for butterfly release, kinda' pricey , but maybe not for what they do -

http://www.thebutterflysite.com/livesuppliers.shtml

I think I want to do this next year for Nichole..

Thanks for the idea Dotsie, if it's not for Lionspaaw, then for me!

Wow! What a great site searcher. I had no idea.

Isn't the internet amazing.

smile

I know! you can just sit there and let your fingers do the walking AND talking ! Plus, customer service is great !!!

I have always equated butterflys with flowers anyhow so this is just super...

And I understand that butterflies (apart from being a symbol of change and rebirth) are a barometer of the earth's health. The more habitat that we arrange for them, the better off we'll all be! So plant butterfly bushes and such.

Search

I love this butterfly idea Searcher...I have butterfly bushes all over my back yard...they are so graceful and invoke such peaceful feelings watching them flutter about the garden...

My kids and I chipped in and bought a commemorative bench to be placed on the Boardwalk in our little Beachtown in New Jersey...my parents always loved vacationing with my kids every summer in this town...and my mother made me promise her that I wouldn't go to the cemetary to "visit her" after she died...so when we saw the offer to have Memory Benches placed on the Boardwalk in honor of our Loved ones I jumped at the chance....it's going to be unveiled on Mother's Day...now I can sit with my Mom in her favorite place on earth and remember the good times we shared...I know she would love this idea...I still miss her so much!!! Daddy too..

We need to get lion in on this post so she can share her butterfly stories. I'll PM her.

Reading the posts brought back a memory I would like to share with you. My brother Ray was diagnosed with lung cancer in January of 2000.
My SIL was either in denial or just didn't know how to cope with the fact that my brother was not going to be around much longer. She did not want to have hospice or a private nurse so my sister Lois left her home and husband in Texas and came to stay with them in Iowa to help with his care.
Each weekend, I left my family here in Kansas and drove to Iowa to give my sister a break and spend time with my brother. During one of these visits my sister and I went to the store and while we were in the car we made a pact. If anything happened to either one of us , we would let the other know that we made it to the "other side". We decided the "sign" would be to see a feather somewhere that you least would expect it. We returned from the store, put the groceries away and Lois sat talking in hushed tones to my SIL and I sat next to my brothers hopital bed in the living room stroking his forehead or rubbing his feet to help make him comfortable. All of a sudden I see a WHITE feather falling from the ceiling! I thought I was losing it. I kept trying to get my sisters attention without interupting her conversation with my SIL all the while my eyes were glued to this feather floating from the ceiling. Finally, my SIL looks up and says " how odd, I wonder where that feather came from?" My sister and I broke down crying.We truly believe that our mother was "with" us in the car and heard our conversation and wanted to let us know that she was close and on the "other side" My brother died the next day. On June 11th, 2000 I woke up and as I started to make the bed I found a white feather at the foot of the bed. I probably would not have seen it but it was on my red robe. I decided to take a shower and then call my sister to tell her about it. While in the shower, I received the call. My sister had died.
We did not know until the autopsy that she had cancer and it had spread through her entire body.
Now every time I see a feather I remember.

Almostangel, I can't tell you how big the goose bumps I have are right now and I am all teary. What an incredible story! To know that your mother, brother and sister are watching over you and are so near must be both uplifting and eerie at the same time. Do you find yourself talking to them as if they were in the room? I think I would if it were me. What an incredible book this would make, this story should be told...

Chattylady, I don't carry on regular conversations with them . LOL Some folks would think I had lost my mind. But occassionly, I know they are trying to tell me something. The lights in the upper bedroom will go on or the sound machine will go on in the middle of the night. Or like what happened this past Wednesday. I woke up at a little after 3:oo am and could not get back to sleep, then at 4:30 I heard this howling. I woke Ian up and he went down to see what it was.
He comes running upstairs and says quick come look at the coyote. We live in Lenexa, Kansas right outside kansas city. I have never seen a coyote in the city. But , there it was in our DRIVEWAY in the well lit subdivision.

I feel blessed that I am able to still have a connection with them but it is really hard trying to figure out what it is they are trying to tell me. I always contact my sons and tell them to be extra careful in what they are doing. They never question why they just do it. A few weeks ago the sound machine in the upstairs bedroom started beeping like the alarm was set. I called my boys and told them to be careful and a few nights later my son ( the cop ) was making a routine stop when some lunatic on meth forced him to the ground, got on top of him and was choking him! He had to shoot the guy. The guy is going to be ok and has no memory of the event. My son had bruises and scratches on his neck for weeks. He called me after it happened and told me that had I not told him to be extra careful he probably would not have had is gun unholstered and would not have been able to get his gun out.

Butterflies and feathers seem to be the two things that our loved ones make contact with us from "the other side".

Perhaps because they are gentle, soothing -- non frightening in any way?

My son's first contact with his father and I came in the form of a yellow butterfly -- A few days after he died, I went out to a local nursery to buy a "memorial" tree. There were so many to choose from and as I looked from tree to tree -- a yellow butterfly started fluttering through the branches of this particular little tree with yellow flowers. I knew immediately that this was "Robert's tree". When I got home I asked my husband when was the last time he had seen a butterfly in our area and he said it was funny that I had asked because when he had walked out onto the tennis court earlier that day (his friends came and got him out of the house for awhile) this yellow butterfly fluttered in and out of the net and he had a strange feeling that Robert was standing there with him.

The next morning we both walked out to look at the little tree and there was our beautiful little yellow butterfly ---- it flew around us and in and out of the limbs on the tree and I knew in my heart that Robert was with the angels.

Another experience with a butterfly was in Tennessee when my husband and I took his mom and dad's ashes to the place where they had first dated and fallen in love. We wandered around trying to figure out where the "perfect place" to put their ashes would be when this itty bitty blue butterfly landed on my thumb. At first I thought it was Rob but then I realized it was my hubby's mom !! I asked her where we were supposed to go and she flew around my head -- around my hubby and then over this wall near where we were standing. We looked over the wall and there was a tunnel under the road --- we made our way down to the bottom of the river and let their ashes go in the swift current -- off they went together -- thru the tunnel -- along with the pretty little blue butterfly --

many times since then I have been touched by butterflies in my life -- always letting me know that I am not alone

Lion, I am so glad that you told your story! We have more then the contacts from our departed loved ones in common. My oldest son is also named Robert and goes by Rob. He just turned 30. Do you have some of the same things happen at your house that I do at mine?

Hmmmm -- you mean like the stereo that was in Roberts room and hadn't been used in almost a year going off at exactly midnight on my husbands birthday? (Rob always wanted to be the first to say happy birthday, merry christmas, etc etc)

or on Rob's first birthday after passing - Travis and Ashley (my other son and his wife and Robs best friend) came over to the house and we were standing in the kitchen talking about him when I looked over at the china cabinet and saw that all the doors were standing wide open -- thing is -- I've had that china cabinet since I was a little girl and 2 of the doors are stuck shut -- you would have to take a screwdriver or something like that to pry them open and another of the doors cant be opened because the key broke off in it -- well -- there they were -- wide open !!

I can go on and on ---

How about you almostangel ????

Exactly! I am so happy that you shared your experiences with me. I was hoping that this would be the place where I could find someone else that has the same things happen to them. Outside my family and a few really close friends I have not been able to share the experiences because I was afraid that others would think I was psycho.
We have a grandfather clock and we have the chimes turned off because it can be annoying when we are watching a movie and the chimes sound. Periodically, the chimes will go off on a particular hour. When I mentioned this to one friend she logically said that it was because the pendulum swing must have caused a vibration that moved the hammer from off to on. I listened to the logic then went upstairs to look through my records and brought down my sons birth certifcate, the chimes went off on the hour that my son was born. We were all in the same room, why didn't it go off before that? I took that as a sign that my family wanted to wish Rob a happy birthday even if they couldn't be here. Rob believes it too!
He grew up with unexplainable things happening and being a cop has not deterred that.

It is good to know that I am not alone in my personal beliefs of spirits. My DIL's father passed on six years ago and everyday for weeks all the lights began to go on and off and the stereo in Jason, my grandsons room would begin to play and only the classical station which her dad loved. We would all go to dinner and when we came home the stereo and the lights were on and were not on when we left. My DIL said she felt a sort of chill like something passing through her whenever she went into his old room. Then one day it just stopped after they moved. My DIL was certain her dad was trapped in that house. It has since been torn down for a new off ramp....Have either of you heard of or watched Char Margolis the Psychic? She is incredible!

[ April 29, 2006, 06:19 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]

I have not. Is she on television? Do you know what station she is on? I went to a psychic fair here in Kansas City a few years ago. My son told me that the police dept will sometimes use this lady called Joyce to help unsolved crimes. I wanted to see if she was there and if I could meet with her. He didn't know what she looked like or her last name. I had my doubts that I would find her because it's not like they wear name tags. lol I was standing in line to have my aura picture taken when this lady in her late 50's came up and touched my arm and asked me if she could talk with me. Well, I have complete strangers come up to me all the time so I didn't think anything of it. I told her yes, did she need some help with something or did she need me to call someone for her? She said "No, I just feel that I am connected to you in some way, have we met before?" I told her that I didn't think so and asked her name. You guessed it! It was Joyce.
She told me some very profound things about my history. I asked her if I could pay her for the reading and she told me that she wasn't there to give readings. She came in to drop off some information on a case and was leaving when she saw me.How wierd is that?

I hesitated to answer this because I didnt want to over write Danita's need to post -- so we'll just have to go back and forth between posts ;-)

My husband and son are earth bound souls -- they want to "feel" Rob as Ashley and I have -- but don't seem to be able to "let go" enough to do so -- and some people are just too afraid to allow themselves to "believe" -- so I do think that some people are able to communicate with "the other side" better than others

but like you say -- I've been looked at like a freak when I tell stories of what I've experienced throughout my life so I just dont say anything unless someone else can relate

Well Lion, tell away. If there is one thing that I am sure of..if you can't see it, that doesn't mean it's not there. Mothers day is coming up and my mom usually makes her presence felt. She has been gone for 20 years in October. I have moved several times since then but I am always glad that she can still find me : )

Robert died at home - the home we had lived in since he was 6 - so when we moved I worried that we would "leave him behind". So one night I drove by and sat in front of the house and told him to "hop on" if he was still there --- the next morning there was my yellow butterfly -- fluttering around my carport -- so I guess he found his way ;-)

My heart goes out to you ladies that have lost your mom and/or dad. I'm lucky enough to still have both of my parents - but as they are in their mid 80's, I know its just a matter of time before I get "that" phone call. My husband lost his parents in the 80's and he still misses them so much.

I lost my second husband to a drunk driver on Mother's Day in 1976. I still feel a bit of saddness come May 9th -- and I used to wonder how his mom was with it -- now I know what it's like to lose a son.

Jim's mom and I seem to have our lives inter twined somewhat - she was my girl scout leader when I was in Jr High - I met and married her son after high school - the day he died I lost a husband and she lost a son. Then 25 years later - (Jim was 25 when he died) she buried her husband on the day my son died.

coincidence ? I doubt it seriously ;-) some people are meant to be in your path from time to time

Oh yea - forgot to mention that her first name is Louise and my middle name is Louise and her daughter's name is Carolyn -- which is my first name ;-)

I don't think that anything is coincidence. I am so sorry for your loss of loved ones. You are blessed to still have both your parents. Every day should be treated as if it could be their last.
Longevity does not exist in our family. I never knew my grandparents, they died before I was born. I lost my Dad to a heart attack when I was only 7 years old. It shattered my world. I now believe that one event, that changed my life forever made me the strong person I am. Able to handle the many crisis situations my family has faced.
By far the hardest, is the death of a child. My heart goes out to all of you that have suffered that loss. When my daughter died the grief was terrible and I lapsed into post partum depression. If it had not been for my faith in God and the demanding needs of my two year old I don't know if I would have made it.

I think what's so hard about losing a child is that it goes against all the laws of nature.

Parents don't bury their children -- it's just not the way it's supposed to go !

I think that's what's so hard on my mom -- Robert was "her baby" that she allowed me to take home with me -- and it's hard for her to accept that she's still here in her 80's and Rob left us at 23.

I agree with you. Just think what a wonderful reunion they will have in heaven!

I have a brother that experienced a loss more painful then any of the others we have had in our family. His son Scotty (my nephew) died of a rare form of cancer when he was only 8 years old. They flew him to St Judes and they tried everything on this little boy. During the last stages of his life, Scotty told Dean ( my brother) that he wanted to go to heaven. He wasn't afraid. He then described to my brother what heaven looked like.
To this day, we all "remember" and look forward to when we will see Scotty again.

My ex the jackass #3 husband had the nerve to tell me that it was the devils work and that ALL psychics are not to be admired but feared because the devil has them. Can you imagine that??? What a empty headed moron he is and this from a man who never sees the inside of a church. I am careful however who I talk to about these things. Char Magolios is on the Law enforcement channel usually in the evenings, its channel 54 here. She has also assisted the police in cases. They show three other psychics as well and you get to follow them throughout there investigations, its fascinating.

[ April 30, 2006, 10:55 PM: Message edited by: chatty lady ]