Libido....

This may be too personal for anyone to answer, but I know I can't be the only one to experience it. And I'm looking for possible solutions/answers.

Does anyone else experience lack of sexual desire?

I've gotta make a doc appointment to check this out, but I am NOT ready for this part of life to be over with.

WW

only when I'm near my husband.

I don't blame you. Since I still get a bit of estrogen, it's not that big of an issue for me. Are you in menopause?

Meredith, you're a hoot.

I'm done with menopause. Sometimes I'm fine and it's "there." Other times no matter what, it's not.

Bodies are strange things.

And yes Meredith. You're a hoot! I've been where you are though, it's really NOT funny when you're there...

WW

Whirlwind, I think it's good that you have brought up this subject. I really wish I could take estrogen. I've tried, and it did improve my libido, but I got heart rhythm problems from it. So I'm just letting nature take it's course. Hubby (70 years old) has slowed down too, which makes things easier.
This part of your life surely isn't over, but maybe just less frequent; and you know,...I think that has its advantages too; now we have more time for other stuff. :-)

Less frequent isn't something I'm willing to entertain at the moment. My "mind" wants to enjoy it, I just have to find some ways to help my body along so it is possible and comfortable at the same time.

And yes Anne, it is a legitimate medical condition, one that affects us all sooner or later. It doesn't seem fair. Men have viagra. We have much less effective (and convenient) options.

Not sure about the estrogen. I know I don't want to take it orally, but topical has far fewer side effects (at least from the reading I've done so far).

And I thought the eyesight changes were going to be the thing that bothered me the most. Little did I know. Geez...!

WW

Even if there was a drug to take internally for women, I still wouldn't take it. And I hope he doesn't take it later either even if it's available now. I personally think unless the drug is related to pain, life/death or personal safety situation, I prefer not to take the drug.

Honest, regular exercise to help one's fitness does help abit and makes one more energetic. Too much outdoor exercise, can make one fall asleep so easily. Not kiddin'. Oh well, at least he understands.

Meredith...I cracked up laughing at your respond...good one girlfriend!

Whirlwind...I've hit this chapter of post-menopause and have absolutely none and I have a hunk for a husband (as the ladies here keep atesting to I tried hormone shots but they made me hairy and almost develop an adams apple so I tossed that option out the window.

Here's what you do. Accept it as best you can. It's how God made us and reaching this time of our lives...well...this is how it's supposed to be. Larry understands that I'm probably never going to act like a 20-30-40 year old again and he tells me it's okay...as long as I make time for him that's all he wants. So, I do...I keep him happy even though I really don't get much out of it. What I get is the emotional connection, the feel of him holding me, our holding and kissing one another. Motion in the ocean is fine but I'm never going to catch the big one anymore, if you get my drift, and frankly it's no big deal. My desire for that is gone.
It doesn't seem fair to us that after all we go through as women, this is how we end up...but, this is nature's way and acceptance is half the battle.
I got way more personal that I probably should have but I want to keep it honest and maybe this will help you and/or someone else see that this is just part of life's process.

Do you like pumpkin seeds? I understand they have an affect on the libido.

Where do we insert them?

EDELWEISS....ROTFLMBO....LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

Pumpkin seeds? If I don't like 'em, I'll learn to! Take me to
the pumpkin seeds! Thanks gims!

Larry out planting pumpkins as we speak!!!

This is hysterical.

I'm all for trying lotions, potions, creams, oils, whatever it takes to get you going.

Speaking of where to put the seeds, there's a true story told by a friend of a friend who's an ER physician. This woman goes to the ER and told the doc, "I have vines groin' outta my virginia."

The doc said, "what?"

She said, "I have vines growin' outta my virginia."

Sure enough, when the doc examined her, she had vines growing out of her vagina.

Someone told her to stick a potato in her virginia if she didn't want her bladder to keep dropping.

So she did.

The doctor removed the potato, vines and all.

True story, so I wonder what would happen with the pumpkin seeds?

Whaaaaaaaaat? This IS hysterical!!

Well. to quote Dee; "Motion in the ocean is fine but I'm never going to catch the big one anymore."

Who knows what may happen after planting that pumpkin seed.

LIBIDO huh? Ain't that just the bee's knees. I always thought LIBIDO was the name of the big hairy Italian guy that lived down the block. Humm, imagine that!

Well, I have a dropped bladder but I don't think I'll insert a
potato. Not into having vines growing where I don't want vines
growing. Some people will try any self-help method!


Edelweiss3,
Love that puppy!

You girls are the biggest hoots!!!
Dots, I wouldn't be surprised if that story isn't true. I lived with a family (other than my birth fam) my senior year... the mom was a nurse. She told of how women would come to the ER to have light bulbs, etc. removed. But, to have vines growing seems a bit much. Are there really people (women ) that lame brained? Really? So sad!
I'm not one wanting to increase my libido. I have better things to do with my time... but, I did a search on a site I receive e-newsletters from, searched 'libido' and found this:
http://www.nativeremedies.com/products/t...if#testimonials

Some one else's Mom..that so figures for young women..
In my job I was for many years "someone elses mom" for many girls/toung womem.(What a gift for me.)
and from that extended group we can get answers to the questions we ponder about .

my spelling or actually eyesight without spectacles is my excuse for the above mistakes...AH..to blame something other than myself...

Hoping you all would get a kick out of that story.

Chatty...you're cracking me up, girl!!! The hairy italian guy...LOLOLOLOLOLOL....oh my goodness....

Jabber...Too funny woman!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

I love this site!!!

Thanda? Pumpkin seeds? Which way do I turn? Actually, I'm with
gims; I've got better stuff to do with my time. If the response
isn't natural, who wants it? This has been a hoot to contemplate
however!

I love it when we hit on a subject and we all get on a roll and end up cracking up hysterically over everyone else's comments. Fun stuff!

Yes, you never know what you're going to find here.

if you plant pumpkin seeds, before ya know it, ya'll be birthin' a 25-lb. "baby." With vines.

No thanks.

One Aunts husband who thought he was a funny guy told me that if I did not blow my nose properly my head would fall off...even at a tender age I knew he walking talking rubish..so any subsequesnt thing he said I weighed up before believing him..wheras in my home truth was honoured and explainations given..Until this day I dislike when anyone is kidding a child..the word here is "blethering" children know when a fast one is being pulled.
By the way there was nothing wrong with my nose or my habits..honestly.

Bloviating? Or BSing? Whatever! Anne327, I just lost my appetite.
And I used to like spaghetti!

Spaghetti, worms, heads falling off, my Lord some folks have a sick sense of humor. Kids for the most part aren't stupid but it sounds like some lose ground as they age. LOL!!!

I heard the potato story before. A friend (who works in an ER) told it, and had us all in stitches.

Oprah should have that as a topic on her show. Women who put strange stuff in their va-jay-jays.

LMAO....

WW

Baked, fried and mashed. I do not do plugs.

Va-jay-jay? Think it's so cute when Oprah refers to it that
way!

Chelsea Lately the nightime TV host refers to the female anatomy as our gaslopis. Too funny!!!

About our libidos, my mother has used this saying since she was 88 years old..She says: her get up and go, got up and went! She is a trip!

Chelsea has a moderatelly dirty mouth and makes up many things, "gaslopis" being one she uses alot. I find it an appropriate word, funny and have used the word myself from time to time, getting strange looks from some.

Not to take away from this MOST INTERESTING discussion... BUT, wanted to let all know there is a 20% OFF offer for any product from Native Remedy - where you get the Thanda Passion Booster - use coupon code winter20p... I'd be interested to know if it works...

If I don't reply...it's working.

OMG, she sounds like a hoot! What channel? BBC? I'll try to catch her over the holidays!

I need something to KILL my libido, until I find that right....person.

Time will kill it 4 U, there Alice in Wonderland!

Dare I use the word vibrator on this site? Some women living alone swear by them Alice, so I'm told.

Chatty,
I've heard that same rumor.

I believe in either married sex or no sex, but thats just me.
I am too old and closer than before to meeting my maker to take chances just for a roll in the hay, as they say!

I don't live alone and I swear by them.

It's been 6 years, and the libido hasn't slowed a nano second. As for "assistants"====major turnoff, unfortunally.

I use something like the real thing, but with no batteries, lights or music, LOl, LOL

Tried those.........ick

Me too, I prefer a good night's sleep. Sorry, you can't enter Heaven with plastic!

God and His Angels of Prosperity & Finance!

Once in heaven that will be all we ever need, ever again.

Amen!

If they could make a toy like the real thing.....but.....hard plastic? WHO came up with that idea. Anyway, what my "personal assistant" as I like to call it.....is rubber and looks like the real thing (no batteries, etc....)

If you want a good laugh; I put it in the microwave once (hurry up_ and it melted a big hole in it. Still usable. LOL, LOL

Alice,
I've seen what U R talking about. They do look real. My ex
got one from somewhere, years and years ago. Don't know what
happened to that thing or him for that matter!

Got it many years ago, when I did NOT need it, LOL, LOL

Probably it was the result of some dude's wishful thinking!

Ha,Ha, Anne! Of course you are RIGHT!!

Yes, I've had a low libido for the last three years. Menopause plays a part, but I also believe the lack of communication and intimacy in my marriage is also a contributing factor. My husband is close to 58 years of age and still has a high sex drive, and expressed to me that he needs sex two to three times per week, thus I'm engaging in sex but I'm not getting much out of it. We've been to counselling; read numerous books and attended a marriage conference but this issue remains the same.
He and I are not on the same page when it comes to intimacy.

Anne-MarieH, from all I have heard here in the forum, and read and heard when writing an advice column in Chicago and here in Vegas, men and women never seem to be on the same page where intimacy is involved. It's just the way it is and I don't see it changing any time soon, it is a problem as old as DIRT!!!

Thank-you for your insight and I tend to agree with you.

Our pastor gave my husband, The Love Dare book. It's supposed to be a forty day journey where one spouse gradually reconnects with the other. Well, my husband chose to read it all in a few sessions, then passed it on to me. In my husband's mind, if I had a sex drive, we wouldn't be having experiencing all these problems. He just doesn't understand how I feel and I doubt he ever will. Thank God for girlfriends; they know the desires of my heart and are always there to listen.

Bless those women that have great intimacy with their partners. I hope they cherish what they have and never take it for granted.

Anne-MarieH....Unless there is emotional intimacy...physical intimacy doesn't work. I assume you told your husband that.....If it is part of the menopause thing, you could see a doctor for a physical, etc.

My libido is still on "kill"----at age 63 and years beyond menopause, but no one to share that with. It is excruciating for me; I am a huggy-kissy, touchy feeling, highly sexual woman and I miss that. I hope and pray every day for God to send me a husband.

If I don't have sex soon, I might melt, LOL, LOL

Hi Alice,

Yes, I agree with you. I've been to my doctor about this and I've talked to my husband about my feelings. We've read books and seen counsellors but not much has changed in the intimacy department.

I hope God soon answers your prayers and sends you a wonderful husband to love and fulfull your sexual desires.

I have a friend who claims if the Lord made anything better than sex, He must have kept it for himself. LOL

I wonder how many husbands and wives would honestly admit after they've been married for a long time, their sexual desire for each other, isn't as feverish as it was when they first met? I think women are more lovey-dovey than men. WB is especially
non-affectionate. He's quiet and completely non-loving. But he's
faithful and a stay at home kind of guy. So IMO U can't have
everything. I simply do not believe couples married a long time
intertwine 5 nights a week. Nope! Do not believe it!

I would so rather have a good loyal husband, than some sexed up wanderer. Jabber it sounds like you've got one of the good guys. You might try asking nicely for what you'd like, a back rub, foot rub, a hug, even a kiss.
Most women,me included would say; "if he doesn't do it on his own, well, I'm not going to beg!" I felt that way too until my grandmother said, men aren't ever as affectionate as we are and need to be led just like little kids. Ask and you shall receive and after awhile he might think to do some of that stuff on his own. Kudos to him for being content to be home with the woman in his life...that is a very important plus.

Has anyone tried to take viagra? I wonder what would happen?
A stiff neck?

I suppose they could take viagra and eztenze and get a long, stiff neck...My bad?

chatty, I like the way your grandmother thought. I believe in asking for what I want.

Never tried viagra. Who knows, maybe you'd get a stiff leg?

You gals are funny! Stiff neck? As Chatty would say, my Aunt
Fanny! LOL... Well I'm a bit independent too. So, I guess that
doesn't create a very affectionate twosome. But I'm going to
try to be more loving and see what happens. I'll report back
after a while and let ya know!

Well it's been awhile, so how's that workin for ya Jabber??? As Dr. Phil might ask...

OMG..the stiff neck comment is so funny...I am laughing out loud here!!!

What amazes me nowadays is what is seen on prime time TV. Extenze to make his 'short comings' longer, or Viagra to make them firm and longer lasting, oh and the latest two men hooking up, holding hands walking off into the sunset.

Then there is the lubrication for men and women, and they show them in bed before, and then after the deed is done, all disheveled and looking (stupid) satisfied. Plus every kind of feminine product from lub, to a vibrating finger gadget and all types of birth control. One thing they seem to have forgotten with the women are two holding hands walking off into the sunset.

Does anyone remember when none of this was permitted? Heck, you couldn't even show an add for feminine napkins on TV back then.

What is the world coming too? Do we really need to see all this crap in adds on television? I think not!!!

Chatty..I LOVE your profile picture!!!! Avatar or whatever it´s called nowadays over there!

But honey..think of everything that is on the net nowadays..I mean there are no limits anymore..and the "young generation" has access to it anytime..

My experience is that they seem to have a much more laid back attitude towards sex..AND this can also help in making sex much better because they talk about it..tell eachother what they need..because it´s kind of, well..natural..not mystical anymore..but it can be OH SO GOOD!!!! Because both get room to make it good for eachother..you know: "No, don´t do it this way..I need it there..softer..gentler..OK..YES..now yo got it!!!!" I mean..why not make it better if you can? Our generation has had our kids..most of us..and we have the time and space to make it good..with time. And when we do..it can be darn mystical,too

reporting from Sweden..can´t help this pun..but I AM reporting from Sweden!!

Chatty..your logo is so beautiful.. I mean your thought that follows comes at the end of your posts

Sex nowadays is like eating a good meal. For many young people the daily bombardment on this subject has taken the romance out of sex, and has made it even … mechanical. Your correct, Humlan, “there aren’t any limits anymore”, but that certainly doesn’t make it right.

Most of us come from the hippy generation where free love was advocated. We were quite laid back without sex being constantly blasted at us from MTV, television shows, movies, lyrics and commercials. It used to be cool to interpret what the lyrics were. That isn’t necessary today,…it’s all laid out for you in every detail.

I preferred it the way it used to be. Even some childrens’ shows here are more than vulgar.
If my stomach turns at some shows, or I feel embarrassed watching a family program with my kids, it’s my instincts that are talking. And isn’t instinct a natural way to protect our children and grandchildren? Oh yes, I truly trust my instincts, more than any desperate ordinary advertising campaigns.