Annoying Habit of Friends....

Ok ladies, here’s a situation I run across with some frequency.

I often go to lunch with friends. I always make sure to have enough cash on hand, with plenty of ones (so I’m ready to handle the tip).

On more than one occasion, after I’ve looked at the bill and put my money down, a “lunch buddy” will either use the pot of money that has been collected to “make change” for a bigger bill so he/she can pay the bill, or (even worse) pick up the entire pile of cash and say “I’m going to put this on my card, I need the frequent flyer miles,” or “I’m short on cash so I’m putting it on the card.” Usually my request to split the bill is waved aside.

Anyway, when that happens, I am never sure how much tip the waiter is getting. I figure what I want to leave (usually 20%, or more if we’ve occupied the table for a long while). And I don’t like it when somebody else takes it upon themselves to “take care of things.” It’s gotten to the point that I will only “lay down” the exact amount of my meal plus tax, then either hand the waiter my tip personally or go back to the table and leave it after we get up to leave.

How do others handle such situations?

In another situation, I go to lunch weekly with a guy-friend from work. Somehow over time, we have gotten in the habit of "one week I pay, next week he pays." I think that came about because he was short one week so I paid. The next week he said "it's my turn."

Anyway, lately we always go to the same pizza place. I get one slice of pizza and water. He gets two slices of pizza and a soft drink, making his bill more than double mine. I suppose I'm just going to have to sound like a cheapskate and tell him "we need to go back to dutch treat," because I'm tired of getting the short end of that deal.

Thanks for letting me whine!

Whirlwind

Whirlwind

Whirlwind, this is one area where I've mellowed. I just do whatever the crowd wants to do and as a result, usually pay more than my share. It's easy when I'm with the girls, but when we go out with couples, we often over pay because we don't drink as much as others.

Usually when I go out to dinner with the girls, we alol put in our food amount and trhen add a couple bucks each for the tip. That works outr fine...

Sometimes one person wants to pay, like Dancing Dolphin did in Vegas, then the rest just throw in for the tip...

Whirlwind, if your lunch partner isn't gentleman enough to say, hey yours is always less than mine, then you need to speak up...

I always do the driving. So I'm using my gas too.

I hate to sound stingy, because I'm not. But we're all single. The others have more money problems than I do, but then I live in a much cheaper house and drive an old car, whereas they spend their money on big mortgages and car payments. I just feel like I always do "more" than my fair share and wanted to grumble about it for a minute.

Thanks for listening!

Whirlwind

I see your point...
Before putting money out/down, can it be decided how it will be taken care of. Then, if your friend(s) want to use a credit card, you can say, "you do that and I'll catch the table." When we dine with family or friends, this is what we do... if one insists on paying the food bill, the other is responsible for the table. It has worked for us over the years.
My DH's older brother, who's always had a better income than my DH and me, together, likes to drink with his meals. We're light drinkers, if we drink at all. Even for the actual meal drink, I have water. Anyway, we got into the habit of having separate bills for food and drink. It often ticks our waiters, but most allow it.

Dotsie, we're the same way. Dan will have a glass of wine or two, but I don't drink; often our friends will have multiple margaritas. Normally the wives look at the bill, figure a rough estimate of our tab, then throw in some extra for a tip. If we try to pin it down to the actual cent, it gets annoying and your night ends on a frustrating note. So far, I don't think we've been taken advantage of. And I think our waiters usually get a good tip, because we all tend to throw in a bit more.

**Except for when I go with my mom, who rarely leaves a decent tip. I always have to go back and leave more money.

Whirlwind, before eating pizza out with your friend, how about if you say something like, "Maybe should should just get back to paying our own way." I bet he'll say, "Okay" and that will be the end of that.

You shouldn't be paying for his extra slice all the time. You could go out another day a week if you weren't paying for him, or you could save the money.

DD, some fancy drinks cost as much as a meal.