Am I a horrible person?

I need to ask this question because I'm feeling like I'm very ungrateful.

My husband's father asked to come for a visit and said he'd like to bring his 8 yr old granddaughter with. (We haven't had kids that young around for 10 yrs or more) We figured we could handle it for a week.

We said yes, and scheduled a time. They drove down and showed up on the day they said they'd arrive.

I expected them to stay a week, and there was talk of staying a week and then heading back up north. (we live in Florida)

However, that week and has come and gone and I'm ready to have my house back to myself. There is no talk now of WHEN they're leaving. Not even a guestimation anymore. In a couple more days it'll be 2 weeks.

My FIL brought 2 computers with him and all his software expecting my husband to fix his computers for him. They've been working on them every night but there are some serious viruses on them that have corrupted the computers. Now, my FIL is looking for a new computer. He says if he mail orders it he'll have it shipped to our house and he'll stay to get it. The one he wants at Best Buy is out and they think they'll get another shipment on Saturday. He wants to stay and wait.

My husband has given up his work time at home and our time together to help is dad with these computers. We have no alone time together except at bedtime.

Today, my FIL brings me the newspaper with a ad for repossessed cars and asks me about the dealership. I told him I don't know their reputation. He has been calling them looking for a specific car. Now I ask you. He drove a car down. How is he going to get another car back?

We are entertained out.. especially trying to keep an 8 yr old busy. We've run through the movies, games, and coloring books.

I had plans this weekend to re-organize my office, but I can't do it because it's set up as a guestroom right now.

I really need my space and am feeling extremely claustrophobic. I can't even get my mail or newspaper on my own anymore. They beat me to it every day.

Now, my FIL is so bored that he's wandering around the house looking for things to fix. He spent 3 days on the towel rod in the bathroom. Now he's trimming back palm trees in my yard. I appreciate the jobs getting done, but not at the expense of losing our privacy.

Don't you think it's a little rude to just go to someone's house and not even ask how long is appropriate to stay?

Am I just being a total whiner and should I just suck it up? (I'm not the only one feeling like this, my husband is too.)

[ December 10, 2004, 12:34 PM: Message edited by: Vicki M. Taylor ]

Oh Vicki. What a total mess for you.

Several things pop in my mind. First of all, why is the 8 year old not in school and where are her parents??? Surely they want her home already.

And I'm also wondering if your FIL is lonely this time of year and doesn't want to go home for the holidays?

What does hubby say about all this? Is he ready for the visit to be over as well?

I wish I had some advice for you. Ann Landers I'm not. I do think you and hubby should plan an evening out, without your guests to catch a breather. Tell them politely that the two of you need some husband-wife time so you'll be out for the evening. Maybe FIL will get the hint that he's cramping your style.

The child is homeschooled and brought homework with her.

Yes, my husband is feeling the same way I am. He is ready for the visit to be over as well.

The problem with finding any time alone is my FIL corrals my husband as soon as he gets home from work and keeps him occupied until it's bed time. Finding anytime to be alone has been hard.

With this weekend coming up, possibly we can find some time to be alone together away from the house.

As for being lonely for the holidays, FIL has plenty of family around him. He lives next door to his daughter and grandchildren.

Uh Oh, Vicki - I wouldn't want to be in your shoes.

This is awful. It's rude!

Here are my thoughts (I'm suspicious by nature, so bear with me)

1. Why is grandpa and granddaughter on this trip alone? Is something going on at home that's unpleasant and FIL is trying to keep the girl away from it?
2. Is he planning on moving down there with the girl?
3. What does the family at home have to say?
4. Wouldn't the parents want their daughter home-two weeks is a long time for a kid to be away fromn parents.

Dian, all good questions. However, I haven't been able to deduce anything out of the ordinary. Except that they're here and don't have any current plans to go back home.

The little girl's mother calls every night, sometimes twice a day. I'm sure they miss each other terribly.

anybody who's been there long enough to do laundry twice has been there long enough.

Wouldn't you say?

Way too long.

Guest are like fish...after three days, they both stink...

JJ

Something about this isn't right. It isn't settling right in my mind. Maybe you should call the girl's mother yourself and see? Better to be on the safe side, you know?

I agree with Dianne, something here doesn't feel right to me. Now you say you have no time alone with your husband, the old man doesn't follow you two into bed does he? Tell your husband that his daddy has been here long enough and he needs to tell him nicely if possible it's time to leave. You could say you have people coming to stay for the holidays, not true but at this point who cares????

The poor kid is so homesick. She misses her mom a lot. I feel sorry for her. She's so sad after her nightly phone call.

My FIL is a very stubborn man and when he gets something in his head, he has tunnel vision and nothing else matters. He doesn't even see how homesick his granddaughter is.

He wants a computer, he wants to buy it here, so my husband can install stuff on it, then he can take it back with him and he's not leaving until he does. That's that. Ugh! We've been to Best Buy twice in 2 days, but he hasn't purchased a computer yet. I THINK, (I won't say assume) that he'll purchase one tomorrow. FIL is waiting on the next shipment (tonight) into Best Buy. If the computer he wants isn't on the shipment then he'll buy the next model up.

Have you ever heard of someone doing such a thing? I haven't. It amazes me every time he comes to visit that he brings his computers .. yes, I said computers ... two.. with him and just expects my husband to work on them for him the whole time he is down here. And, it's not simple work either. They're bad. Totally screwed up. So bad this time, my husband won't even work on them. (But this was after a week of trying to fix them) He told him to pitch them and buy a new computer.

No, he doesn't follow us into bed .. so we have some alone time there, but it's not much. And, how alone can you really feel when you know you have other people in the house, eh?

It wouldn't be so bad if I went to work everyday and had some change ... but I work at home and my entire routine has been interrupted for the last 12 days.

I realize I'm ranting now and I appreciate the forum to do so.

My husband and I are both of the same mind and hubby will talk to him tomorrow.

Thank goodness there is no drinking involved here.

Just a lot of inconsideration.

happy days... our houseguests left early this morning.

Finally.

Hubby had a talk with his father and convinced him that waiting for his computer was not a good idea. They ordered it online and had it shipped to FIL's address. Hubby then burned all the program install CD's he'd need and gave them to FIL with instructions on how to install.

Thank you to everyone for letting me whine and complain on here. It really helped me to vent constructively without blowing up at home.