Thicker than water

I don't know where to post this. I have a question and it's: Do I have a right to have my feelings hurt?

My SIL is a fun person. Makes me laugh, we always have a good time. I call her once a week to check in with her, etc. I took her to Paris last Summer, etc.

Now, I met my husband in AZ on T-Day and we spent the night at her house. She told my husband, "Make sure you sleep on the right side of the bed or you'll be hanging on all night to keep from falling out of the bed." And, she was right because after she warned him, I had to sleep on the left side of the bed and it was a night I'd like to forget!

This hurt my feelings that she so clearly showed that blood is indeed thicker than water. My husband rarely calls her and has even gone into her city and not called her while there. I have been the one who remembers her birthday and all those other family things.

Am I being hysterical? Am I overreacting because I've always been treated like an outsider by my stepsons? Is this just a spillover from that?

She knew I was upset (I told her so!) and she's mentioned it a couple of times since then. I'm blunt and I'm honest and I told her how disappointed I was in her that she'd turn against her own gender that easily. Also, maybe the dirty sock I put on her face the next morning while she was sleeping gave her a clue? Ya think?

This seems so trivial. I know, compared to some of your real problems this must seem like fluff but maybe I need to stop reaching out to people that have let me know I just ain't part of the family, as in blood!

Hate to say this, but the more I read about your husband's side of the family, the more I think you're trying to turn a sow's ear into a silk purse. You're looking for acceptance and consideration where there isn't any. It doesn't matter how nice you are to them, they will always be uncaring jerks. Find your friends elsewhere.

Dianne, I think you know the right answer here and are hoping against all hope that maybe things will change, they won't, never do. I would find my friends elsewhere and that slug your married too is NOT a man, no real man lets his wife be treated badly by his family. He shows her respect in all things and he expects, NO insists that they do the same....Maybe after Christmas you need to "exchange" the whole bunch of them.

Dianne,
I guess I'm the only blonde in the house here because I don't know what that means? Make sure you sleep on the rights side of the bed and all that???? What the heck does it mean? I'm not ignoring your question, I was just hoping somebody would ask it before me...

Bama Blonde, JJ

jawjaw, I'm with you. Another dizzy dame here. "Splain" please.

Dianne, you mentioned that you are blunt and honest. That could be one of the problems with you and your hubby. I think he's the opposite. For some reason he likes to hedge so he doesn't meet with confrontation. You don't care if there's a confrontation if it gets everything out in the open and dealt with. Then you carry on. He has a hard time managing issues in a healthy way. What do you think?

I think you're right. I can't make him or any member of his family be something or someone they aren't. And, I've happily given them over to God and I'm turning lose. I think that is where my stress comes from...waiting and hoping for a change. I'm going to go on with my life and do what makes me happy (writing) and let what happens, happen. Actually, I'm kind of excited to see what God is going to do!

JJ: Sleep on the right side of the bed as in, left-right. She knew which side of the bed was bad and she was sure right on that!

Dianne, I posted a reply on your "help me understand post"

Don't consider it as bowing down. Consider it as bowing up.