unwelcomed guest

I have a backyard with blackberry bushes. They have been blooming all month. I pick them as does my Mom. There are more than enough for us. There is an older man that I've spoken to before who likes to pick them. They are on both sides of the fence so he does not really need to come in my yard but he does. On occasion I said it was ok but also said I like to pick them too. (meaning go ahead but save some fore me) There are bushes all over the place at the parks, etc. so he really doesn't need to come to my house.

He knocks on my door alot asking if he can pick them. This week I am taking off work but normally my kids during the summer are home alone so I don't want this guy around. He seems harmless enough but kind of weird, you never know. The other day when I went out to my car he was behind the bush and said something to me startling me. I did not appreciate him lurking behind my bushes.

Today when I was home during the day he kept knocking on the door. I did not answer but saw him through the window. He left, then came back again knocking on the door. I find him a pest. He has picked more than enough blackberries and I want him to stop coming over.

I don't want to be mean, but I don't want to answer my door all the time, nor do I want him in my yard anymore.
Any suggestions?
Kate

That sounds spooky to me as well, Kate. But then again, I'm very cautious since I live alone. I'm grateful for Trixie's company and protection.

What a pest, too. Constantly knocking and disturbing you. I think I would have to try the honest approach first so that you would "make it clear" that his constant appearance in the yard is getting on your nerves. No, I didn't mean to say exactly THAT to him, but that you really wish he wouldn't come over so often that you have things to do in the house and sometimes, your napping or on the phone. His constant knocking is disturbing you. And maybe leave it at that. If you're honest, then you don't have to be coming up with new things to say to him all the time.

I have also found that cooling the "hi neighbor" and friendly waves, etc...can sometimes help them to "get it." You know?

Yes, I don't want to be mean to him as he is an elderly gent. I have no idea where he lives though and only see him when he is hovering around my yard.

If it continues when the blackberry season ends I will definitely say something to him. For now I will continue to ignore the door.
Kate

Good gosh...I thought he was a neighbor. You don't even know where he lives? Geeish...I know I would be cautious, to say the least.

Wow Kate, I would tell this man that your Blueberry Patch is officially closed for the season...and that he must not come through the fence or knock on your door because "your husband" sleeps during the day and gets cranky when he is disturbed...please be very careful...you might even ask yourlocal police officer to just "drive by" sometime when he is there...you can't be too careful.

I thought he lived behind you so I was also surprised to hear you don't know where he lives.

I like Blondi's approach. If you sorta make a little joke out of it by saying, "The blackberry patch is closed for the season" he may get the message. And what a great idea to make reference to a man living in the house.

Or, could you post a little sign stating no trespassing?

It occurs to me that he may just be lonely and looking for friendship. Is this possible? I am not saying that YOU should become his friend, but perhaps he is harmless. Just a different way to look at the situation.

Yes, he may be lonely, or addicted to free blackberries:-)
For me I don't mind too much, except for the door knocking.

I worry about him knocking on the door when my kids are home and I am not. I can take care of myself but I don't like people hanging around lonely or not when I am not home so I don't want to encourage him.

We'll see how it goes. (I was molested by a very nice lonely old man when I was a kid so my antenna is always up)
Kate

Dotsie the sign sounds brilliant.Then even if he asks again you could say Yes I keep strict bounderies.
Could you get a male family member or friend to say that you keep a no canvassing etc policy and politly tell the man not to call.You need not give any reasons.
Most of the problems I encounter have been about personal bounderies..
Today an aquaintance asked me how I was after my hospital op.She knew from my absence at church.I said I was recovering well.She then ask what was it I had done...that her friend who was a pharmacist would be interested.(I have never met this friend who was waiting in her car)The fct I was in the womens' hospital tells it was "down below"but no this woman wanted details..She did however ask me to lunch.I just cant wait girls!!!
Mountain ash

Katebecca, next time this interloper shows up just pick up the phone and dial 911. Its their job to send troublesome people on their way. Let him find someones elses bush to pick from...Be safe rather than sorry. My male friend is a Homocide Detetive here in Vegas and he says we would have fewer dead women if they followed their first instincts when sensing someone or something wasn't quite right. My Uncle in Indiana also a detective has said the same thing for years.

Interesting that Ann327 felt the mans personal bounderies were significant.
I would like opinions about personal bounderies.Especially that we all reside in different places.
EG when meeting the kiss of welcome.A French friend does this twice (on each cheek)wheras is Scotland New Year was the only time I saw this wehn growing up.
With more travel and relocation we must have changed a bit.
I tried to teach sp. ed. students about bounderies.They can fuzz up what is acceptable.
What is the norm where you live...
NMountain ash

Test!! the final one.

They do have those "No soliciting" signs that to me means generally "no uninvited people" ~ subtle way ~ I too thought he was your neighbor ~ If it were me, I would call the police ~ maybe he has wandered away from his home and someone is looking for him ~ Do be careful ~ Hugs and Namaste

Katebecca, I worry for you regarding this man! I can't imagine why he would be bothering you for any good reason! He is harrassing you and not being able to open one's door for even a few moments is like being held hostage! I'd do what chatty says and 911 him just that fast! He clearly worries you or you would not mention him and would not mind opening your door! Try to be safe and give him the message very clear, to get lost!
How is it now?
dancer9

Kate, I understand your concern and appreciate you're radar (intuition), which is usually a caution predictor. I've a neighbor similar, a widower who likes to put his hands on women and make inappropriate comments towards them when he is unwelcome. Thus, I've learned not to 'invite' him, for instance when he is nearby I act as if I don't see him and become occupied, walk the other way when approaches on street, or any other public area. You see, his wife's death was ruled 'accidental' and for some unknown reason to me, he was not awarded the insurance policy of which he had increased a few weeks before the 'accident.'

Kate, it simply may also be innocent, yet I do understand the nuissance. Do you have a dog?

I have a dog but she is no watch dog, barks and then hides under the bed:-)

Alas, the blackberries are drying up and he is no where around.

I think he got the message the last time he came to the door. He kept knocking and I ignored him. He knew I was in the house. I haven't seen him since then.

I think he is just an annoying person from the area looking for free berries although they are everywhere around here.

Next year I will put up a private property sign.

Thanks for your suggestions.
Kate

Sounds good.

Mountain, have you had that lunch yet? I can hardly wait to hear what else she asks.

We don't have hospitals for women only. At least I don't think we do. That's a great concept.

This is the whining zone right....Waaahhh, I have a very bad cold and just feel really yucky! Guess that's a good excuse to visit the forum and be lazy tonight.

I hope you feel better very soon!
dancer9

Oh gerrbeck, I too hope your cold passes soon. There is something worse about a summer cold, doesn't seem natural to me and I am always sicker with one, than one in the winter months. Stay warm, rested and fluids, lots of fluids.

Thanks for the nice words dance and chatty. I am feeling a lot better today, still have some sinus congestion, but getting better every day. My son and husband have it now, so stocking up on the tissues.