long winter nights

I agree Dotsie; winter nights can be awfully long.
I found writing is a great way to spend my time…and then sometimes the nights aren't long enough. Same thing happens when I paint.
Usually during the week, Hubby and I go to movies or the theatre. Sometimes on weekends we get together with friends or family.
What's missing in my life is charity work. I used to work at Mass. General Hospital in Boston in pediatrics. I entertained the little patients there with puppet shows, reading to them and painting with them. I loved doing that. I know as soon as I retire, I will want to get involved in some kind of volunteer work again.
I don't watch much TV and my husband does (especially sport shows). Therefore we don't sit together evenings. But we do a lot of sports together and we love to travel. Actually the older we get, the earlier we go to bed and the earlier we get up. So we've turned into day people anyway, which automatically shortens the nights.

Crossword puzzles keep me very busy. Reading as well, but like you say...one can read only so much.

I work until after dark since my soap-making shop is next to the house....work until i drop since i love it so much!

Take a nice, long, hot bath too.

Can you find a friend you can visit to play some scrabble (NOT the on line kind!) When my Dad used to work nights and the four of us kids were in bed, Mom had a neighbor to play Scrabble or cards with. I wish i had a friend to play with.

DH and i play Cribbage sometimes three times/day. Why not take it up? It's addictive AND very good for keeping the brain thinking/active.

Thanks for all your thoughts and ideas. This is great. You've given me lots to think about.

JJ, your idea of cleaning out closets and getting organized is exactly what I planned to do once the kids left, but I can't do that since the surgery. This will change. I really want to have the house in tip-top shape when the kids come home for Thanksgiving. I think that's a good goal so that should keep me busy in a couple weeks.

Hannelore, I also want to give back a little. My husband is a mentor for a little boy at a local orphanage so I'm considering that, but it must be done during the day. My free time is really at night and they don't want you visiting the kids at night because it interferes with dinner, homework and their evening routines.

I do some of the things you all suggested already. I guess what I'm trying to do is find some balance. It's fun to be home some nights, but I don't want to be in Sun. through Thursday night. Part of this also has to do with the fact that I have a home office so I am not out and about during the day. One can only stay in so much.

We always get out on the weekend, either alone or with family and friends, or we have people here. I am a people person. Can you tell?

I guess what I'm learning in this empty nest is the fact that it's okay to relax. I'm learning to like it actually. Last night I watched an entire college football game with Ross. This is a first. Of course it was my son's college team that was playing so it added some interest.Usually, Ross and the kids would watch while I scampered about doing what I wanted to do. Now I like to keep him company.

If any of you have other thoughts, keep them coming. I'll let you know what I decide.

Dotsie, do you like board games! Puzzles! While visiting my grandparents this past summer in OK, my niece and I learned a new dominoes game - 'Chicken Foot' which is a real hoot.

During the cold winter, I like to order the Spring garden catalogs and plan (actually dream!) for the new season, nonetheless I find it enjoyable.

Its strange but single people spend time differently than the married people do at night. Been both and when married I devoted my evenings to my husband and his likes mostly. When he was happy, so was I. Since being single now which seems like forever, I love working at night. MY imagination kicks into high gear then and sometimes I can write until dawn. I also like to read the manuscripts I am working on at night. The only down side to that is if I happen to be working on one that is scary and really graphic I have nightmares. But that is a positive too because if it can give me nightmares, I know the readers of the finished product (book) will feel the same emotional excitements.... So you see, it matters whether you're single and have only yourself to please, or are married and trying to please and be pleased by your spouse. Which ever it is, just relax and go with the flow, life is too short to sweat the small stuff.

Chatty, such lovely insight and observant regarding married v. single. So true, more time for ourselves than catering to another. I look forward to your books! Although I cannot stomach scary/gory movies lately, a book in contrast I can b/c one can simply put it down and come back to it later!

You're right, Chatty. Singlehood has that advantage when it comes to long winter nights and one is still up. My ex treated sleep as a sacred thing and was a very light sleeper that any pottering around the house at bedtime greatly bothered him. So even when I was sleepless, I would lay awake at night itching to do things or even listen to music, which if I really pushed for it, I had to do with headphones on.

Yee Gads, Lola!! Thank God for being single and FREE to live life on our own terms.

mustang, when the kids were little, we definitely played more cards and board games in the winter. Ross isn't a big game player so I don't think I'll be playing board games too much in my empty nest.

chatty, you bring up a great point. Ross and I definitely consider one another when it comes to doing things any time of the night or day. We like to make sure the other is comfortable doing something should we choose to do anything without one antoher. Make sense?

Absolutely Dotsie, makes perfect sense and just one of the reasons the two of you have such a wonderful relationship.

I agree Chatty. It takes that very special mixture of respect, consideration and love to have that kind of perfect marriage. That love you have Dotsie, emanates right through your posts.

Dotsie, it's a sign of a great marriage, when a couple has given each other the right to have differing interests. I once knew a man who told his wife, 'I want you to be interested in only that in which I'm interested', now you know that marriage was doomed!

An empty nest just gives a couple the luxury of more time to indulge in their shared, and individual interests, and pastimes, and the time to develop new ones. It really can be a fantastic time of life.

Interesting that Chatty made the connection between how we act married vs single. It's true though. My husband was always locked in his office in the evenings and I got into the habit of waiting in front of the TV with a book for him to come out so I could spend a bit of time with him.

I used to get so frustrated that I was spending my life waiting to live it with him. Now that I am single, I am gone most evenings, working or to church. If I am at home I try to work some, cook something to eat, do laundry, clean a bit, read, but I still spend too much time in front of TV. I guess so many years has developed a nasty habit.

I need projects, but have little ambition these days. So much of my creative energy is going into working 2 jobs. The house I'm renting is small and there's little area to spread out a project and leave it sit between work sessions. I have a tiffany lamp that has scenes on it that got broken in a move. I want to take it apart and frame each scene seperately to give as gifts. But, I need a large area to take it apart without the dog walking in bits of broken glass etc. I thought I would do it in the shed, but the weather has turned too quickly to work on it this fall.

starting over, oh my. I have a hard time with women living in the shadows of their men. It drives me crazy. I want to tell them to get a life. Sorry. I don't mean to sound harsh, but why should we sit around and wait for them?

Your project sounds like such a good one. Do you have a board you could use to do the project? Then maybe you could slide it under a bed when not working on it?

Hannelore, thanks for the kind comment. I'm touched.

Jeanine, I'm with you on your comment. I'm enjoying the empty nest more now that I can get around a little bit. My knee is healing.

Starting over, I made the comment because I have lived it. I have been single, married, widowed, married, divorced and widowed, married again and now divorced. There is a huge difference between single and married and our actions during those times. I thought the differences were worth mentioning and am not quite sure why you think it is 'interesting' that I am the one mentioining it.

I just meant that it wasn't a connection I had made in my mind, but I realized after reading it that I have lived 2 different ways--married vs single. I'm sorry, I hope I didn't hurt your feelings in some way...I was only acknowledging who the original writer was and the revelation of your statement.

No problem, was just wondering. It is an amazing concept to me that some don't see that we live totally different, single versus married.

It's hard for me to see it because I've been married for 27 years.