OMG!!!!!!!!!

Did anyone see the adorable, funny Saundra Bullock accepting her Golden Globe and then her Academy Award and how she gushed over her husband Jesse James???? Well it seems the A-hole cheated on her with some skanky, tatoo covered hag recently. Can you believe that? I am actually shocked and dismayed and feel so bad for what she has to be going through right now, she was soooo in love with this jackass. What is with these stupid, uncaring losers??? Oh well, but he said he was sorry!!!!!

Every single time you turn around, someone's cheating. I'm so sick of it. Who cares! Keep your personal business to yourself. None of this does anything good for the institution of marriage except to say, you can cheat, be forgiven, and go on.

Cannot stand cheating spouses. Why bother getting married, if
you're going to cheat? Stay single and sleep around, if that's
what you want. But why get married? It just cheapens the institution of marriage! IMO!

Poor Sandy - I know his sorry look b/c I saw it in my husband. The oh shiza what have I done but I'm gonna deny it b/c she's a great gal and I goofed look. Yeah, seen that.

Cheating is wrong. Many politicians and those with in positions of authority cheat - gosh our nation was created by cheating men. I do care - cheaters make decisions based upon their infidelity that affect others (spouse, family, children, religeon, business, politics, enconomy, etc.). Why enable infidelity? I have no regard for those with low ethics.

I bet her fan base increased even more: She moved out shortly from the house she shared with him.

Good for her.

Poor Sandy...What is wrong with these men? He didn't deserve her..I hope she gets out of that marriage fast and never looks back!!

The horrible part of it all besides his being unfaithful was that she was at home and got a 'heads up' call from as friend saying that a major news outlet was about to release the story to the public. They said she was not just shocked, she never suspected a thing, was devastated and left the home they shared immediately. No one knows where she is.

You know when one of our husbands cheat its unfortunate and unforgiving but with someone like Saundra Bullocks husband cheats on her, the humiliation of it goes out across the wires world wide. And you know they'll keep it going as long as it's news.

This will sound stupid but it is meant to be a medifore... I believe the only way to keep men faithful is to make it a criminal offense to cheat, punishable by death!
Thats what I said, after all look at all he is killing by his faithless behavior. Oh, and when they pull the switch, his whore or whores, need to be sitting on his lap!! The woman who knows he is married, is as guilty or even guiltier than the cheating dog of a man...

Chatty,
I agree, wholeheartedly. A little blonde, who knew my 1st husband
was married, broke up our home. My son was young at the time.
And nobody wins in these garbage situations. Any woman who chases a married man, is rotten, IMO. And I'm with you: she should be sitting on his lap when they throw the switch!

I'm saddened to hear about Sandra Bullock as well, mostly, I suspect, because she's so down-to-earth. As depressing as these stories are, though, I think we need to remember that just as many women as men probably ought to have warning signs on them. We do terrible things as well. Plenty of women cheat on their husbands. There are even a lot of men raising children who aren't theirs biologically; I suspect a number of them suspect what has happened but are saints who are not going to take it out on a little kid.

There are way too many men who are willing to abandon their wives and families. But there are women who 'oops' their husbands or boyfriends, deciding that what they want is more important and the guy will just have to be stuck with paying childcare. I'm having a really hard time seeing women as a group as more caring or moral than men. Sure, I know women who got dumped, but I know men in the same boat. It's not all one way.

And I don't happen to believe that people who get involved with married men are worse; they're both behaving badly. We all have temptations and we all have the responsibility to do the right thing. It's not ok to steal things if no one is watching. It's not ok to complain that you couldn't help yourself. Grownups do not offer excuses for their bad behavior.

Back to the topic, Sandra is a smart, wealthy woman. I hope and trust that she'll do what's best for herself. This cannot be any easier for her than it is for anyone else. I *do* think any personal business that becomes public must be that much more difficult to deal with.

Myself, like maybe some folks here, probably don't belong in social circles where there have been 1-2 women who were sexually unfaithful in their marriages. So it might give us the blinkered viewpoint.

I'm reminded of this when I hear side stories of strangers..
But there is a whole subculture of women friends who are far more flamboyant / lasseiz-faire in their sexual relationships with men ..and they talk about it amongst one another.

In ways, for eavesdropper like me, is totally foreign.

Foreign to me too, orchid, but I know it goes on, just not in my circles. I remember a woman who worked in a professional office. The boss was good looking and happily married. I heard that one of the women that worked there wanted to tempt him for fun, just to see if she could get him to cheat. How sick is that?

People, men and women, are becoming more selfish all the time. It's pathetic. I know it isn't this easy, but don't get married if you want to run around. Or, get divorced then run around.

WOW...I'm almost afraid to come in here. This may be a HUGE mistake - to wander in here and offer my two cents....but I'm feeling brave today so here goes :

What I'm hearing here is a bunch of anger, and I'm sure that's warranted - but I don't think anyone has mentioned the sanctity of working it out. Granted, not everyone wants to do that, but my belief is (and it's aside from "marriage" as an institution) that when things happen, and when things happen that hurt us to our very core, there is much work to understand what it is that we're supposed to learn from it. I don't think it's as simple as the overt circumstances, but more the things that lie deep within us. I am of the opinion that if we really think, we can find ways to make things work for us. They (Sandra Bullock and Jesse James) could find a way to make this work for them, if she can forgive this intense betrayal, and if he can figure out how to make amends to a person who truly seems to be something akin to an angel. Obviously we don't know how these people live their lives anymore than I know how the rest of you live your lives, but it's not just some "a-hole" cheating on his perfect wife. It's two people in pain living under a bug-glass. I think that it's very sad and very reckless to sum up what we decide in speculation, on something we have no first hand knowledge of. And really, even if I HAD first hand knowledge, it would be very reckless indeed to hash it around.

The tongue, a tiny member that can produce havoc and destroy everything in it's midst.

Just a thought. Don't hit me.

Kate

Don't disagree with the idea of a couple trying for counselling, etc. DreamerKate. AGree that we have no idea of Jesse's and Bullock's real personalities at home.

But each person in the relationship must want to change and work actively in partnership for that change when sexual infidelity has occurred.

Otherwise it ends up 1 person HOPING the other person will change permanently.

I read both individuals in their relationship as having strong personalities. He seems incredibly "dumb", airheaded just based on the comments he said publicly and saying 'sorry'. Yea right. Sure.

Dotsie mentioned about some people who curiously 'bait' infidelity or flirt. I truly don't understand men or women who 'flirt' when they already are coupled with a partner. It's just foreign to me. I interpet flirting under those circumstances as insecurity of the flirter who needs some sort of validation.

When men wink at me (this has happened several times to me in my last job), I just respond as if I didn't notice or nonplussed and just carry along what I'm saying with a straight face. I was a manager in a job, for cryin' out loud.

Then they realize they shouldn't have done it to me. So it never happens again. Good.

Why in the heck, do some coupled guys/women flirt? To gain favour with someone else?

orchid,
I don't know why folks' flirt when they're already married.
But horsing around destroys many lives and IMO nobody has a
right to ruin another person's life and happiness.

I assume people flirt for the same reasons married women wear low-cut tops or men do their hair and clothes just so: to get some attention and a bit of thrill. Both of those reasons don't necessarily mean anything sneaky. It could be anything from just being extra-friendly and liking to show off to actually trolling for another person. You never know.

A lot of people, especially women, grow up with the idea that their self-worth is significantly tied to male attention, and they mourn the loss of said attention as they get older. Men do too, but women are encouraged to make a lifetime out of hair care, makeup, clothing, personal maintenance, etc. -- nearly all of it tied to validation from not just men but also other women.

I think when people might be feeling a bit low or lonely it's a charge to be noticed by someone else. Sometimes that notice and the opportunities it might present go too far, of course. I think a *lot* of this has to do with growing older and wanting to feel that someone else still finds you attractive. For some folks, though, that's just the way they are: they flirt with nearly everyone. I don't really get it either but am not in other people's heads. Joking and a little teasing, yes. Flirting -- well, I think people would just laugh at me!

Right U R. There's harmless flirting and not so harmless
flirting, I suppose. Some folks just like people. And that's cool.