Hi Tootie,
I don't have any personal caregiving experience, although I do talk weekly with my mother, who is coping with handling her husband's dementia. (So far, he can still live at home and he's still at the point where he tries to cover for his mental lapses.)
And I also talk with my daughter, who keeps me up to date on the situation with my former mother-in-law. The other day, she told me that "Marie" has three questions she is always asking, and about a 10 second attention span. She'll ask a question, await your response, and once you give it, she immediately asks it again...in an infinite loop!
My daughter isn't a caregiver for her grandmother, but she stays in touch with her cousins, who live in the same town, and are tasked with this thankless job.
(Grandma B. refuses to move out of her home, so she lives there alone and the (very adult) grandkids come in weekly to do their assigned tasks: take her to appointments, clean her house, bring in food for her, pay her bills, etc.)
Yours is such an important question, especially since dementia is poised to become the defining disease of the Baby Boomer generation.
You probably know the statistics, an estimated 5.4 million Americans have Alzheimer's or similar dementias and is the sixth leading killer at this point. As we Boomers age, these numbers are only going to get higher.
There's some help available online, at places like
the National Institute on Aging At this point, with your father gone, it seems to me that you can best help yourself by taking small steps: Make sure you are eating a healthy diet that provides energy - even if this means signing up for one of those diet plans that delivers food to your door.
Make sure you get out of the house once a day - even if all you do is walk around the block. The exercise will be good for building your concentration and focus.
Find someone to talk to. Maybe a neighbor who can accompany you on the walks. Having a walking partner will help reinforce the habit of getting out of the house and getting some fresh air and exercise.
Try to follow good sleep hygiene -- sleep an a darkened room that's set to a comfortable temperature and with as few distractions in it as possible. Get yourself to bed at the same time each night, etc. Don't consume anything with caffeine in at after Noon. Try not to take any sleep meds. Even if you don't sleep at first, developing all of these habits will help encourage your sleep.
Beyond this, read some of the blogs that are written for caretakers. They always have other good ideas to help you cope and get yourself back to your former healthy self.
But, Tootie, I don't have all the answers. As I said, I don't have personal experience with this. But others here do, and I am sure they will reply as well.
