Ohhhhh my gawd! You all are just TOOOO much. I haven't been on these boards in awhile, and after laughing hysterically all night reading your posts, I am gonna change THAT! Thanks for the laugh of the day!
I can't compete with what ya all came up with, but I do recall that I was introduced by a well-meaning friend who said "blind dates aren't all bad," to a large fella....when I asked what his name was, my pal sheepishly told me it was "Lumpy."
Will be back soon....thanks again you funny folks!