NewLeaf,
I don't understand women willing to do a one-night stand, in this day and age. AIDS wasn't even on the radar screen, when I was young. But that's a scary possibility. Why would anyone chance it????
Sorry, I don't get it. Life is too short to go that route.

Shows like Sex In The City and Friends have promoted the "normalcy" of one night stands and treated them like, "oh gee, there's soomeone in my bed. Slap my hand or hush my mouth and call me silly."

Premarital sex is treated like brushing your teeth or relieving your bladder. Sorry, why isn't there a reality show about the man or woman who is too drunk to wear the condom or about the couple who leaves the bar and goes to the doctor for an aids check prior to jumping in bed, or about the wife at home whose heart is broken and her small children are hanging onto her asking why mommy is crying?
Or, about the girl in the doctor's office with her legs spread wide and her feet in stirrups hearing the suctioning of her baby out of her womb.
No, we just blithely go about wondering who our next conquest will be and if our nails look alright.

Some of the men I've recently dated don't expect it on the first date, but they do expect it by the 3rd or 4th. I want to know someone better than 3 or 4 dates. In fact, I won't sleep with anyone unless he's my husband. If you do it with an unknown person, you can not only get a disease, you are likely to get a broken heart. Plus you have to live with the fact that you gave yourself to someone unworthy.

I have two sons. When they were dating it never ceased to amaze me how the girls had no pride at all. Our phone didn't stop ringing. It got so bad, that my sons asked me to filter out their calls. Later they both told me how many of these young women wanted to just sleep with them!!!

As it turned out, my youngest son married a woman that held out on him almost 6 months. And my oldest son is engaged to a young lady who never had a boyfriend before him. I guess that says it all.

I'm sorry ladies, but after reading these posts, I am so glad I'm married. I'm not waving this in your faces, but I want you to know you have my compassion for having to put up with the craziness that goes with dating these days.

The most sexually satisfying encounter is with someone of like mind who "knows" you. Someone who had taken the time to study you and know what mekes you tick. Anything else is just tire changing and not deep and abiding.
I take my time and study the one I'm feeling a love connection with. If we can sustain a loving relationship throught life's trials...then we can make it in the long haul.

My husband may be a $@#*%...but he has taken the time and interest to know me. He probably knows me better then anyone else I know.
I know him too. It amazes both of us on how many levels we connect..how much we will tolerate and how much we are willing to give to our relationship to make it work.

I agree with everyone....in a perfect world...but sometimes it feels good to just have a go at it. Yes, precautions are always necessary, and no, unwanted pregnancy is no longer a worry. But, not every man I date is a potential husband, and yet, in some deep, dark, primal area of my brain, they still look damn good. And, since my 54 yo body can still respond like a 25 yo when it sees something it really really likes, I won't play a game. I believe in honesty (to myself and others) and in wallowing in the warm damp of the moment. If my "date" is on the same page, why not just enjoy the experience.

I completely understand, Gabrielle, but this may sound archaic, every time you have sex with another person outside of marriage, you are joining yourself to that person as if you were in a marriage relationship with them.

Each time you give yourself to that person there is less of you to give to the right man someday when and if you find him, and even if that is something that interests you.

Burger King mentality is great except when it applies to your sacred body and that of another person. I feel like I have some responsibility to my fellow "man" to love him/her enough not to mar or sulley them. If they're going to be sullied, don't let me be the perpetrator.

Wow. I had the "right" man. He died suddenly 6 years ago. I don't feel as though I'm "marring" or "sulleying" anyone, and definately not myself. I suppose you could look at having sex only for procreation purposes, but that would mean most of the women on this site should no longer have sex.....what a shame. And how many women, some on this site I'm sure, have sex inside a marriage only because it is expected of them. That's not any better than having it outside of marriage when you don't want to. That's definately not treating your body as "sacred". And that "sullies" us. I believe that sharing something God gave us with someone who we enjoy being with,and who enjoys being with us, is a blessing. Life is a series of wonderful moments interrupted by a few bad ones. Good sex with someone I care for makes for an incredibly wonderful series of moments. Not everything is a Thanksgiving dinner. Sometimes Burger King tastes darn good.