I'm back....after sipping a delicious rose' wine underneath the stars, at a Italien Cafe' right on the edge of the largest lake in Europe; Bodensee. And I didn't miss HIM for a minute.

But you are probably right Kate. I'm surprised myself that I'm feeling so happy,...you noticed TCV?..I'm sure a crash will come...after all we have 32 years under our belts.

I know some women regret later that they have separated from their husbands,...so although this may come over lightly, I'm trying to weigh all the pros and cons, taking one step at a time.

I called him to tell him I'm not coming home. Oh man did he ever say the wrong things; telling me to apologize immediately for my irrational behavior. Can you believe it? MY irrational behavior?

I just want to tell you that all your posts launched a tsunami in me.I sure hope those waves of tears won't short curcuit this hotel computer. I need to check in in the morning.
Goodnight my friends
Hannelore

Hannelore, It takes guts to do what you're doing and I admire you for taking these steps.

When I left 'he' said, "Don't think you're ever coming home again!" Duh...."I didn't leave to come back MR!" Second call was "PLEASE come home!" Yeah.....sure.

He disrespected me on the day of my Mother's funeral and I never looked back. I haven't given him a second thought since unless it is to post here.

Hannelore, I am telling you, if you are happier being away from him, spread your wings and fly. You are quite capable of looking after "YOU" You'll be just fine.

You have my support 100% in this.


You go girl!
If it sounds like I am encouraging you, well yes I am.

Glad to hear that you are in good spirits. I think it may not be as difficult for you as there are no kids to take care of, not to make light of it.
I found this part the worst, the extra burden, although my ex did not help me out much anyway. I had no money, he didn't help me in that department (until the courts stepped in) but my freedom was worth it.
I think the grief comes from ending it. Now matter how hard it is to live with them, letting go and realizing that our lives together are no more was difficult for me. Loss is loss, whether you know it's the right thing or not.
For now, just enjoy the fact that you are having some peace. Sounds like your husband is not accepting this very well and he won't get it until some time passes.
I hope you keep posting. There are so many smart and caring women here that will support you in this journey, including me:-)

Kate

Hannelore
keep a brave heart my dear.
Mountain ash

Sleep tight Hannalore,
We'll be here to listen in the morning!

Angelika, Dear friend, you and I have spoken of this problem many times before privately, and apparently all the things you have tried have failed. That says it ALL! He is stuborn, mean spirited and unwilling to change, even to be kind for the time your wonderful mother has left on this earth and especially when you said all she has ever shown to him was love and kindness as if he were her own son. His behavior was unthinkable and I for one think he needed a wake up call. If you're leaving doesn't change his attitude then so long as your mother is alive, stay apart. Stay with your mom if thats an option, and you can finally have all the quality time you want together, without his badgering and bullying you about it.

He is such a good husband in all other ways as you have said, and that makes this such an unnecessary and evil situation. BUT, like a mouse in a maze he needs to learn the acceptable course and follow it. Love you as always, hang tight, stay firm!
Chats

Hannelore,
A new day is dawning on your brand new life. Congratulations! You will be fine, I know it. I separated from my hub 10 or so years ago - just couldn't stand his arrogant, obstinant, pig headed, self righteous attitude any longer, so I know how you feel. I haven't looked back and nor will you. I believe everyones human right is to be treated with dignity and respect. You certainly don't deserve the treatment he handed out, nobody does. Enjoy your new found freedom and rejoice in your courage, bravery amd foresight. It's not easy sometimes, so give yourself a big pat on the back. We're here for you. Love to your Mum.

You do sound happy! Someday, I will tell you the tadpole story - it was the end of one thing and the beginning of my life, as I know it now.

You are a smart woman, kind and loving. You will know what is right. Be true to yourself, from this day forward, and all your decisions will be the right ones.

I look forward to the day we hug in person. Love you!

wow that was a change, surprised me as much as it sounds as if it surprised you.

so far so good in relation to how you feel. Play it by ear (is that a saying their?) take it dailie and make your desisions dailie, listen to your hart and your mind. What ever your desisions are or will be you know we will be heer for whatever it is you need.

sleep well tommorows a whole new world in some respects.

love celtic

Hannelore,
Wow! Big hugs! I agree with all who say that once you get past the "free at last" feelings, take some time to think through what you really want in life -- whether in or out of the marriage. And, make sure you don't give it all away financially, just to be free.

Hugs again,
Casey