Hannelore, you were the last one on my mind also before I went to sleep last night. Maybe your visit back home will be a pleasant one. Hopefully this is his wake up call. And remember, your winning entry showed all his good traits and why you love him and he loves you. That is not hypocritical at all. Love has bumps.

Keep us posted because we want to know how you are doing, sister.

Hannelore, you are such a bright light. I hope that your husband can recognize it and not dim it. And that you value your light enough to keep it shining, no matter what you have to do.

well we close to same time line you a hour behind or is that us....behind you.

Anyway i know its evening and you be home soon, i am thinking about you lots at this time hope it ok for you tonight.

Hannelore~~I've only been on this board a short time, but already I see what a sweet Lady you are. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Be good to yourself and do what makes you really Happy. I've spent alot of years being the pleasing wife, and only in the past couple of years have I found my own voice. I understand what you are going thru. Many Blessings to you Dear Lady.

Madalyn

How did the stop at home go for you, Hannelore?

I have thought about you often in the past few days. When you say you cry at least weekly it breaks my heart. You also say you have worked for five years to keep the marriage together. Has your husband worked at this, too, or just you alone? Relationships involve more than one person, and everyone involved needs to work together, and in the same direction, for the same purpose in order to make a difference.

Of course, you know this.

I have just been thinking about you so much and want to offer some comfort, some thoughts, some help. I wish I could be there to walk and talk with you.

I hope you have a peaceful visit home. No big blow-ups! Let us know how you are.

Dear Hannelore, I'm sorry you are going through this situation. Marraige should be about love and caring. There is no room for selfishness and that attitude, altough, sadly, it happens. Please take care of yourself and consider each decision. There are times when, couples need to separate to realize the situation at hand. It's important that you are safe and free to make the best decisions for yourself.
I'll be praying.

Hi gals…as the Stomach Turns…to be continued….

Hubby actually drove out to look for me. And if this isn't a coincidence, I was just about to leave the area when he turned in. There we were; his car in one direction and my car in the other, and he was crying.

I had to drive on, … the light changed, and he turned and followed me. We stopped at the next parking lot, and my big bully husband got out and cried on my shoulder.

Of course it melted my heart…I'm not made out of stone …but there was this feeling of coldness in me as well. I thought, … see buddy … now it's your turn to cry. How do you like it? Anyway he took me out to eat, neither of us had any appetite, and then I followed him home.

I made it clear that I think he needs help. And I made it clear if he doesn't get it, then we have to go out separate ways. Actually I feel totally drained, but at least we are undertaking something. I truly hope and pray the doctor will figure out why he is the way he is.

Gonna sleep in the boys room tonight. Just taking one step at a time. Thank you all for accompanying me in this emotional roller coaster ride. I don't know what I would have done without you.

Hi Madalyn and welcome to this stormy beginning. It's not always like this here. Thank you for all your prayers. I truly think they helped.

LOl, AS The Stomach Turns. I like that.

Hang in there Hannelore. Hold your ground. If he's making your life a living hell don't let him off just because he's had a few tears.

He needs counceling and possibly medication. It sounds like his behaviour may be linked to his retiring and the last chick leaving the nest. Some men lose it about that time.

Men who are depressed act differently then women. Instead of acting withdrawn and mopie they usually show anger and contempt for others. Sounds like depression to me.

There has to be a reason he doesn't like your family. Why does he see them as a threat? Is he insecure and thinks they take your time away from him?

Keep us posted.

Laurel

Hannalore,
Here is what I did before I left my husband. I did not want to break up my kids home or be hasty so I read this somewhere and it worked.
Keeping in mind that we cannot change anyone else, only ourselves, I gave myself 6 months.
I put 100% into my marriage. I was nice, complimentary, tried not to get mad at the smallest thing, was supportive etc. for six months. Then I revisited.
In my case I had to leave, the writing was on the wall. I had no guilt, no doubt. I had given it my all and it was clear that I had to leave.

Might be something for you to try. As we all know, living with another person, especially of the opposite sex is a real challenge. But if there is more bad than good it's not worth it to stay. Be careful though, sometimes we blame our spouse for everything, including our unhappiness. Our happiness is up to us.

I also did up a pro and con list before the six months and after. I always do this when confused about a decision.
If there are way more cons then pros, then you have your answer.

Hope this helps.
Kate