youve been on a rollercoster for quite a while, the hubbie at valentines...and everie couple of weeks hes hurting you potenciallie violent...constantlie abosive...throwing watches and rings at you....giving you ultimatoms..it was bad enough that a few weeks back before the trouble with the kids started that you were leaving him and had left him....before that it was about a mounth prierer he was aggressive and verging on violences in a hotel room you had booked for vaolentines day....
thats just the last lot of mounths with him and its been constant drama and caose...we just hear about it you live through it....then grandkids now this....

one question, do you need this?
what do you get out the marriage?
why do you return?
In your hart do you think he, his actions or the situasion will change?

The onlie power you have is over your self, never him. What are you willing and able to change about your own patterns of behaviour your own feelings and actions In order to stop him abousing you and to get you out of this pattern and keep you safe?....

i agree with the other women its just him manipulating you regarding the blood....if he is passing blood in urine urine then he is big enough to go hospital himself (and would)it might even just be a kidney infestion...Either actualitie its about drawing you close to him again, for control or power over you....dont let him do it to you again?..you can control that bit

good luck

It's his problem, not yours. If it were the other way around, would he help you? Doesn't sound like it to me. Don't waste your life on him. Why should this couple he lives with take care of his children? I didn't understand that. What were they doing while all this was going on. If I were them, I'd have thrown HIM out of my house. He's in someone else's home acting like this? You don't need this. I agree with the others. He's trying to control and manipulate you.

I'm in AZ on the dreaded laptop but my input: Let him bleed.

I had to leave work early last night and take Aaliyah to the ER. She started vomiting and diarrhea and as little as she is, they can go from bad to worse quickly so I took her and he text messaged me over and over and called over and over and I ignored them all. Finally I told him to leave me alone, I was having to leave work early.

He immediately thought I was just going "out" so he left me an insulting message saying "Oh, your precious grandaughter, but is she passing blood!!??". I lashed out and told him to FO I was taking Aaliyah to the hospital.

He wanted to know which one. I didn't answer and shut off my phone.

Not long after he showed up at the one we were at and there are several in the area. He reeked of alcohol and looked terrible. He tried to kiss me and made a scene in the er.
I told him to leave and he finally did.

I just can't take all this drama. I really can't. It's over. We were at the hospital from 9pm until 6am this morning. Fortunately Aaliyah will be alright and I didn't have to work today or tomorrow.

My daughter was just at fault in a three car pile up on I-4 and it was her fault. Now one of the other drivers has a doctor and a lawyer. All my tax refund money went into this car that my daughter wrecked. Now the insurance company is totalling it and paying it off with about $800 left over.

My husband wants to take the $800 because he is in financial trouble right now and says its all because if me and my family. Yawn...

I can't wait to be on my own and free from all this horrible drama and pressure. I want to work out and cook and go to concerts and go camping...why am I having to go through all this again and again???

Don't allow it to continue. Cut him off and stop it now. The more you respond to him, the more he'll keep it up. Don't give him a response. Keep your phone off, don't communicate with him except through your attorney.

There are certain steps you must take and you most likely know what they are, so take them... one at a time, but just do it!

I agree. Am I missing something here? Isn't this his grandchild too? You have to stop allowing him to do this to you. Why didn't they throw him out of the hospital if he was drunk and obnoxious? They should have. Let your lawyer handle him. It will only get worse. I don't mean to seem harsh, but you have to take care of yourself. Kathy's right. Do it. Before something worse happens.

NewLeaf~~I'm so sorry your going thru such a bad time. God Bless and I will pray that things get better. Stay strong. I'm new but see you've been thru some very bad times.

(((((Hugs)))) Madalyn

NewLeaf...sounds like an ex-husband of mine. Controlling, alcoholic, liar, manipulator and evil. When do you start divorce proceedings? Protect yourself and your grandchildren from this dangerous man. Life is too precious to put up with this person any longer. Reach for that inner strength we women have and stand strong. You must walk away from this for your own sanity and well being. Please, keep us informed on how you're doing.
Hugs and prayers
Dee

NewLeaf, you titled this "It's Officially Over". Now it is time to live that title.

You owe him nothing. Move on.

I'm taking the extra money from the car settlement and catching up on a few bills. I've found alternate, and good, child care.

To answer Louisa's question, the young couple living with my husband just sat there on the couch saying nothing, doing nothing. People here in my community know how he treats me and they know I've taken it and I'm still there. That fact alone is enough to spur me to take the initiative and leave him. Even his closest friends have said they don't know how I've stayed this long.

As most of you know, I have a lot of pride. My pride and self esteem have been almost irrepairably damaged. I loathe the person I become around him. This time it really IS over. I love him and I'm crazy for loving him, but I can't stand him if that makes any sense.

I really am filing for a divorce asap. I long to be free!! I'm so tired of always being afraid and hating who I've become. I am great with the gk's and my daughter but my daughters all see me still struggling in this relationship and they want me out.

MY dad had the audacity the other day when I called him just to talk to say that he didn't blame my husband for being so upset with me because when he married me he got all these problems with my daughter and my grandkids.

In the past I've told my mom and dad about the abuse of my first and second husbands and my mom has said, "Well honey, he makes a LOT of money and has a good reputation at his job and he's gone a lot." So I stayed for 21 years.

My dad says, "Well, what did you do to cause him to be so angry with you?" Its always my fault no matter what the circumstance.

Now, though, both mom and dad say to leave the marriage but just never date or marry anyone else again, ever. Usually they are pretty supportive but I have grown up thinking anything bad that happened to me must have been my fault for dressing too provacatively, or being too smart in school, or not being a good enough wife, or not setting a good example for my younger brothers and sister, or not being a good enough mother...whatever. So, naturally, I always assume anything bad that is happening to me must somehow be my fault and only I can become better or look prettier, or do something more or get a better job or more education or something...

I'm learning there are many things I can't do. I can't change who I am basically, I can change how I respond to circumstances and give myself a break once in a while.

I've related to some of you the story of the penny. While lonely and driving a semi all hours on a tight schedule, this particular day, parked in a lonely lot waiting to be unloaded, I decided to take a walk.

I was praying and asking God if he loved me. I felt that he did, but wanted some type of physical proof that he did every day, just a physical reminder. I looked down and in the middle of a manufacturing storage lot, found a bright shiny new penny. I felt like God told me that every day, every day of my life from that moment on, I would find a penny and when I did, it would serve as a reminder of God's infinite love for me and total acceptance.

Every day, every day, I have found a penny. Sometimes they are a little beat up, dirty, in mud or in strange places, just like me...but they are there. I pick them up and keep every one of them and treasure them.

The kids and I have a "vacation fund". Someday, when we have enough, I'm taking them on a Disney cruise. The jar is filling up with pennies.

I'm not so bad afterall, am I??