NewLeaf, my ex would also alienate me from friend(ships). Lately, I've not "fit into a church atmosphere anymore," yet I've begun attending a singles Bible study based upon "The Purpose Driven Life" at local Baptist Church. Although I've not yet attended a service, the singles are committed, both women and men of varying ages, and plan single activities and outreaches. We will soon purchase school supplies for children who don't have the funds for such -- it seems school supply costs have increased, and along with new clothes and shoes, having the appropriate and usefull school supplies the expenses are excessive for parents.

I joind a church 2 years ago and attended service and Bible study, yet the women (and men) were more interested in gossip than God's word. I'm learning to listen to God and appreciate closed doors.

Nuttin wrong w/ dreams! I believe your ex would criticize your dreams as a controll mechanism. Although not all dreams come to reality (it's OK to keep a few to yourself!), now you can put some dreams to work!

MustangGal, that's exactly what I'm looking for, a smaller group of intelligent people who are committed to learning ang growing and contributing, like the early church did in the New Testament. I'm not a corporate minded person and the corporate church just seems like an extension of my cubicle.

If my dreams ever die, so will I. I couldn't live without my creative dreams and hope. I hope to make my dreams a reality and that's what keeps me motivated and moving forward. My stbex would just say he was the only one with any common sense and that he had both feet firmly planted in reality. I would remind him that he could make all the plans and strive for routine and predictability all he wanted to but in one 24 hr. period of time it could all be over for him and his very life could be required of him.

(No wonder he was so enamored of me....lol)
I agree, when one door closes another better one opens. Life is exciting and wonderful with surprises around every turn.

I'm feeling frightened and a bit insecure today. My stbex told me last night he hoped I choked to death. I was having a coughing spell...allergies.

I sometimes had to talk to him about issues that I'm trying to resolve to get free...auto insurance etc.

For some reason, that really hurt. I can't tell him to discuss whatever issue he has with my lawyer because I don't have one.

Its scary to me to know, to really know that 3 1/2 years of a crazy/bizarre relationship is over. I don't think I love him anymore. He also called my daughter a fing piece of s&^%. Why would I let him or anyone else call my children and grandchildren names like that?

He doesn't love them. Bottom line. And if he doesn't love them, he doesn't love me because they are a part of my heart and soul.

I've never called his daughters pieces of s&*(...at least not to his face. His oldest just found out she is pregnant by a 20 yr. old black guy and she's 27 and already has two illegitimate children and lives with her mother.

His youngest daughter is sleeping with an Hispanic, married porter with 4 children who is 20 yrs. older than her. My stbex even let THAT piece sleep with his daughter in HIS house.

Ok, I think I just convinced myself to settle down and think with my mind instead of reacting with my heart. This horrible relationship was doomed from the start.

Newleaf, soon you will realize that all this drama caused by the stbex -- I know b/c once I realized how depleting the drama can be, mentally and physically, both of which waste my precious time. Soon, you'll feel the relief and more constructive time on your hands.

Newleaf, onward girl! How come you continue to see him? I think that as soon as that stops, you'll feel even better.

Newleaf my friend....Old saying.

Its better to have loved and lost,
than to live with the psycho the rest of your life...

and my personal favorite...

Women are like tea bags,
you never know how strong we are,
until we're in hot water!!

Dotsie, I totally agree with you. He calls and leaves threatening, then "I'm crippled" (which used to really tug at my heart), then insulting, and angry messages on my voicemail. I don't hate him. I still care for him and do want the best for him, but its over.

My grandson's father, the one who is about to go on trial for the accusation of sexual misconduct with my grandaughter, yeah, that one....just screamed at me for an hour right before I had to leave for work,,,threatening to kill my daughter for having "his son" around her boyfriend and to kill me or "whoever made this accusation in the first place." He blames everyone else for his trouble and says he has nothing to lose. I cried all the way to work.

I'm trying diligently to rid myself of all the people in my life who mistreat me, abuse me and hurt me and think they CAN for some reason.

Chatty, I had to share your words of wisdom with my coworkers who enjoyed them as much as me..lol thanks for the laugh.

Ladies, I'm starting a new life. I'm totally reinventing myself and everything around me from my body to my finances, to the people I surround myself with, even to changing my name.

I told my mom and dad about it and they didn't seem to mind too much. I'm keeping my maiden name but changing my first and last name. Its so cool, I used all the letters of all the names of the females in my family and came up with a powerful name for myself.

Oh, and the cutie, the young guy....I slipped him a note after he was waiting for me when I got off work the other night stating how my legs turned to mush when he was around and how he made me smile.....well, he is hiding from me now it seems....oh well.

If it didn't hurt so bad, I might be able to laugh about it.

Keep on Keeping on. YOu deserve the best. Find a young guy and screw him like they screw us. Power to women. Men are losers and cause wars and divorce and they suck!

So far Chatty is the smartest lady on this board. Love her! Her comments are for real and I like her honesty.