Want to talk to everyone and anyone who is over 50 and there husbands are bugging the heck out of them.

Huh?

yawn marriage....marriage yawn? What?

Turtle, please email me at dots@boomerwomenspeak.com and tell me what your survey is about. Thank you.

this is not a survey I guess I hit the wrong button. I just wanted to connect with women who are just as bored as me and want some help in feeling better

Ah, then welcome aboard. Feel free to post in any forum and let us get to know you. So your hubby's bugging the heck out of you? How long have you been married.

Welcome Turtle...we'll have you 'out of your shell' in no time! LOL! Good to see you.

Thank you Jane for the welcome you made me smile!

So my problem is my husband had an emotional affair with a co-worker. Has anyone heard of this? Romantic e-mails etc. He objects to the word affair but he has broken my heart. Turtle

I've heard of it, Turtle and I'm sorry this has happened to you! Have you spoken to your husband about it yet? How do you feel about it? I would be hurting if it were me. Again, I'm sorry!
dancer9

oh yes talked to hubby says it wasn't an affair even going to counseling. He doesn't even get it thinks yu have to have sex to have an affair. I am miserable been married 30 some years. where did you here about it? What can I do. Wrote her things that were so crossing the line. Nothing dirty just affectionate I miss you your my special angel etc. I am so depressed. A depressed turtle. How can you tell it a turtle is depressed? It doesn't come out of its shell. Sad turtle

Dancer9 thanks for understanding-it is painful and he is just not getting it!!!!

Have you spoken to the "other" woman. I friend of mine did that. She repeatedly asked the "other" women how would she feel if her husband did that to her. They ended up having a long talk, and the "other" woman began to like my friend and promised her she wouldn't keep up any more contact with her Hubby. She kept her word.
My friend also threatened to leave her Hubby if he ever contacts the woman again. That helped too.

Is he still having the affair? (and, it is an affair)

Here is a link to an article that lists the Seven Signs of Emotional Cheating. It is definitely considered an affair.

Since your hubby spoke with her online, maybe you could email him a few articles about emotional cheating. Just Google it and begin sending him the informaiton so he can get a different perspective on it...something that isn't coming out of your mouth...then maybe he'll believe that what he did was wrong. Just a thought.

I'm sorry you are dealing with this after all these years of marriage. Feel free to come here for support.

and turtle...take it s l o w... hopefully, time will heal these wounds.

I'm really sorry you're going through this. Betrayal is betrayal, sexual or not.

I called her up and told her what I felt and she went to my husband and told him "his wife thought they were having an affair". My husband told me that. This woman accepted gifts for her and her child(has a child out of wedlock) and lunches and her child called my husband uncle.

Over 30 years. I live in MD too. My husband changed who I was.

He says he doesn't see her anymore but she works in his building. He thinks it is not an affair. What can I do? He totally destroyed who I was and how I feel about him and he just wants to continue and I can't.

I do feel betrayed and want to get even with him. I keep bringing the issue up, look at phone records. I can't control my need to know things. I know its not normal or the right thing. We have been going to counseling and my counselor is 28 and oh forget it I am losing it.

turtle, it wouldn't be normal if you didn't investigate. Hey detective work is as normal for women, as burping is for men. Pry pry pry...and don't ever feel guilty about it...not for a minute! Your hubby forced you into this private eye work...it wasn't your choice.

Oh thanks so much Hannelore I feel better now about doing what I am doing. Thanks for making me feel better

Turtle,

This is a difficult situation to be in and it is hard to re-establish trust. Please be gentle with yourself but also give yourself time to heal before you take any actions. Be well.

Turtle,
The bastard is cheating in his mind and that can be just as devastating to you, his partner. Who knows when he will cheat for real, if he hasn't already?

My ex was a frequent visitor to the strip bars, we live in Vegas so sex runs rampant here. He use to say I'm just looking, not touching, yea right? How can any woman compete with these 18 to 20 year old naked, hard bodied sluts? I kicked him to the curb. Yours is cheating too and nyes become Sherlock Holmes if necessary, I did!!

If he can't (or won't) understand what he is doing is sooo wrong, then he needs to be set free, preferably in a vast of sulfuric acid. I hate cheaters, mental or otherwise, can you tell? Sorry for your problem, men are such junk yard dogs, some anyway!!!

What do you want, Turtle?

Ask him if he would like for his Mom or Dad to read the emails. Nuff said.

I want the husband I used to have but I don't what do I do? He still feels he didn't have an affair because he didn't do anything physical. I cannot get it through to him.