I understand what you are saying Edelweiss and thank you for that.
The problem is I don't know how to let him go, basically I can't.
I have tried and this usually means stopping myself from thinking about him for a while but it never works.
I am going to go to a support group next week. They meet on Monday nights. I have gone before but need to go again. They work on separating ourselves from the addict. Loving them from afar but setting up some boundaries. As I said before, I think it's time for me to do this again for myself and my other children.