I rent my house from a friend. She bugged me for two years to move in as former tenants were wrecking the place. She gave me a break on the rent so after much bugging I gave in.

I didn't jump on it right away because it's not a great idea to rent a house from a friend. The first day I moved in I tried to mow the lawn but the lawnmower was broken. I called her and she basically said maybe your younger son was fooling around and broke it. Oh Oh, I wished I had of stayed where I was.

Well things have gone along ok, but she is having the house appraised as she is broke. She has bought too many properties using the equity in this house (it's a greatly overvalued market here) and her credit cards are maxed.

So, she is getting the house appraised again so she can borrow more money. That's her problem.

My problem is she called me tonight at 9pm and told me the appraisers are coming at 5pm tomorrow.

Well, I work all day and my house is a mess. I've got teens, their rooms are messy and I have laundry piled up in the laundry room etc. etc.

I told her I don't have time to do too much cleaning tonight and I have to work all day tomorrow. She said " It has to be clean so it looks good. I need to get the maximum amount. She also said it's my job to keep the house up.

I am really upset and stressed now. She is the type that will say I've wrecked stuff I just know it. The fence is falling apart as they don't do anything around here. The place was damaged badly when I moved in. I do have a list of all the damages at the least so can pull that out if she tries to accuse me.

Oh, just a whine session. I really wish I didn't move in now. If she doesn't get the money (she is so over extended already) she will blame me.

I am going to tidy tonight but am not going to stay up all night. She is just not being fair, at least that is how I feel.
Kate

I know what teen's rooms can look like. She definitely should have given you more time. Is she coming with the appraisers? I hope not.

One day at a time there, dear Kate.

She sounds like the type who would blame you anyway, or anyone else but herself...good luck and I agree, she should have given you more time.

Yes, she is coming with the appraisers.
I was really upset and stressed last night but have calmed down today. It will be as clean as I can get it and with no notice she can't expect anymore (although she will) I'm just not going to sweat it.

I have this book that has really helped me a lot. It's called "you can't afford the luxury of a negative thought"

I think the author was on Oprah. It's a great book and he wrote it when he thought he had aids. It's for people with terminal illnesses, or as he explains the terminal illness called life :-)

I find just by reading this book every night it has helped me look at things in a much different light without my even noticing.

Really helped me this morning with my younger son as he struggles at school. This is his first year of high school and he suffers with ADD and extremely negative thinking. I calmly talked to him as he was going on and on about how everything sucks, how he is stupid etc.

I could have got all stressed by his attitude as he was late for school. Another time I might have told him to get to school but somehow managed to turn it around and he became quite calm. I drove him to school which gave us an opportunity to really talk. He was open to it. Sometimes teenagers act like they are so angry and they don't want to talk but they really do. Anyway, he agreed to go see the school counsellor. Whew!
Kate

kate, any news on the visit?

Also, I have several little books that sound like what you are using. However, mine share BIble verses by topic. I try to have a book in my purse at all times. They're good to read while waiting when traveling or at the doctors, etc. Mind over matter helps tremendously...especially when the mind is full of encouraging and loving thoughts.

Not much news. She did come to my office today and got me to sign another tenancy agreement. She loses everything and I guess lost the first one. She said she needs it for the mortgage broker. She is trying to get more money from the bank so she had the house I rent and her other house assessed so she can get more money. She has done this a few times now. She borrows money against the equity in her houses but she is going to get burned big time if she is not careful. The housing market is still hot in this part of the world but nothing lasts forever. Not much I can do about her situation though.
So in answer to your question, I think I'm ok for now.
Kate

I bet if she can't raise the money she says she needs, she'll want to raise the rent. Sounds like a good situation to back away from as soon as possibe. Also sounds like she doesn't have both oars in the water...

Chatty you sound spot on.
Best long term thing would be to look at other options. Imagine yourself in a new home where you feel secure.You are paying rent so does it matter to whom?
We all need the security of a roof over our head.
Glad that for now things are settled..
Mountian ash

A messy house doesn't affect the appraisal one bit.

My house wasn't too messy, just kids clothes all over the floor in their rooms so I told her all I had time for was to throw them in the closet and shut the door. I vacuumed and washed the floors so it was nice and clean. The appraiser mentioned to her how clean the house was which was nice, and may help down the road.

My landlady was a friend at one time but as Chatty so eloquently put it, she doesn't have both oars in the water.

She does not work and is a spendaholic. She spends to fill a void. I have been backing off from her for a while now, as I've noticed some concerning changes in her behaviour.

When I first moved in, against my better judgment the house was a disaster from the former tenants partying. I spent weeks cleaning and am concerned that when I move out she will accused me of wrecking it. It was the tenants from before I moved in that damaged all of the appliances etc. I have a list of damages and sent it to her by email when I moved in. It is a nice house other than that, and fairly new.

It was actually her husband’s house before she met him. He built it and paid it off and left it to his only daughter before he met my landlady. I just recently found out from her that she sued the daughter to get the house in her name and that started my backing off as I find this horrible. She wanted a bigger house so used the equity in the house I rent to buy a huge house. I actually don’t see her socially at all now and just see her to pay the rent. Her husband is 16 years older than her (in his 70’s) and not well. They have only been married for about 6 years and got married within a month of knowing each other. From the moment she moved in they have not shared a bedroom. Kind of weird and I guess she is a gold digger as far as I can tell. Now his daughter will get nothing.

I’m actually horrified by her behavior as she has spent vast amounts of money living on his pension taking all kinds of chances and owes over a million dollars buying property she can't afford and maxing out credit cards. Her husband told me once that she will go bankrupt one of these days but the gov’t can’t take his pension and he will just go into an old folks home and let her deal with the mess. She can’t get his pension if he dies because they married after he was 61.

As for me, I’ve been looking for a house but the rent would be $1700 to $2000, which she keeps reminding me about. I told her when I moved in that I could only afford $1200 so she said ok but put the rent up last year and I’m sure will do it again this year so I guess I better start looking in the spring. For the money the house I’m in now is a great value. I wouldn’t get a similar house elsewhere. I’m hoping the rates will drop so I can buy something next year. When I first moved here 18 years ago it was cheap, now things have gone crazy and a shack costs over $400,000.
Kate