Kate, what a great idea. It will help with your motivation and busyness is sometimes the best thing when our emotions are all over the place. Good for you! What better way to honor your Dad at his favorite time of year.....by sharing your home with others who hurt! He will be proud.

Kate, I just noticed this, too. My heart, and prayers, go out to you. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I have not been back at work yet, well for an hour yesterday but that is all.
Today it has been one week since my Dad passed.
Because I was home and watching TV I watched Oprah who I have not seen in a long time.
She had an author on who has written more than a few books but this one is called "For One More Day"
The question of guests was asked "If you could have just one more day with a loved one who would it be"
A very timely show for me.

The movie based on this book is on December 9th at 9pm on ABC.

Just wanted to share this as I know I am not the only one going through this.
Kate

Kate,I am so sorry for your loss. I was away with comp problems and was just logged in a few minutes ago. I know the heartache of losing a Dad. Please receive a hug and a prayer from this sister.
Your plan of inviting someone lonely is a great one. Please celebrate all the beauty of life and sharing.

My Dad did not leave anything, not sure if he left a will or not. I have told my parents for years that I do not want anything from them and I don't. My brother feels the same.

My Dad tied his business in with his mortgage and the lost their home which was a shame. My mother never forgave him for it and continued to bring it up to him over the years.

Problem. When my Dad's parents died he was left all kinds of antiques and paintings. I do not want anything but one painting that was in a photo of my Dads's parents in their living room. I want to at least keep it in the family. My Mom has no attachment to any of these paintings and wants to sell all of them.

The one I want was offered to my brother (who never visits) and he said he didn't want it. He doesn't care about art. Both my daughter and I like to paint.
Anyway, I mentioned to my Mom that I would like at least one painting and maybe the one she offered to my brother. She said, you move to much and wreck everything. When I was married my ex used to have temper tantrums and always damaged my things. Broke all my antiques etc. and a painting my Dad gave me (this was over 20 years ago) got damaged. I have not been married for over ten years but my Mom brings up that when I was married I moved all the time so she would rather sell the paintings to strangers.
I just want one for sentimental reasons, to have something from my Dads family.
I am very hurt by her comments. I do everything for them and have done everything my entire life. My brother basically does nothing and gets offered a painting.
Just a venting session and I don't want to start a war over this it's not worth it.
What do you think about this.
Kate

Hope you do get the painting as a valued memory memento of your father, Kate.

Has your daughter seen this painting that you wish to have? If she hasn't, bring her along to view the painting one more time.

You know your mother, ...sounds similar to mine, in some respects. I share your sighs of sheer frustration...

Kate, that is just plain unfair of your Mom. But sorry to say, that is the way it usually is. The faithful doting child is already there. It’s the child who seldom comes, or does next to nothing that has to be wooed and won over. It might sound harsh, but give your Mom a feeling that you are not her lady in waiting. She may appreciate you more.

Although I have a good relationship with my brother, I asked my mother to separate all her belongings in writing as to who gets what. She has taken photographs of her jewellery and labelled everything according to who gets it. I had no scruples encouraging her to do that.

Did you ever tell your father that you would want that picture? Did he say you should have it? If so tell that to your mother.

Is there any chance that your brother would accept the painting on your behalf and then "regift" it to you?

My brother lives in Texas. If he lived here he would do that I'm sure.
I'll offer to buy it from her but won't discuss it again. She has always been jealous of me and my relationship with my father as they did not get along. She resented my being closer to him and that is true. It is not that I loved him any more, it's that he was so easy going and she is difficult. I could never do anything right in her opinion and my Dad totally accepted me and loved me unconditionally.

I think she is sticking it to me as she has the type of personality that likes to get back at people. Very child like.
I won't go that route so will do what I can in a nice way and then will have to let it go.
Kate

She sounds like one of those people who always needs to have a scapegoat. Very difficult to deal with if you happen to be the scapegoat-de-jour. Especially during sad times like this. I'm praying that she'll have a moment of compassion and see that the painting rightfully belongs with you.