A lot of us are following this, Dancer. Sometimes I don't know what to say. There seems to be too much injustice. I mean, I could go on and on, like how dare the "authorities" allow him back into the house? I wonder if this is a candidate for CASA: Court Appointed Special Advocate. The CASA works entirely on the behalf of the child.

Princess Lenora, I thought of the same thing when I was done with the day. I thought "this girl needs her own attorney or a court appointed avocate," (as they call them here!)
dancer9

Dancer, I don't know about AZ, but in CO the advocates for the children are GAL Guardian Ad Litem or CASA. CASA is a national organization, but in different regions it has different names. Perhaps it would benefit her?

I'm going to look into it, Princess. She is in Virginia so I'll have to call there but I'll see if I can get it done!
Thanks
dancer9

She and the children need to leave immediately, the longer they stay in the situation, the longer it will take to recover. Also, the longer women stay in abusive situations, the less likely others will believe them (i.e., police). This is simply my opinion and I speak from experience having been in an abusive marriage. I only want for your SIL and children to be safe and happy (both mentally and physically).

She won't leave, Mustang. She has started to cover for him and pay for his attorney! She has even said that SHE' will protect her daughter from him! She won't let the authorities touch him!
dancer9

Dancer she can say all she wants on the subject but being a major part of the problem, head up her a//, so to speak, someone needs to drop a dime or two to the right authorities to protect these children. THEY are the innocents that must be protected here at all costs.
Anne, I doubt there is enough harshness available on the planet when innocent children are at risk.

Chatty. lovely Chatty, we do think alike!
We have contacted the STATE Child protection service office and reported all of this and we
wrote to their Senator and explained the whole situation and how the ball is being dropped on this girl and that she is slipping through the cracks.
I told the CPS institution that has the case that they could be legally libel if this girl is indeed, abused and they leave her in the situation. I pointed out the law that I was working on a long time ago that is now passed that says if you were abused and it was reported but it went unpunished or you were ignored, you can now sue years later. I told them that the little girl could have an attorney assigned to her case at any time in her young life and THEY would be libel for any abuse she suffered once they were alerted. They got real wiggly but I had to say it! I was SO upset about the ineptitude of this organization.
Chatty, we are SO Italian, you and I! Beware those who cross us!
dancer9

Anne,You are correct, in adding her husband, sheltering him, getting him a lawyer and telling the authorities that she would protect her daughter from further harm, she is libel. She could have come out with all she knew while alone at child protection and with him over night in jail. It would have put him in jail longer and resulted in charges being made by the D.A. She did not open up and she chose to protect him. This makes her culpable too and she will probably end up having charges.

I do not know what makes a mother sacrafice her children but my friends who are in the field of psychology have given me scenarios that make some sense. I can't accept that she would not choose her daughter's mind and bodies safety over her fear of her husband. Most women would stop that abuse and turn on their hubands at that point. Since I have know my husband all of my life and I know his sisters very well, it is like my own family and my own sister is sick and perverted. I can't forgive it.

The police tell us that they are having "domestic," calls about the family as of late so they are fighting. I hope this fighting results in her kicking him out of the home as all of the finances are HERS! She supports the entire family! She does have options! She could have refused him a lawyer, etc...

She breaks down on occasion and calls myself or her sister. When she does this, we find out about things like this I-phone having pornography on it. I hope she does this again so we can call the police AGAIN and get more charges! She goes back and forth on leaving him but there is more at stake now with the knowledge of the danger her daughters are in. (She has a 4 year old and a 1 year old daughter.)

The latest news is that she has talked her grown daughter, (age 17) into visiting her for the holidays by offering to buy her a car. This daughter is uncomfortable around her mother's husband and aware of the charges. We shall see what she can find out.

It's just such a tangled web we weave when we are like these people! I'm staying with it and hoping someone will start to unravel it!

Thank you,
dancer9

I am a CASA and a CASA cannot be appointed until the child is taken away. In my opinion, the children should be taken away NOW. Their mother has "failed to protect" and that is a crime. I happen to also have MS and yes, it sucks. Yes, it makes things more complicated. But you (meaning anyone) cannot let your empathy for her overshadow what's really going on. Children are being hurt. People know about it.

Dancer, make noise. It is the noisy bell ringing in the middle of town that gets EVERYONE's attention. Keep ringing it. And when you're tired of ringing it, ring it some more. Make noise and make more noise. It can't all be done from a distance. Never underestimate the power of personal contact.

Karen