Honestly, Anne, I doubt they'd listen then...they're too tunnel-visioned at that point. It is true that my husband cannot discuss or respond to anything else if he's in a project i.e. "I don't know...I'm not thinking about that right now"....weird. But I think some of it has to do with personality rather than gender. But there is a lot of evidence of how different women and men tend to use their brains. It's really interesting, although I wonder why it has to be so!

1. Does my husband listen to me?? Yes, he hears every last word I say, even if I'm 10 miles away, and remembers it ad infinitum and repeats it like a fripping parrot every time he wants to make a point about something, whether it's relevant or not. And usually it's not.

Meredith Solution #1: Do not speak to husband unless it's absolutely positively necessary. The rest of the time, let him rot in his room by himself.

2. Does he blame me for everything?? Yes, including things which I could not have known about, or done anything about even if I did know.

Meredith Solution #2: Agree with him whole-heartedly. Then proceed to blame myself for everything that's ever happened in our marriage, things that happened in his life before he met me, and global warming. This takes the sport out of it for him. Plus, by the time I've listed everything he wanted to, he sometimes forgets what the original complaint was. And if he remembers it and says it again, I just repeat the litany until he goes back to his room to sulk.

3. And while we're on the topic of "Annoying Husband Verbal Tricks," I'm married to one of the world's worst nags. Keep in mind -- if I say I'll do something, it's as good as chiseled in stone. So he'll ask me to do something -- and I'll say yes -- and two minutes later he asks again, and again, and again...

Meredith Solution #3: Three strikes, you're out. The third time Mr. Nag-athon opens his mouth, I tell him, "You're nagging me. If you nag me one more time, I will never ever, not in 2000 years, do this thing." He knows I mean it, and I never once backed down -- because once I've said something, it's as good as chiseled in stone.

Meredith All-Purpose Solution #4: when he gets annoying enough, I leave the house. Shortest amount of time: two hours. Longest amount of time: two weeks. When I get back, he's always so much nicer. Whatever.

Good lord...I'm so glad you don't write humor....You crack me up, Ms M.

I stopped crying about it years ago, and learned to laugh at the sheer idiocy.

My husband is aware that there are times he tunes me out, annoying you bet. But, occasionally He/I make it up to me. How?? I do or get something I WANT and when he objects, I look hurt & say,,"If you'd pay attention, we talked about this last week & you said it was fine with you", if he still objects, I get fussy and tell him "You even encouraged IT". It kind of eases the annoyance of being ignored. Bless his heart, by the time I'm done he's saying well it's done now & almost happy. I don't do it often, the last two times was for my dog a new bed & renewing my trial sub to XM radio in my car. OH that & my Donor Awareness license plate.
QBall

I think the comment about husbands who don't listen hit a nerve! Hot topic. We have a temperature/time gadget on the table that is between our recliners. We can both be sitting in our chairs, with the time gadget between us, and he will say, "What time is it?" I don't respond, at all. I grew up in a blame game household, so I understand what it is you are talking about. MH does not do that. But I did the first years of marriage. Whatever went wrong, it had to be somebody's fault. Let's say we ran out of milk. Let's say he sticks his head in the fridge and says, "We have no milk" and I would say, "That's because YOU drank it all." Doesn't matter that I used it on my cereal. One day he said to me: "Why does everything wrong happen to be somebody's fault. Sometimes, it is what it is." Great lesson for me! Meredith, I could not live with a nag. Actually I did in my first so-called marriage, and that nearly did me in! And, it's funny-weird that he remembers everything if it is convenient for him, because I know many men don't remember. However, MH for example can recite every lyric from every song of The Grateful Dead. He can retain and recite sports score infinitly. LJ, if I am in a project I can't turn to something else. Just now, he was entertained how a bottle of beer fit perfectly into a certain glass. He's sharing that brilliant piece of life-affirming information with me as I am trying to write a post. Plus, of course, the TV is on and the dryer is rattling. That's too much for my comprehension simultaneously.

Okay~ well, my husband listens because I am always UP to something! If he doesn't listen, something may HAPPEN! I am SO accident prone and my head is always in an art project that he has to watch me like a child he said once! My poor son agrees! They respect me when I am doing what I do, and they are great fans, but they say they don't know WHERE my ideas come from and that I don't concentrate on daily life well!
I have accidents that way! It's terrible. I've lived a life with someone taking care of the other side of things while I just created! I'm told the pay off is worth it, because I am a generous woman, but I'm a goof ball when it comes to one side of the brain.

Or, I was told many times that I am fun to watch. lol.

dancernine

Lynnie, he used to be a lot worse, until I learned to WALK.

"You want to fight? Fight with the wall, I'm outta here!"
"You're nagging, and I asked you not to. I'll come back in a few days and maybe it'll be out of your system by then. If not, I'm out the door again."

It's the most effective tool I have, although several friends have suggested contract murder.

I have no where to go but the guest room while we are having 5 inches of snow! By the way, does anyone want the aforementioned vintage Gucci purse? Dianne, queen of shoes, I'm sure you have some vintage Gucci footwear to go with. How did the seventies become vintage?

This is one of the worst problems in my married relationship. I've tried several ways of fixing it and haven't hit on the magic formula. Just the day before yesterday, I told him my chiro visit was postponed to 2:30. He said, "oh, okay," and went and sat back down (he was driving me). Then I roust about to leave about 2:00 ... he drives so fast, we got there at 2:05 and was a bit peeved when the "CLOSED" sign was in the window. I knew we were going to get there too early, but I let it happen to see what he'd say after I reminded him the appt. was at 2:30. I reminded him of this and he claimed I didn't tell him. Now... that's only one incident in a MILLION... and I'm not a jabber box either... I think that might be part of the problem - I don't DEMAND his attention enough.
Here's the other side of the coin... he'll tell me the same thing two or three times... and it never fails to shock me when I hear a story or comment for the third time.
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