Perhaps a bystander sees most of the game.It would be an idea to ask the poster.She could then bring a fresh idea.
Mountain ash

I don't think that the word oppression would be an accurate word to use for this group of women. I think that one of the realities of this type of community is that we are a large, diverse gathering of women who come here from such a diversity of backgrounds, with different needs and expectations, with unique areas of woundedness and sensitivities, and it's sometimes very difficult to determine people's sacred grounds, boundaries and tone of communication. We do overstep, but I would daresay it's rarely intentional, and we do hurt one another, but moreso (IMO) because we can't see the person's facial expressions or eyes or hear the inflections in the person's voice, so we're left to interpret the words through our own unique translation process - which is coloured and entrenched in our unique history, woundedness and experience.

This community could not possibly exist the way it does without forgiveness, and a willingness to listen and ask for clarification when we're unsure of exactly what's been said or why or in what tone of voice it's been said.

I think that most of the mistakes made here are unintentional, and due to a combination of mistrust/misinterpretation of the poster's tone and intention, unclear boundaries and the unique translation process that each one of us uses.

New people might be particularly vulnerable because there's a period of time when nobody knows how all three of those factors work - the new poster doesn't know the culture and general boundaries of the community and we don't know her's - until it's too late and someone has unknowingly already trespassed beyond that person's comfort zone.

It amazes me how well we do get along and how care-full we are in general to protect and uplift one another. Some do fall through the cracks, and each will have their own reasons for not staying...the reality is that we will never be able to be all that everyone needs us to be - we are all just ordinary women wrestling with the same daily struggle to make our way through to becoming the best we can be and bringing whatever tidbits of wisdom, encouragment, hope and support that we are capable of bringing to the table.

It simply won't be enough for some - for others it will be the bread of life.

the eloquence of our eagle xxoo

How long does it take you Eagle-heart to write this up after mulling over it..?

You continue to amaze to cut through the clutter of communicative labrinyths with such a deft hand. It's like seeing a sequoia tree in the middle of rainforest jungle so thick.

For these kinds of thread, and especially when speaking with someone who is deeply wounded, I stop, take a deep breath and pray before I write even one word.

Sometimes it takes a few minutes, sometimes it takes hours, sometimes I have to sleep on it. And sometimes words never do come, in which case I take that to mean that I'm not meant to respond.

My heart and soul are committed to upholding the goodness of this community and the dignity/well-being of each woman here. Sometimes the words come out jagged and/or the thought process comes out mangled because of whatever physical or emotional state I'm in (i.e., grief, fatigue, head-cold), but I can guarantee that 99.99% of the time, my response comes from a profound care, love and desire to help, nurture and encourage both the individual woman and the community at large.

Sharon
you would be the friend who would instinctivly know what to say when someone would visit with a problem.This is a gift.
I agree about body language being absent.
I do however treasure real life interaction.

I write of SISTERHOOD from my heart, now we hear of oppression, sorry but I don't see oppression here. No, we do not always agree with one another but try to be open in our dialogue with each other...

OPPRESSION: means to govern in a cruel or arbitrary way, or to weigh heavily upon...Nope, doesn't fit here at BWS at all!

No, Chatty, it doesn't. This whole thing has gotten blown way out of proportion. I do not see oppression here either. Never have. Like you said, we don't all always agree. I've seen some political indifferences and some heated conversations on different topics. But, I have never seen deliberate cruelty, or harassment of anyone. I think the person who posted the link on oppressed women is fairly new in here, read that one thread and took it the wrong way. I think she thought she was helping. If she reads further, I'm sure she will see what we see as well.

We are not a group of oppressed women. We're not cruel or mean spirited in here.

Amen