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#140856 - 02/04/08 02:05 PM Zen sarcasms
Cookie Offline
Member

Registered: 06/02/06
Posts: 753
Loc: USA
1. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me alone.

2. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt or a leaky tire.

3. It's always darkest before dawn, so if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper, that's the time to do it.

4. Don't be irreplaceable. If you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

5. Always remember that you're unique. Just like everyone else.

6. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.

7. If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

8. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

9. If at first you don't succeed......skydiving is not for you.

10. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

11. If you tell the truth, you don't have to remember anything.

12. Some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield.

13. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

14. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put back in your pocket

15. A closed mouth gathers no foot.

16. Duct tape is like 'The Force'. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.

17. There are two theories to arguing with a women - neither one works.

18. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your lips are moving.

19. Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

20. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

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#140857 - 02/04/08 03:27 PM Re: Zen sarcasms [Re: Cookie]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Cookie....how funny...especially #17!!! Thanks for the laugh. HUGS ALL AROUND!
_________________________
Dee
"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#140858 - 02/04/08 03:53 PM Re: Zen sarcasms [Re: Dee]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
I love #12 and #16. Ain't it so?


Edited by jawjaw (02/04/08 03:54 PM)

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#140859 - 02/04/08 04:09 PM Re: Zen sarcasms [Re: jawjaw]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
Hahahahahaha! Love Nr. 9 and 20!

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#140860 - 02/05/08 03:43 AM Re: Zen sarcasms [Re: Edelweiss]
Princess Lenora Offline
Member

Registered: 11/11/04
Posts: 3503
Loc: Colorado
20. Yeah right. These r funny!

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#140861 - 02/05/08 08:58 AM Re: Zen sarcasms [Re: Princess Lenora]
diamond50 Offline
Member

Registered: 01/10/06
Posts: 992
Loc: Honolulu, Hawaii
LOL!!! LOL!!!

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