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#14301 - 03/27/06 07:07 PM
Almost lost friend Saturday Night!
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Member
Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
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My husband and I join a young couple for a fine dining night out once a month. We had reservations at a very nice restaurant but had to cancel them because I couldn't make it home from work in time. Instead, we went to Olive Garden with them.
Immediately when I got in the car with them, I sensed something almost tangible, something bad, something dark. We drove to the restaurant and we all ordered our drinks, now this 26 yr. old guy and his 24 yr. old girlfriend love to drink but he only ordered a glass of wine and she ordered a Root beer.
We chatted and my husband, of course, drank one glass after the other and finally ordered a whole huge bottle. I can't explain why, but I looked over at Nick and asked, "Why did you have blood work done, Nick?" He looked at me with dark rings around his eyes and said, "What makes you think I had blood work done?" I told him I just knew. They all think I'm a bit weird anyway so that didn't amaze them all that much.
Then his girlfriend, a recent graduate of Stetson University, said, "Nick almost died last night." She told how he stopped breathing and his eyes rolled back in his head. She couldn't get a pulse but she had taken pain pills also and wasn't much help.
She tried cpr and slapping him in the face but no response. The building maintenance man's girlfriend who is a registered nurse came in, took his pulse and there was none, she called 911 and administered cpr to him until they arrived. He had to be put in the tub of water at the hospital and basically overdosed himself to near death.
They were both shaken and looked lost. I had the opportunity to tell Nick that God had a purpose for his life or he WOULD have died, that the registered nurse didn't just happen to be there. I told him we didn't want to lose him, that we want to go to their wedding someday.
Here's the kicker, my husband has been giving him pain pills he gets from the VA for his "disability". If Nick had died, it would have been in part my husband's fault. My husband scolded Nick for not calling him because, as he put it, "I could have talked you out of it." How the hell do you talk someone out of dying of an overdose??!!
What a loser!!
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#14302 - 03/27/06 07:22 PM
Re: Almost lost friend Saturday Night!
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Member
Registered: 01/24/05
Posts: 1550
Loc: Colorado
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Oh number5,
What a story - what a miracle!
Danita
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#14306 - 03/28/06 02:18 AM
Re: Almost lost friend Saturday Night!
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Member
Registered: 06/03/04
Posts: 2830
Loc: Massachusetts, USA
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Number 5:Glad your friend is ok now. But what a moment! I'd be weary regarding hubby too! Please, take care of yourself! [ March 27, 2006, 06:19 PM: Message edited by: Songbird ]
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#14309 - 03/29/06 06:38 PM
Re: Almost lost friend Saturday Night!
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Member
Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
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He just doesn't care. He feels no remorse or responsibility for the young man. We were talking about it yesterday and he said, "Well, I hope he's learned his lesson." Yet, he gives the guy these things and then buys him shots too....!
How can he call himself this guy's friend. I'm diligently working to disentangle myself from his sordid life...
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#14310 - 03/29/06 07:21 PM
Re: Almost lost friend Saturday Night!
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Member
Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
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Oh, and Chatty, to answer your question, he holds the purse strings right now. He is the one who pays my auto insurance, my cell phone bill, the rent, and is there as a financial cushion with health insurance. He knows that and says I'm fu***in ungrateful and that he is innocent in this deal. Claims he married me not my whole family. I can see his point in this, but I'm a package deal. He's heading toward retirement in a few months and moving to a retirement community for retired postmen. No kids allowed... He says I'm determined to drive him nuts, so you see, he's not completely wrong. I couldn't help what has happened though and it just is what it is and even if it wasn't, I wouldn't want to live with him for the rest of my life the way he is. I hate it that I'm financially dependent on him right now. I only make $10 an hour and that's not enough to support myself and Aaliyah especially since I have the added expense of daycare now. I feel so humiliated that I have to tolerate his horrible attitude and temper. But with God's help, it won't be for long. I'm a softy and I do care for him I'm sorry for that. I don't want anything bad to happen to him. He does have a lot of health issues. It would suck to be him....
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#14312 - 03/30/06 12:38 AM
Re: Almost lost friend Saturday Night!
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Member
Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
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Thanks again for the advice casey. I forgot to mention that my step-daughter came to stay with my daughter, GD and I to drive Katie around while her license had been revoked and help with GD as needed. Since she has been there she has put nearly 1,000 mi. on my car and only 1/2 of them are from driving Katie around. Her dad says my car is in his name and his daughter can drive it as much as she wants. Also, just as soon as they took Katie away, his daughter went in Katie's room and started rummaging through her drawers and taking her clothes to wear. She started using and may already have taken her expensive makeup and I checked the ser#'s on my daughter's phone as opposed to my stepdaughter's because Katie had bought a new cell ph. just like my stepdaughter's. All she would have had to do is switch the SIM cards.... She takes my GD places and tries to tell me how to care for her. I have told her NOT to take my GD anywhere! without my permission. My stepdaughter sleeps with anyone, anytime and even brought a strange guy into our home and in my daughter's bed. I told her never to bring a stranger into our home again. As soon as I find out what my new schedule at work is, I'm sending her back home. She is a thief, a liar and a manipulator just like her dad. I can't wait to be on my own.
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#14314 - 03/31/06 06:29 PM
Re: Almost lost friend Saturday Night!
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Member
Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
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Thank you casey. I haven't quite figured the SD out yet. I just found this am that she was trying to run off with Katie's new hair straightening iron that she paid a lot of money for.
I can't believe her!! She's like a vulture. Then she turns around and buys A a felt postcard kit so she can send postcards to her mommy.
I think the girl has never had ANY boundaries and has no morals. She just takes whatever she can get and whatever people give her and gives as she feels like it without any regard to personal space.
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#14316 - 04/01/06 01:58 AM
Re: Almost lost friend Saturday Night!
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Member
Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
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Casey, she is leaving Sunday to go back home!!
I cut the use of my car to only when I say it can go somewhere. She had even hung her stuff from the rear view mirror and put all her CD's and things in there like it was her car....
Today, after she met her dad for lunch, she took it upon herself to sit and have a heart to heart with me re her dad. She told me its just not going to work out between the two of us and that her dad told her that having little Aaliyah with us isn't the problem-that the problem is ME...how convenient for him.
His friends all think he is wonderful. They know he yells at me and shoves me and kicks the door down and treats me like s^%$#, but they all just think he is the greatest guy.
Maybe I'm missing something, and after a while you have to wonder if maybe they are right. Maybe the "problem" is me.
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#14319 - 04/01/06 11:50 PM
Re: Almost lost friend Saturday Night!
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Member
Registered: 11/08/03
Posts: 3512
Loc: outer space
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quote: Originally posted by Number5: His friends all think he is wonderful. They know he yells at me and shoves me and kicks the door down and treats me like s^%$#, but they all just think he is the greatest guy.... after a while you have to wonder if maybe they are right. Maybe the "problem" is me.
Of course his friends think he's the "greatest guy." He drinks with them and supplies them with pharmaceuticals. He is useful to them. And they are not the ones being kicked and shoved.
Of course you are the only one in the situation so you are the only one who knows the whole story and you are the only one who can decide what to do. We're just spectators standing outside the ring yelling "defend yourself!"
But we will respect your decision whatever it is.
smile [ April 01, 2006, 04:17 PM: Message edited by: smilinize ]
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#14320 - 04/02/06 01:04 AM
Re: Almost lost friend Saturday Night!
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Member
Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
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I'm getting out Smile, because no matter who is right or wrong, its not working. If I were an outside "spectator" I would see a gregarious man who has many "friends". He has delivered the mail for 21 yrs. He and I are as opposite as day and night. What he wants from life is to get up, go to work, come home, take a nap, go to the bar or the Elks Lodge, drink between 12 and 16 Michelob lights with shots in between, hang out with his friends and chit chat until @11 pm., if he's feeling certain urges, he does his thing with someone, whoever...I don't think he's any more promiscuous than any other man of his ilk.
He wears jeans shorts and a t-shirt and Reeboks all the time. That's it. He lines his shirts up as to whether they are t's or collared. He lines his Reeboks up in perfect order.
He wants a "simple" life and doesn't want anything interfering with his drinking, has never wanted to be around children and doesn't understand why himself. He has a terrible temper and by his own admission is angry all the time. Wants his mate to focus on him and them and only him and them. Smokes excessively. Has oxycodone now and muscle relaxers. Is being tested for HIV and Hepatitis C among other things.
I'm moody, temperamental, creative, colorful, alturistic, ethereal, love change and excitement. I love to read and he hates books, I love to write and he can't hold a pen. I love children and he can't stand to be around them, I love God and he makes fun of and can't tolerate anyone who is even slightly "religious".
So, Smile, that's the truth about him. I'm not making any of it up or embelishing it.
I'm jealous, maternal, loving and caring.
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#14323 - 04/05/06 01:39 AM
Re: Almost lost friend Saturday Night!
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Member
Registered: 12/26/05
Posts: 1066
Loc: Deland, Florida
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I found out today, Chatty, that since we refinanced this house before we were married, I might have a chance to claim some of the profit from the sale of the house. Florida is a no-fault state therefore all the bills and assets are split equally.
There won't be any shame on me. I'm being forced to go forward and its not pleasant. I'm taking it one step at a time. I just know I can't be with him anymore.
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