Thank you for your "company" today alongside me..I must have felt your vibes because I am thinking of looking up an old old woman friend that has moved to another part of Sweden..and perhaps we can meet half way..and spend the nite somewhere and just talk and talk..that would actually be so great!!!! Boy could we talk when she lived near by and she had her kids and I had mine. She knew my Susan,too..very very well.

Orchid..whenever I have thoughts about our relationship of any difficult kind..then the age difference comes up in my mind..but as Mountain Ash pointed out..at this time in our lives..we are kind of on the same page...and my partner says..so far..that he doesn´t see me as a 60 yr old woman (I know..he definitely needs glasses )..but he is this person that likes the flawed..imperfect human being..perfection of any kind, if it exists in fact..well, younger Swedish girls are gorgeous,believe me..but as my partner says..many of them all look the same..but there´s much more to life than the outer part..he DOES like the fact that I am not always on a diet..nibbling at sallads, etc (altho I should be)

Orchid..you are the wonderfully blessed woman who has a husband that circles around on his bike in an inside parking area while you do your cycling..this is not just by chance that this is so..I believe that what you give out..you get..so you must be a very exceptional woman who knows what she´s talking about..

thank you for your thoughts!

We spoke about stages..Erickson says so much.
People who work as your SO and you also will have fine tuned skills with the young.EG a maturity other people may not have yet developed.

Stage 7. Middle Adulthood: 35 to 65

Ego Development Outcome: Generativity vs. Self absorption or Stagnation

Basic Strengths: Production and Care

Now work is most crucial. Erikson observed that middle-age is when we tend to be occupied with creative and meaningful work and with issues surrounding our family. Also, middle adulthood is when we can expect to "be in charge," the role we've longer envied.

The significant task is to perpetuate culture and transmit values of the culture through the family (taming the kids) and working to establish a stable environment. Strength comes through care of others and production of something that contributes to the betterment of society, which Erikson calls generativity, so when we're in this stage we often fear inactivity and meaninglessness.

As our children leave home, or our relationships or goals change, we may be faced with major life changes—the mid-life crisis—and struggle with finding new meanings and purposes. If we don't get through this stage successfully, we can become self-absorbed and stagnate.

Significant relationships are within the workplace, the community and the family.
MA

Humlan
I loved your description of your love story.
MA

Rich, rich topic.

humlan, perhaps this questioning is an awakening of sorts at this stage in your life. I think it's a good thing.

Have you journaled about this? That's really helps me sort things out.

I just love the idea of you doing something special while he is on the ski trip. Brilliant! Then you'll have something to look forward to. Instead of focusing on missing him, you'll be all wrapped up with catching up with your friend. Are you thinking of following up with that?

Mountain Ash..yes, stagnation and self-absorbtion..I fear these things within myself..see them around me and don´t want to fall into that pithole..remembering that what I am seeing as stagnation and self absorbtion around me may actually be a "standing still and regrouping" for some which is not a bad thing.

Expecting to be "in charge" at this stage..now this is something that I am battling with at work. I am officially in charge of my little group of 23 children and 5 adults..but I believe in giving the younger ones space and possiblities to come and incorporate their "new ideas and visions". And yet I have experience..so I can see and feel perhaps at times that the younger cannot do yet. Very tough balance act.

But I do have to allow my partner to blossom and bloom in his work..he needs it very much as he is a person that usually is quite quiet and takes the backseat to whowever makes the most noise. He is not always heard eventho he has alot to say..in his quiet and respectful (for others) way. I think his boss is aware of this..and stops to listen to him eventho he himself (the boss..a dutchman) is quite verbal and likes to talk. But he has insight, this dutchman..and he SEES my partner. So, as you mentioned, Mountain Ash..I will not stand in the way of the coming ski trip at Easter. This is important and will be fun since my partner likes skiing as well. He comes from the north of Sweden after all.

I think that we are starting to find a balance again..in our activities and needs..for the time being. I do believe that I have to take my own interests seriously..and pursue them. Take myself more seriously as an individual and woman who has been thru some things in this life. It´s not always easy to do this because the fear of being selfish and too ego centered is always there. But if I give myself this freedom.. I will be giving the same freedom to my partner and my family at large. Don´t you think? What you give out..you get back..as they say. But there is much truth there,too.

Yes Dotsie.. i think this questioning is quite essential to me right now. I have to pursue these things seriously..what I mean is..give weight to them. And it´s kind of exciting,too. It´s interesting that a relationship can give you the means to take yourself more seriously..very very interesting!

Yes, I have called my old friend this week-end and it seems that we just might be able to meet..either here in Stockholm or in Örebro..which is her hometown and lamost half way between our homes.

She was very happy that I called. And she said that she had been thinking of my Susan lately and had found a little plastic heart necklace that Susan had given her...Susan loved her very much because she is a lively, active, interesting and loving person. She tells you what she thinks straight off the bat..and she can be cold as ice if she feels you have gone too far into her privacy. A very very interesting lady, my dear friend. Maybe Susan has had something to do with our meeting again???

Thank you, Dotsie. No, I don´t journal..I guess I kinda write here or to my few friends on MSN or mail..or facebook. And THIS helps alot..I did journal at times in my life..but I guess I don´t have time now. Or think I don´t.. hmm..

Thanks Dotsie..and thankyou everyone