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#144606 - 07/24/08 10:39 PM Re: Latest Sad Scoop [Re: Edelweiss]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
Edelweiss, how absolutely delightful she is. I loved her singing too. Does she speak German and English? I noticed the singing on the TV was German. She is such a little Princess with her pink castle and pink horse in the background. Some of the women here that are childless say they aren't sure they could love an adopted child. Take a good look at Anayai and be sure because you truly could. I would take her in a heart beat...
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#144607 - 07/25/08 02:27 AM Re: Latest Sad Scoop [Re: chatty lady]
Dee Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/05
Posts: 2561
Loc: Alabama
Edelweiss....I had to watch the video again of Anayia...I could not wait to show Larry when he got home from work today...he thinks she's absolutely adorable and wow...she's able to understand two languages at such a tender age...I'm impressed. Okay...YOU should have been in the video, too...I'm so proud of you for being the wind beneath this child's wings. You can tell how happy she is with you...you, dear heart, I'm certain, will have a special place in heaven. Give that little angel a big hug from her Auntie Dee
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"They will be able to say that she stood in the storm and when the wind did not blow her away....and surely it has not.....she adjusted her sails" - Elizabeth Edwards

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#144608 - 07/25/08 07:14 PM Re: Latest Sad Scoop [Re: Dee]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
Where is the video of this young girl?
dancer9
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#144609 - 07/25/08 07:17 PM Re: Latest Sad Scoop [Re: Dee]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
Edelweiss,
Your DIL's heart will bleed for doing what she is doing.
As I said, I've seen it too many times.
There is no removing that pain when it hits.
It always hits and it could do much to destroy her
when it does.

Dancer9
_________________________
http://www.annalisanews.com/

"Question your privilege"

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#144610 - 07/25/08 07:29 PM Re: Latest Sad Scoop [Re: dancer9]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
A story:
I employed this woman who wanted to be a model. At the time, I was modeling and I was asked by my home town to put together a fashion show for the chamber of commerce and their annual fundraiser. ( I also had to dance.)
This young woman, my age, became a friend, she was a hard worker and friendly.
She had a man whom she loved deeply. A relationship of three years with an engagement.
Finally she got an interview with a top modeling agency in L.A., her dream.
She also found out she was pregnant.
She struggled with the decision she had to make and she decided to abort the child because of the interview and to follow her dream. This was not her fiance's choice, he wanted the baby.
She went to the interview and passed most of their needs, but, she was ONE inch too short and they sent her home, "sorry, no contract."
I already had a baby by the way...
She came home destroyed because they rejected her. Her relationship died for obvious reasons.

Last I saw her, she was married to a man in Scortsdale, a lawyer, and she was a mother, of three, and a body builder.
She was not the same happy, hopeful person.
She told me, "I never did much with my modeling."

There you have it. You are a mother, in this case, it was a baby concieved in love, or you are ambitious beyond seeing beyond yourself.

Your DIL is really breaking her own heart and ruining her career...

Dancer9
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http://www.annalisanews.com/

"Question your privilege"

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#144611 - 07/25/08 10:26 PM Re: Latest Sad Scoop [Re: dancer9]
chickadee Offline
Member

Registered: 09/26/04
Posts: 3910
Loc: Alabama
EW, what would your dil do if you weren't there for her child? Would she have to come home or would she find someone else to watch her?
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#144612 - 07/26/08 12:52 AM Re: Latest Sad Scoop [Re: Edelweiss]
dancer9 Offline


Registered: 04/16/07
Posts: 2411
Loc: Arizona
Edelweiss, I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for what you are doing. It means so much, and it means so much to me.

I was raised by my Grandfather, a man I loved, I still love, now that he's gone and admire more than anyone I know, anyone I've met, ever.

My parents were two rich, spoiled kids that had children.
They were COMPLETELY absorbed in themselves and each other.
My mother was a successful painter but she would shop for supplies and not go grocery shopping. It was so bad that often my siblings and I ate PAPER until my father came home to feed us. My father was not there and could not be there as he worked to support our family and then was indulging himself in his hobbies when not working.
If my parents needed money, they asked their parents. They were sad excuses for a Mother and Father.

My grandfather built his estate next door to his only child, my mother. He took to me as I took to him and we spent countless hours together. We sang, we ate, we camped out together, all just he and I. He was born in 1900 so he taught me so much! He was a graduate twice, from the U of Virginia so he taught me that sort of thing as well. I adored him and I would not have survived without our special friendship.
He would make up reasons for needing me to help him so my parents would let me stay with him instead of getting abused and beaten.
When I wanted to dance, I was a ranked tennis player because my father forced it on me. I was miserable.

My grandfather secretly bought my tights, paid for my lessons, and convinced my mother to let me go.

and when I was 9, he gave me a stero and a microphone so I could sing and kept it at his house. Say no more, I was in heaven. He put in his earphones and listened to "Paul Harvey," while his grand daughter sang and danced her heart out.

He had traveled to India and studied yoga, so he taught me that, helping my dancing.

My shrinks have said that I survivedd the abuse that distroyed my siblings because of my special relationship with him.

When I lost him I lost my whole family. But he left me well prepared and I say, to this day, "what would Grandpa say."

I've never posted anything like this anywhere. I just wanted to open up to you and tell you how much a grandparent can make.

He was my "all." He never yelled at me ONCE.

Dancer, sharing my love so you know who you are..


Edited by dancer9 (07/26/08 01:06 AM)
_________________________
http://www.annalisanews.com/

"Question your privilege"

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#144613 - 07/26/08 01:09 AM Re: Latest Sad Scoop [Re: dancer9]
Anonymous
Unregistered


Edelweiss, your granddaughter is so cute! I really like her princess tent!

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#144614 - 07/26/08 07:11 AM Re: Latest Sad Scoop [Re: ]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
I’m overwhelmed with all your heartfelt comments. What would I do without you; my dear dear friends.

I haven’t been able to post much lately, and wrote Dotsie a message that I will be cutting my visits down. I need to spend more quality time with Hubby. Between my Mom, Anaiya, and work, Hubby has been getting the short end of things. But I did sneak in to see this post, and just had to reply to all of you. My heart is filled with love and thankfulness when I read your comments.

Chick, My Dil told our son if we don't take Anaiya, then she will bring her to her own mother, who would probably have put Anaiya in a daycare, since she works and doesn't have a partner. She lives in a poor high crime neighborhood. We didn't have much choice.

Last night I had a strange dream. I dreamt I heard Anaiya calling for me. She was outside, and I was in the house. I ran to the window, and saw how she tried to climb in, between wrought iron bars. (We don’t have that on our windows). I managed to help her squeeze in, and then held her tightly in my arms.

I heard once from the mother after 2 ½ weeks. I told her the least she could do is let me know when she’s coming back. She said, she wasn’t able to speak to anyone lately, because she didn’t make the team. I mean really, how could she even be surprised about that! Not once in the year and a half did she play with them on tour. Anyway, I replied I still expected a call. And then added, we are more than just babysitters. Without any further comment she hung up on me!

Half an hour later I got an email from her: “I just wanted to say that I love you with the love of Jesus.... Always remember that.”

What? I don’t understand it, like I don’t understand her. Although Dancer, your posts helped me understand her a little more. And I thank you for that. Thank God you had your grandfather when growing up. He sounds like he was your true guardian angel.

Our son will finally be back in Germany tonight.( He was gone for 3 weeks.) So she will see her Daddy again tomorrow. That means it’s happy dance time again.

Anaiya sends you all hand kisses.

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#144615 - 07/26/08 08:38 AM Re: Latest Sad Scoop [Re: Edelweiss]
Mountain Ash Offline
Member

Registered: 12/30/05
Posts: 3027
This is so deeply sad.For everyone
Like dancer I have experience of a similar situation.
I as an adult accept things that confused me when a a child.My love was centred on my Grandparents.My feeling for my mother were as if she were an older sister.Her bother and sisters varied in their attitute to me.Two were wonderful.One hid her true feelings.Another OK.It was really the collective expressions that confused me.Only as an adult (and with pain) did I clearly see the whole picture.
I can say truthfully that my Mother loved me.In her way.She nurtured me in her body and gave birth.Indeed just after I gave birth I thought of that.But my reasoning was how could she then go through this then hand me over.When my Father left her I was 10 months old. within weeks she went out with her friends and resumed single life.There was no stopping her. So I conclude she could compartmentise her self.
I belonged to her past.
it may be that your DIL does this also.But her fantasy of being in the team and part of an extended family(the squad) has overtaken her duty to her baby.This did not happen to me.Nor most people but I know others have been like my mother.
also imagine if she had stayed and taken her frustration out on the baby.
Mothering is not the same for everyone.We have to respect that.

many of us have said our bit about this.I add these thoughts due to dancer sharing.
My opinion is that baby stays with you for a time until she goes to school..then your son has a new lifestyle..dont look too far..your son may have to adjust change his job.Mother may want visits..but all that is for later.
Meanwhile enjoy that child.Give her days filled with love music and approval.LET HER SING.

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