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#148236 - 05/09/08 02:41 AM Why DID the chicken cross the road
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
Why DID the chicken cross the road....?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on 'THIS' side of the road before it goes after the problem on the 'OTHER SIDE' of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his 'CURRENT' problems before adding 'NEW' problems.


OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.



GEORGE W. BUSH : We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.


COLIN POWELL : Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road...


BARRACK OBAMA : Because he wanted change! Nobody said the other side was better but it was different.


JOHN KERRY : Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am n ot for it now, and will remain against it.


HILLARY CLINTON: To vote for me, of course. It is my time and I am the only person in the world who can save America (with a little help from Bill)


PAT BUCHANAN : To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.


DR SEUSS : Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.



JOHN EDWARDS : To come to the law offices of John Edwards &Associates so he could file a lawsuit against KFC for inhumane treatment of chickens awaiting slaughter.

COLONEL SANDERS : Did I miss one?


ERNEST HEMINGWAY : To die in the rain. Alone.



HARRY REID: This is unacceptable to me; it's unacceptable to the American people. This chicken must stay on his side of the road.

BARBARA WALTERS : Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.


JOHN LENNON : Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.


BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken. This new platform is much more stable and will never cra...#@&&^(C% <mailto: cra...#@&amp;&amp;%5E%28C%> <mailto: cra...#@&amp;&amp;%5E%28C%> ..... reboot.


ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?


O.J. SIMPSON: To show how he WOULD have crossed the street if he crossed the street.


BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?


AL GORE : I invented the chicken!


[Lavender] CHENEY : Where's my gun?


AL SHARPTON : Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens

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#148237 - 05/09/08 09:01 AM Re: Why DID the chicken cross the road [Re: Edelweiss]
Dancing Dolphin Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 2529
Loc: Southern California
LOVE that one!! Thanks for sharing!

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#148238 - 05/09/08 09:06 AM Re: Why DID the chicken cross the road [Re: Edelweiss]
jabber Online   content
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 9583
Loc: New York State
jabber,
To get away from the chicken abuse at the chicken farm!

Edelweiss,
These were cute. Hey what the heck is up with Barbarb Walters? She must have enough money, without exploiting past indiscretions. Why in the world would she write about having an affair with a married man? Don't know about anybody else but that diminishes my respect for her. I don't think it's cool to brag about messing around with another woman's man! What's up with that????
_________________________
Everything loses its flavor without God!
Joyce Meyer Ministries

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#148239 - 05/09/08 09:27 AM Re: Why DID the chicken cross the road [Re: jabber]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
How funny! I love these. I bet we could invent some of our own reasons, too.

Kristie Alley: Chicken? What chicken? I swear I didn't eat that chicken! I've lost another 20 pounds just chasing after that chicken. I swear! Whatttt? Have too! Have too!

Valerie Bertinellie: The chicken crossed the road to call Jenny, of course! Kristie, nana nana boo boo...

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#148240 - 05/09/08 09:57 AM Re: Why DID the chicken cross the road [Re: jawjaw]
chatty lady Offline
Writer

Registered: 02/24/04
Posts: 20267
Loc: Nevada
The chicken crossed the road where it will be the latest celebrity (ha-ha) to appear on Dancing With The Stars...
_________________________
Take a peek at my BLOG:

http://charleen-micheles.blogspot.com/


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#148241 - 05/10/08 07:22 AM Re: Why DID the chicken cross the road [Re: chatty lady]
Lola Offline
Member

Registered: 06/23/06
Posts: 3703
Loc: London UK
Shakespearean chicken: "To cross or not to cross, that is the question"
_________________________
<><

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#148242 - 05/10/08 09:56 AM Re: Why DID the chicken cross the road [Re: chatty lady]
jabber Online   content
Member

Registered: 02/17/05
Posts: 9583
Loc: New York State
And on "Dancing With The Stars" Chatty's chicken will do "The Chicken Dance."
_________________________
Everything loses its flavor without God!
Joyce Meyer Ministries

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#148244 - 05/10/08 03:47 PM Re: Why DID the chicken cross the road [Re: ]
Edelweiss Offline
Member

Registered: 06/05/06
Posts: 4136
Loc: American living in Europe
Hahaha...you gals are good.

I would say the chicken crossed the road to visit the c o c k.... you do know I mean the rooster. So what were you thinking?

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#148245 - 05/10/08 04:55 PM Re: Why DID the chicken cross the road [Re: Edelweiss]
Dancing Dolphin Offline
Member

Registered: 03/06/06
Posts: 2529
Loc: Southern California
Some chicks will dodge a lot of semi-trucks just to find a good rooster, Edelweiss...

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#148246 - 05/10/08 06:17 PM Re: Why DID the chicken cross the road [Re: Dancing Dolphin]
jawjaw Offline
Da Queen

Registered: 07/02/03
Posts: 12025
Loc: Alabama
The chicken crossed the road because it was a female, and we all know that females have to do every freakin' thing....so cross the road she goes...then to the 7-11 to get cokes, chips, charcoal, and lighter fluid, back by the Piggly Wiggly to pick up some fresh beef (you didn't really think she would get chicken, did you?) and home again, home again...

She got everything for the big Mother's Day cookout her chick-a-dees were having for her. Now all she has to do is cross BACK over the road, go home, clean the entire house, marinate the burgers, light the grill, and hand the plate of burgers to her chicks so they can say, "WE COOKED OUT FOR MOM ON MOTHER'S DAY."

And THAT is why the chickendiva crossed the road.

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