Dianne,

Thank you so much. May the blessings of your heart bring you much happiness.

Vi

Are you feeling the loss of your loved ones today - this holiday season? Are you all okay? Do you need support?

Gosh, thanks for asking,Vi.

Mom died 30 years ago.......funny how it's still so raw.......especialy at Christmastime.

I never was able to have babies, so it's DH and I and our five dogs. Yes, you are all so right about them. They are my saving grace! Even with one doggy in heat now (:wink:) I still need them. Not one of them is my favorite......ALL of them are.

Loss is something that goes in stages. I also blame the commercialized "holy-days" (some call them holidays). People are constantly asking "spending time with family? Going "home" for Christmas". Well, this is home and my family is DH where we live.

Loss: When Mom died, we were so unprepared for it. She left a husband (age 47) and four children, ages 16 to 23. It was the hardest thing I'd ever had to get thru in my life. Still is, really.

I've missed a "mommy" in my life, so I feel like I just flailed around living what I thought was a good life. NOT! too many husbands, no kids and often times very lonely.

Granted, even with kids and a DH, some are lonely, but the only life I know is mine. And my feelings are my true, honest ones.

So, another Christmas has come and gone. WHEW! DH and I just say let's get this over with so we can get on with life at least for the next 365 days!

Vi and Di, I was glad to read your posts. Thank you for asking and sharing.
It is seven years to the hour that my Dear Mom passed away. I miss her terribly but I spent the day remembering our last precious Christmas together. Dad passed a few years earlier on December 12th. Mom was buried on New Year's Day...Her and Dad's Wedding Anniversary.
Yes, I am Okay but this year just seems a little harder.
Hugs to all who are finding it difficult today.

Love
chick

[ December 25, 2005, 11:06 PM: Message edited by: chickadee ]

Di, I don't have any kids either. It was my choice. My cats are my children. My third husband, a keeper, is allergic to dogs. So when my dogs passed, I didn't get anymore. Wow, you were young when you lost your mom. That must have been so horribly difficult. What about Dad? Who/what is DH? Is this short for....?

I miss my mommy sometimes too, although I've been fortunate enough to have her all these years. She's 87. But she has dimentia and is not the person she used to be. Dad's been gone 22 years. This year I miss him more than usual, I think because my sister passed in June.

My husband and I do not celebrate the holidays, except what we need to do for our mothers. There have been so many tragedies in my life that it took it all out of me. My sweetheart died 17 years ago a couple of weeks before Christmas. Dad loved Christmas. So when I hear the Christmas songs in the stores it bring in the sadness. I too am glad when it's over, and people stop talking about it. Some feelings I just can't get back.

Chick, wow seven years to the hour, and you lost your dad at this time of year. At least a triple whammy including the anniverary thing.

My aunt Lottie who was about 85 when she said this, once said, "When you don't have your momma what do you have?" She was a strong woman with a twinkle in her eyes. She faced everything really well and yet she missed her momma a lot.

This kind of thing reinforces the need for us all to get along and love each other - even those, maybe especially those we have never met. We are all in the together.

Please, take a piece of my heart and use it to comfort your own,

Vi

[ December 26, 2005, 02:01 AM: Message edited by: Vi ]

Di and Chickadee you both made me cry talking about your mothers.

Christmas is officially over now so I hope you two had some joy in it. My love to you both!

Vi, Di, Chick

Gotta a few minutes before work, thought I'd stop by......

As you know, this was our first Christmas without Nichole. And I don't mind using my son's language and saying, "It sucks." That pretty well sums that up.

I am feeling for every one of you and myself too. And others I've read about on these posts. Boy, death can sure take the magic out of a magical thing. I want my mommy too. And my dad. But most of all...you know. My only comfort is that I know Nik is with my Mom. And they loved each other like no two other people, and that makes me feel much better.

In fact, I don't know if I've posted this before, but here's a sweet little story: One time Mother came to visit. She had a pretty little ring she was wearing with a purple stone - amythist(sp?)- Nichole was admiring it (she loved that jewelry!!)and so , as always, Mom said that when she got home, she would send Nichole one just like it, so they could wear matching rings and 'be with each other over the miles". Of course she did. A very special ring to Nichole.

Nichole lived in a group home for awhile, when I needed to work and she could never be left alone. And as you can imagine, things were often "lost" . So was the ring.

5 years later,after Nichole had been home for almost 4 years, and a couple of days after Nichole died - when I was screaming in my head, wondering where she was and if my Mother had truly come to get her - I opened Nik's night stand drawer to get a hair tie. She kept only a few things in that drawer - her hair ties, her diary and a few other little things. All the little things were pushed aside and there, all by itself was the ring. I truly stood there motionless and could not believe what my eyes were seeing. Time was, as they say, suspended. I was suspended. My mind didn't know where to be. Slowly, I started to focus , and fell to the floor, crying for the joy of knowing that my Mother had put that ring there. To give me physical proof that she had my Nik.

Just to tell you that I had been in that drawer daily, for the hair ties. There had been no ring there. Not for all the years. And if Nichole had found the ring, unbeknownst to me, she would have shouted to the rooftops that she had found it, because it was THEIR connection (forgot to say that my mom died in '89)over time and space. Needless to say, I wear the purple ring. (Nichole's birthstone, by the way)

Well, I just made myself feel better - I hope this has made at least one of you feel better too.

Searcher

and maybe ALL the magic isn't gone after all........

Searcher, the ring story brought me to tears - of joy and sadness. Thank you for sharing it.

And your son is right - "it sucks." But one thing
I must say...Nichole was SO loved, that is obvious. Not everyone can say that at the end of their lives.

((HUGS))

Searcher,

I know your momma put the ring there. Those who go to another level can do things for us here. It's just that we become skeptical of things like that in our world laden with practicalities. What a blessing for you to find the ring. Your momma loves you. Your momma loves Nik and is taking care of her. How totally wonderful to have the confirmation.

Searcher, what a beautiful story! I truly believe that it was your Mother telling you she was caring for Nichole.