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#15477 - 12/20/05 11:21 PM Re: How to be compassionate
Di Offline
Member

Registered: 11/15/05
Posts: 2798
Loc: NM, transplant from NJ
I feel that compassion is saying, "I'm so sorry for your loss. Even though I cannot identify with your loss, I'm always here as your friend to listen/pray with you", if you can not identify with that loss.

If you have, saying "I'm so sorry. I know how you feel. When you are ready to talk about it, I'm here to listen/pray with you".

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#15478 - 12/21/05 03:25 AM Re: How to be compassionate
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
Vi, my favorite from my relatives is, I'm fixing to get ready to...

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#15479 - 12/21/05 03:40 AM Re: How to be compassionate
Daisygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
My xhusband and his family were from the south. When my father died, the women of the family decided they would cook a meal for my family to have after the funeral instead of each sending flowers. They cooked a huge country meal and it was nice to not have to worry about it. My x's mother died when he was 8 and his father died when he was 12 and the oldest sister (at 21) took in 4 younger siblings. They knew all about loss and they were there to lift me up in mine.

I'm going to short out my keyboard with tears if I don't stop here - haha I do miss them.

Daisygirl

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#15480 - 12/21/05 07:17 PM Re: How to be compassionate
Dianne Offline
Queen of Shoes

Registered: 05/24/04
Posts: 6123
Loc: Arizona
[Frown]

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#15481 - 12/21/05 11:03 PM Re: How to be compassionate
Dotsie Offline
Founder

Registered: 07/09/08
Posts: 23647
Loc: Maryland
Can you imagine a 21 year old caring for four siblings. What a dear.

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#15482 - 12/22/05 05:27 AM Re: How to be compassionate
Vi Offline
Member

Registered: 05/21/05
Posts: 252
DJ, thanks for the suggestions on what to say. There was a time I had no idea. Now it's easier, now because I've been there. I think it's something kids need to be taught, so they won't feel so awkward around those who have experienced loss. It could be like teaching them manners.

Daisygirl, may your heart be wrapped in love and may this heal your pain.

This time of year it's sometimes harder, I think, because our loved ones that were once part of the holidays, are no longer here in person. Christmas songs can trigger the pain for me. That happened yesterday while I was shopping for my mom.

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#15483 - 12/23/05 06:36 AM Re: How to be compassionate
Searcher Offline
Member

Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 645
Loc: boise
O you guyyyyyyys,

You make my heart bleed! I , indeed, cannot imagine a 21 year old caring for 4 siblings. But I know that she will be forever blessed because of it....Life has a way of rewarding just such gestures..........

And Yahh, shurr, ya' betcha, life's hard, but if ya'll just come on down t' my place, we'll treetcha right!!!! God Bless ya'll...........

Search

o and my granny used to say, "she's gonna' come an' carry me to the groshry sto'"......God Bless her Pea-Pickin' Heart............

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#15484 - 12/23/05 06:46 AM Re: How to be compassionate
Searcher Offline
Member

Registered: 10/11/05
Posts: 645
Loc: boise
Daisygirl,

I'm sorry. I'm thinking of you.

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#15485 - 12/23/05 05:32 PM Re: How to be compassionate
Daisygirl Offline
Member

Registered: 08/25/05
Posts: 1052
Loc: Ohio
Thanks you guys, but really, I've been out of the family for 15 years and I don't dwell on it - I've moved on. I've seen them since at my son's wedding and they were all trying to get me back into the family. I told them they'd have to adopt a new brother. hehehe They don't like my replacement. If I wanted to see them, I could since they live close, but it's better for me to stay away because they always want to talk about my ex and keep me updated on how miserable he is.

Yes, the older sister who took them in is very special, now a widow. She had 4 girls of her own....you'd think she'd had enough of children by that time.

I was very fortunate to have had them in my life.

Daisygirl

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